UnSource:List of computing and technology acronyms
From Uncyclomedia, the UnMeta-wiki
See also List of acronyms, the main portion of this list
This page uses material from Wikipedia:List of backronyms and is licensed under the GFDL
[edit] Computing and telecommunications
[edit] Not originally acronyms
| Ada | A computer programming language named after Ada Lovelace, with intended-humorous backronym of Another Damn Acronym. |
| Admin | A Dickhead Meanie In Networking A Dumbass Making Intelligence Non-existent |
| Apple | Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity |
| Bing | Bing Is Not Google |
| Java | Just Another Vague Acronym Just Another Vain Attempt |
| Linux | Linux Is Not UniX LINus' UniX LINUs' miniX |
| Macintosh | Most Applications Crash (or Machine Always Crashes), If Not, The Operating System Hangs |
| Microsoft | My Incompetent Computer Randomly Operates Sensibly/Stupidly On Floating point Tasks Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers (or Toddlers) |
| Mod | Mean Old Dickhead |
| Multics | Many Unnecessary Long Tables In Core Simultaneously |
| Pentium | Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math PC Errors Not Tolerable I'd Use Macintosh |
| Perl | Practical Extraction and Report Language Pathologically Eclectic Rubbish Lister Parse Every Random Line (in honor of the extensions proposed for Perl 6) Pathetic Excuse for a Real Language Polymorphic Existential Recursive Lambdas. |
| Ping | Packet InterNet Groper (more rarely, Packet InterNet Grouper) |
| Seagate | Super Explosive After God Attack The Earth |
| Sid | Still In Development |
| Spam | Shit Posted As Mail System Plugged (with) Annoying Messages Stupid Person's AdvertiseMent Stupid Puerile Ad Mail Sewage Posing As Mail Send People Annoying Messages Stupid Pointless Annoying Messages Sell Penis Augmentation Medicine Stupid Posts And Messages |
| Tyan | Trash You'll Avoid Now (Not the most reliable co-lo server Uncyclomedia has ever owned...) |
| Twain | There Wasn't Any Interesting Name Technology Without An Interesting Name (Origin appears to be "east is east, west is west and never the twain shall meet...") |
| Windows | Windows Is Not a Defined Operating/Working System (this is actually a recursive backronym) Will Install Needless Data On Whole System. |
| Vista | Viruses, Idiocy, Spyware, Trojans & Adware. Vastly Inferior System To Apple. |
[edit] Re-interpreted acronyms
| AMOS | A Mound Of Shit |
| AOL | Almost On Line America Off Line Assholes On Line American OverLords Army Of Lamers Always Off Line America Outta Line |
| APL | A Perfect Language A Preposterous Language Another Programming Language similar others |
| ASP | Awfully Slow Pages |
| ATM | A Terrible Mistake. |
| BASIC | Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control Banal Annoyingly Slow Interpretive Computing |
| BUD | Big Useful Dish (for C band satellite fans, term was previously defined as "Big Ugly Dish") |
| BUMP | Bring Up My Post |
| C & W | Clueless & Witless |
| COBOL | Completely Obscure, Basically Obsolete Language Completely Obscure Boring Old Language Compiles Only Because Of Luck Copy of BASIC, Only Longer |
| CRTC | Can't Really Tell if it's Canadian Canadians Rarely Talk on Cellphones |
| CYGNUS | CYGNUS, Your GNU Support (recursive acronym) |
| DEC | Do Expect Cuts |
| DOS | quick 'n' Dirty Operating System Defunct/Defective Operating System Dumb Operating System |
| DMA | Direct Mind Access |
| DMCA | Don't Make Content Accessible |
| DRM | Draconian Restrictions Management Digital Rights Mismanagement Microsoft Ready for Domination (acronym backward) Don't Read Me |
| EMACS | Escape, Meta, Alt, Control, Shift EMACS Makes A Computer Slow Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping (In German:) EMACS Macht Alle Computer Schön (EMACS makes all computers good) |
