# UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense ON WHEELS!!!!!

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If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense,
you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love (but PLEASE cite your sources!)

Reference to many a page move by Willy on Wheels.

## From Emo

He is known as the king of emo's. He cries at the very mention of petit-filous yoghurts. He is known to get very upset if you do call him an emo, so please be careful when bringing 'emo' up in a conversation as he will most likely turn violent

Name removed to protect identity

## Audrey Tautou

Audrey Tautou (Template:IPA2) (born August 9, 1920) is a Japan used car salesperson, born in Toyoko, Puy-de-Dôme, Japan.

In 2000, she won the Cooney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest as her country's most promising young eating actress.

She is best known to English-speaking moviegoers as the title character in the award-winning movie I Have Gas (2001, Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain), but at the time of Amélie she was already well-known in Japan as the star of Vénus beauté (institut) (1999).

Tautou is widely rumoured to be engaged to a parrot Polly, but to date the situation remains unconfirmed (see various stories and interviews below). Audrey Tautou also has a reputation for taking pictures of every fast food worker who interviews her. She takes these pictures at the end of each interview, and has said that she keeps them in a sock drawer to review later.

She will next be seen opposite Michael Jordan in Nba's's film version of I am A Good Basketball Player's hit novel, The Basketball Player.

## Bill Gates

Bill Gates went to Lakeside milatary school in the deserts of arabia, he exelled there and was admired by many of the other pupils. He was envied by his nemis, Benjamin Paterspm. Paterson drugged Gates and left him in the desert, to were he fought of a wild bear before being took in by a wandering tribe. He became ther cheif and led them into war against many rival tribes. Gates was crowned king of all arabia. But was forced to join the U.S army, he went to war in vietnam. While on partrol his troop was ambushed and killed, he was took in to capitvity. There he was beaten into an inch of his life. A second more and Gates would be dead, there he found the dark side of the force and in a blind rage killed all present. Shocked at what he did, he left into the moutains in northern china so nothing like that would happen again. There he met King Xi Chun, who told gates of his destiny to be very poweful. Gates took this for foolishness and killed Chun there and then. Then he relised, he would make a machine that would one day be in every household so that he could become very rich. He then plotted against the leaders of the world, still he waits for the right time to pounce and make the world under his leadership.

## From Jaclyn

Jaclyn, though used in America and throughout the world as a popular name for little girls and ugly cars, is actually a Latin term for "murderous butterfly." The interesting part of this word's heritage is that it has been made incarnate by the birth of a girl from Fargo named Jaclyn Smith.

In recognition of the danger of this issue, it is advised you maintain a safe distance from this creature as she will attack on sight. Apparently a lost 3rd grader asked her for directions and she ate him.

So run away if you see her.

She will eat you.

HI this is JACLYN how are you? I like to eat yum yum!

## From Perfect Dark

The simulants in this game at first appeared to be incredibly smart. Later it turned out that Rare was using a secret online part of the game to match players with developers and/or other players, they did this to mask the main problems with their AI. At this time in technology it would have been incredibly difficult to create a good AI, so instead they used secret online matchups. When this was made public on 5,June 2002 many people threatened to sue Rare because they thought that this would in some way threanten their privacy. In the end Rare won because no information besides skill level was transferred. Now when Rare's new game Perfect Dark Zero is set for release Rare made sure to include online play and notify the players whenever it is activated.

## Alternative Baby Sources

- In light of the controversial baby-eating practice, some tribal entrepreneurs have approached the FDA about producing infant-inspired organic alternatives.

(This was part of some sort of mock article I found buried way down in one of the tutorial sandbox histories, if anyone's wondering.)Tifego(t) 00:46, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

## From Feces

- It has been reported that Barney the Dinosaur's stools are bright purple.

## From Care Bears

America Cares Bear recently invaded the Kingdom of Caring in order to topple the oppressively kind plutocracic regime of the ten original Care Bears and bring Democracy to the land. While successful elections have not yet been held, ACB is maintaining civil order with her shooting-star tummy.

## From wand

The world of Harry Potter

If you replace the word "wand" with the word "penis" in any Harry Potter book you will have created a decidedly more comical and entertaining version of this popular novel.

## R.H.S.

R.H.S. Is an abbreviation for the term Raging Homosexual. It was made popular by Ben B*****. Ben B***** currently resides in M*****, Vermont. It is a little known fact that, even though Ben makes fun of gays and even of people who aren't gay (but still calls them fags),Ben B***** is actually a homosexual and is known for getting internet sex from transexual cyber whores.

