For untrustworthy foreigners
Welcome, all ye who enter. You are about to embark on a mission most arduous: reading a tedious, hopelessly pompous, and largely pointless introductory essay on the Finno-Hikipedian experience. Whereas other nations may have fancy national identities, Finns have a shared inferiority complex. This is why they, whenever opportunity rears its ugly head, choose to afflict upon innocent, helpless foreigners the unbearable tedium of “enlightening” them about Finland and all related issues. The Finnish National Tourism Board, a sinister Fascist organization ruling much of the godforsaken country with an iron fist, has been most aggressive in enforcing the policy according to which Finnish subjects must, when encountering foreigners, present them with a comprehensive overview of his/her glorious fatherland.
In accordance with this policy, we, the Embassy of the Most Exalted & Serene Empire of Hikipedia under the Glorious Emblem of the Double Wolverine and the Sacred Spruce Crown of St. Ykä, present all visitors with this complimentary Introduction to the enchanting world that is the Finno-Hikipedian experience – all dumbed down and sexed up to meet the needs of the untrustworthy foreigner. While this presentation is authorized by Hikipedia, it lacks the official recognition, if not the reluctant toleration, of the Republic of Finland.
During the presentation, do not hesitate to help yourself to the soda on the corner table, the brandy in the cupboard or the gun on the desk.
- ↑ the ones that matter, at least
- ↑ including suicidal drinking habits, suicide, and drinking
- ↑ The word citizen in rarely used, since it covertly implies possession of certain rights.