Superman
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Superloser
Superloser is a fictional character who reins from cybertron and has abnormally big facial muscles and loves humping cats and dogs for fun!
POWERS
- Super Hump
- Super Writing
- Super Fast Walking
- Attracts men
- Kierans Gay!!!!
- Good friends with Franz Jaggerstatter
- SuperStare (using superstrong facial muscles)
-Being friends with a gay people e.g. Zac, Paddsters
- SuperSeeing Eye thingy
- Being extremely GAY in a very Loserish WAY!!!!
- Able to read the mind of Gay people only e.g. Paddsters, Lauska, except 'LIAM KJ' cause he's too SUPERSGAY FOR THAT
- 7 nanometre... thing...
- Seducing Gays very easily
- Keiran has a VERY small PENIS as well in fact its inside out = VAGINA!!! Also doesnt loose his virginity till 2050 to a man!!! (PADDSTERS!!)
[edit] LIFE
Superloser was born in 1999BC (but ages slowly so really hes only 15 now) and was shunted from his home planet Cybertron by his parents, after 2000 yrs of traveling he entered the earths atmosphere which from the suns yellow rays, gave his Superloserish powers which he used to his ability in class playing trick on other kids, such as:
Walking to Pat and Kieran's house (they live together and sleep naked!!!) house and humping them hard (Pat & Keiran were friends he made in yr 8 and got to love them but they dont love him back)
- Attracting men such as Pat, Zac, but TORY (soon to be arch enemy) is too strong for these powers and is SUPER STRAIGHT!!!!
-Enjoying long walks on the beach with his homophobic, trans-sexual, lesbian, schizophrenic puppies & Kittens
-Generally raping people (MEN- Especially Zac, Paddsters, Keiran but it was turning into sex with Kieran cause he wanted it!)
-DANCING WITH GIRLS AT ALOYSIUS DANCES!!!!!
Back to the story:
Superloser still lives on earth and is now 2009 yrs old and loves long walks on the beaches and doesnt do physical love (for all those women looking for a man although i dont recommend this guy).
FRIENDS
Kieran is called "Kieran the Horney" Pat a guy in his primary school class was called "Pat the Fat Gay" Also there was this legendary guy called TORY (thats his nickname) who Superloser worshipped but "TORY" hated Superloser cause he was Supercool!
BACK TO HIS LIFE
Once he turned 13 (from slow ageing) he felt he needed a change so he said to himself, "I'm not gay enough."
He went to Pat and asked him, "Can u talk to me please!" Pat said, "Hey, Gay cunt Orgy brother!" SuperLoser was like, "aaaahhhhhh i feel soooooo good now!!!" and had Hardcore, kinky sex then left for his house in the local town, Kings Cross
NEW JOB
40yrs later he aged about 20 yrs (aged faster during that period) Superloser felt he should protect Metro-polis, he made a SuperLoser suit.
(I DONT EVEN THINK HE CAN WEAR THAT THING!!)
PROBLEM The problem he faced was that he couldnt fly so he based his work on the ground, such as Robberies, Car Jacking etc.
THE LONG AWAITED RETURN OF SUPERCOOL AND STRAIGHT "TORY" Superloser was walking at his SuperSpeed during the day and saw someone breaking into a car using his Superseeing Eye thingy, he went up to the guy and turns out it was TORY an old friend he loved. He said to him "STOP!!"
TORY was like "NO!!!" then ripped of his shirt to so off his SuperRipply Muscles which are like 1 TRILLION times bigger than PADDSTERS and KJ's muscles put together (PADDSTERS was soon to be TORYs and Superlosers Arch Nemesis) which are like WOW! So Tory's are like Super Dooper Quadrilateral Mathimatical equational WOW!!!, Superloser was flabbergasted! And POWER WALKED away at his SuperTop Speed.
SKIPPING AHEAD A FEW YEARS (2009)
Superloser is hated by EVERYONE as he has only protected one store from being robbed as he was able to read the robbers mind as he was gay (the robber), then Superloser raised his eyebrows and winked at him in a very sexual way and the Robber got seduced and then Superloser got him into the police station through the back door without him realising.
So everybody hated him and there were thousands of robberies all over Metro-Polis, and Superloser now had two BIG arch enemies PADDSTERS and TORY who had recently became a team after being arch enemies (but thats a different story). Superloser knew he was gonna be killed by TORY and PADDSTERS so he started going to the gym and doing 1kg weights and 2 months later he could finally do 2kg weights but had broken both arms after lifting it twice and is now in the Hospital. The day he got the the Hospital he tripped on a piece of gum (less than a 'cm' in circumference) and fell down the stares breaking his Upper arms, Legs, and Fingers now he is in a very bad condition and is half in a coma but amazingly within 1 day his whole left arm healed, now people think he has Superfast healing powers (idea forgotten as it turned out machine was broken.
SOMETHING THAT WAS VERY GOOD FOR SUPERLOSER
PADDSTERS was crushed and killed instantly after an earthquake at Kings Cross station and a whole bridge and train fell on him and 10 others. Once Superloser heard this he instantly felt there was a huge weight lifted off him and on to PADDSTERS (WAAAAYYYYYYY PADDSTERS!!!!!!!). But TORY was still alive and had just had sex with a girl for the 4millionth time.