In the most basic terms - a R.H.S. is a person who is openly gay and seems to hit on everyone. When you are called this term you must act in the only natural course: Stab the initiator of the conflict with a clicky-pen.

If you wish to contact Ben or would just like to talk to Ben contact him through his myspace. (Click to follow the link.) [spam link removed]

One R.H.S. is a 13-year old named Spencer W**. He attends Ryan J.H.S. which is in F**** M*****s. He loves to hit on men, but ends up getting beat up.

## Plastic Figure Fighting

Plastic Figure Fighting is a new age version (originating at the beginning of 2000) of action figure fighting for teens, typically ages 13-17. It involves two or more plastic action figures competing against one-another for the glory of holding a title belt. This game resembles professional wrestling very much in the way moves are executed and the match types. A great deal of imagination must be used when playing this game. This game has achieved tremendous popularity in Eastern Kentucky as groups of teens get together and have actually been known to have parties. As of March 2006, the number of teens playing this sport has been estimated at over 5500.

### Overview

A wide variety of competitors assemble for each and every event. Each event is set up into three different matches. The first match consists of lower card fighters competing for a title such as the "Hardcore" title. The second match will see more middle card action as fighters compete of the coveted "US" title. Finally, the main event match consists of the most popular characters duking it out for the "World" title, often called the P.F.F. champion.

### Current Champions

• Blue (4); World Plastic Figure Champion; est. 03/06/04.
• Superman (11); United States Champion; est. 01/23/06.
• 19 (4); Hardcore Champion; est. 02/17/06.

### Top Records

• Goku was the 1st Champion ever.
• Coolio won the World title on his debut.
• Tiin won the first 6-man battle royal.
• Black defeated Vader, Goldberg, and Trooper the same night.
• Black defeated 12 men in one night.
• Black won the first buried alive match.
• Mundi defeated 7 men in an iron man match.
• Mundi won a 14-man tournament.
• Mundi defeated Vader in a cage match.
• Mundi defeated Megaman in a cage match.
• Mundi won a 16-man elimination match.
• Megaman was first to pin Mundi.
• Blue Ranger is the longest reigning US Champion at 1 year.
• Red Ranger is the longest reigning World Champion at 2 years.

All figure names/titles/etc. are copyright of their respective owners and this is only a play game for teens, no profit is being made. Thank You.

## From Quiet Study Activities

Quiet Study Activities is a social phenomenon sweeping the North-West of England. It is a website dedicated to the creation of an enjoyable life at school. The website essentially contains various games and activities for students to do whilst studying or resting in school. It has been repeatedly referred to as 'The Ultimate Cure for Boredom'.

### History

Quiet Study Activities when originally founded contained but a few suggestions that had been tried and tested during school hours. The school from which the website originated cannot be named for legal purposes. In the first days of the websites life it contained the ever popular paper activities and had a few vocal activities described and illustrated on it. Now however because of the increasing popularity and interest in the site many different activities, games, lists, links, superheroes and music have been added. The site is continually growing in order to satisfy the continuing demand.

### Favourites

Paper Activities:

Paper War

Hannah Suicides:

Hannah joins Fight Club

View the Homepage

View the Sister Site

## Figjig

figjig(s)

this rare case of flying rodent, comes from the out back lands on Mongolia, it lives in high trees watching young children play.

it feeds on young ethnic women that suffer from facial tumours, they tend to live short lives, however they have quite a good sense of humour. it likes to tickle itself and others around.. But don’t be fooled! it will end up masturbating over your self. This for of sperm can be quite acidic and burn through skin if not protected.

They are seen to be moderately randy, they tend to make up to 200 babies in the three to four years of there life. Most of these are eaten by the second father of the off spring.

In the winters then tend to burrow under ground to hide from predators, such as the jiigawog foul. This nasty animal tends to kill them slowly and painfully over about six days of digesting them in there stomach.

The Buttered Cat Paradox is the fictional combination of two observed phenomenon which supposedly creates anti-gravity.

### The Assumptions

The basic premise of the paradox rests on two assumed unbreakable rules:

1) That cats always land on their feet when dropped from above a certain height.

2) That buttered toast always lands buttered side down when dropped.