| EPOC | Electronic Piece Of Cheese (former name of Symbian OS for mobile phones) |
| FAQ | Frequently Avoided Questions |
| FM | Fuck Me! |
| FORTH | Found On Really Tiny Hardware |
| FCC | During the heyday of citizen's band radio, those who operated illegally or on the edge of the law called the Federal Communications Commission the Friendly Candy Company or Fat Chance Charlie. Critics of the FCC also use "Fuckers, Cocksuckers, and Cunts." |
| GNU | GNU's Not Unix GNU Needs Users (recursive backronyms), Gates Now Unhappy |
| GNU EMACS | Generally Not Used Except by Middle Aged Computer Scientists. |
| GOATSE | GameSurge Offensive Apprehension and Tactical Strike Evaluation Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone |
| HAL | Decronym (one letter before) of IBM |
| HP | High Price |
| IBM | Inferior But Marketable It's Better Manually Idiots Become Managers Invented By Monkeys Insidious Black Magic International Brotherhood of Magicians It's Been Malfunctioning Incontinent Bowel Movement I Blame Microsoft (see OS) I Buy Macintosh Internal Bit Mixing I've Been Moved (by 1950s and 1960s employees in reference to frequent relocations) Inmensa Bola de Mierda (Spanish, Immense Ball of Manure or huge piece of shit) |
| IIS | It Isn't Secure |
| ISDN | I Still Don't Need it It Still Does Nothing I Smell Dollars Now Intentionally Slow Dumb Networking |
| LISP | Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses Lots of Infuriating/Idiotic Silly Parentheses Lost In Silly/Stupid Parentheses Lost In a Sea of Parentheses (after its syntax (involving a lot of parentheses (indeed!))) |
| MIPS | Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed |
| MCSE | Must Consult Some Expert Must Consult Someone/Somebody Experienced Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert |
| MMU | Magical Mystery Unit |
| NFS | Not Fully Serviceable/Stable/Secure No F'ing Security Not Finding Something Network's F'ing Slow |
| NT | Not Tested Not There Nice Try Neanderthal Technology No Thanks Not Today Nasty and Troublesome Not to be Trusted;(in Spanish:) No Trabaja (It doesn't work) (In Finnish) reads like "en tee" meaning "I won't do (it)" Windows NT (WNT) is an incronym (one letter after) of VMS the previous OS designed by Dave Cutler the designer of NT |
| NTFS | Neatly Toasted File System Now Try Finding Something |
| OSF | Oppose Sun Forever |
| PHP | People Hate Perl PHP: Hyperprocessed Poo PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor |
| Prolog | PRObably the Language Of God |
| RAM | Rarely Adequate Memory |
| RPG | Really Poor Grammar Rapidly Programmed Garbage |
| SCSI | System Can't See It (referring to inherent problems with SCSI drivers under Microsoft Windows) |
| SQL | Seems Quite Lousy/Ludicrous Slow Queries Lastingly |
| SSDD | Same Shit, Different Day |
| TIFF | Thousands of Incompatible File Formats (referring to divergent third-party extensions that have compromised the portability of the format) |
| TSR | Trash System Randomly |
| UDP | Unreliable Datagram Protocol (in context of its use for streaming media and Internet telephony in real-time applications where dropped or delayed packets are simply ignored, not retransmitted, due to timing constraints) |
| Vi | Velocity Inclusive Very Inconvenient |
| WWW | WorldWide Wait Wait Wait Wait |
| Wi-Fi | Wireless Internet, Free Internet We Inevitably Find Interference |
| Windows XP | X out your Privacy Xtended Problems Xtra Pain XiaoPing Xtra Profits Xtra Pain Xtra Processor Xtra Pathetic Xplode PC Xtremely Proprietary Xceedingly Putrid Xceedingly poor Xponential Pricing XPensive XPired Xtra Problems linuX-Promoting Xtra Payment XPerimental Xtra Profits Xcremental Pile Xclude Pirates Xperiencing Problems |
| Windows Me | Massively Evil Murderously Evil Millennium Eviction Millionth Edition |