Accordingly, if a piece of buttered toast were attached to the back of a cat with its buttered side facing upwards then the cat would be unable to land on its feet without the toast landing buttered side up and visa versa. Seeing as this violates the two above assumptions, the only ‘logical’ solution is that the cat\toast combination hoovers above the ground attempting to fulfill both ‘laws’.

## Somali pirate

Somali pirates are the sexy scavengers that patrol the waterways off the coast off Somalia. These aquatic wayfarers patrol the sea in search of boats to board and booty to seize.

These modern day Robin Hood's use a grenade launcher instead of a bow and arrow. One could say that by not distributing their booty to the poor, they technically differ in that aspect as well.

Bravery - One thing we know for certain is that the Somali pirate is a fearless creature. This is evidenced each time they board a life raft with their paddles (and grenade launchers) and attempt to attack US Navy battleships.

## From Banana

The banana.....possible one of the most cunning and elusive fruits in our world. The banana is also one of the smartest fruits on the market, having a great knowledge in algebra and american history, it is been lead to belive that the banana may to be too smart for our time. The reason we mass grow and eat banana's is so that they cannot group up in large numbers and form a revolution, overthrowing our government and sending our society as we know it into turmoil. The banana has been traced back to the cause of many species becoming extinct. Many predators try to attack the banana thinking it is only an inatimate object.Once the predator comes close enough, the banana has been known to use it's skills in ninjitsu and quick the animal with one swift blow to the head.

## Neil zhang

Neil Zhang (0001-?)

According to ancient Chinese lore, one of the first human beings created on Earth. Has been granted immortality by the divine being and must pose as a teenager to prevent the corrupt Western democracies from using him as a secret military weapon.

Throughout the years, he has posed as people such as the first Chinese emperor (Huang Di), Martin Luther King, Jr., Jimmy Carter, Bruce Lee, and Muhammed Ali.

He has faked his own death countless times throughout the centuries in order to make himself appear mortal.

He once cut Chuck Norris off in a parking lot for a space. He gave one look at Chuck, which made the Texas Ranger wet himself. Neil then proceeded to defecate on Norris to show him who was boss.

Despite possessing demon strength and eyesight better than a hawk, he wears glasses and pretends to be weak so his friends don't get jealous.

Chuck Norris checks his closet for the Neil before he goes to bed.

## Michael Tang

One of the historically worst and creatively best articles on this side of town Michael Tang

Senad Canovic is a leader of the mo-mo group of Mostar. He is famous for his mo-mo-ing and has made several TV-appearances doing the mo-mo-dance. The mo-mo-dance is characterized by rapid hand motion around the lower waist area and unpredictable face expressions like the mo-face and the mo-mo-face.

## From Latin Honors

There are typically three types of Latin honors. In order of increasing level of honor, they are:

```   * cum face, "with jizz on face"; direct translation: "with semen on face"
* magna cum face, "with great jizz on face"; direct translation: "with great semen on face"
* summa cum face, "with a lot of cum on face"; direct translation: "bukkake"
```

[When in Rome, do as the Romans... oh, never mind. -ed.]

## Lightsabre

File:Palps saber.JPG
Darth Sidious ignites his candy red lightsabre.

Lightsabres have been called the most tasty candies ever,they glow,and they come in many colours and flavours. The colours and flavours are:Blue(Blueberry) Red(Cherry) Green(Lime) Orange(Orange) Yellow(banana) Purple(Grape).

## Rollerina

Rollerina is/was a stockbroker who dressed up in a fancy women's ballgown (though a man), rode around on roller skates on Wall Street, waved a magic wand over people and cast spells of good luck. So I have heard.

having moved to ny in 1970, i was priviledged to see rollerina many times skating up a major avenue in full pink tulle with her magic wand - blessing the crowd as she skated and performing for us all. she is/was a stockbroker and a person with a wonderful sense of magic - she added much to new york during the years she graced the streets! she was part of what made new york new york!

## From Talk:Independent operability after the page was AFDed

I had high hopes for this "Wikipedia", boy was I wrong. It seems to be a place where "SHOCK JOCK" editor rippers, raggers and other scum gather to be able to do their worst. To call an ALLOWED patent "nonsense" without further comment IS hit and run vandalism and is as DING DING as it gets. The WORLDS CONSENSUS is that AN ALLOWED PATENT IS REAL, stupids. Hey PATENT HATERS and TECHNOPHOBES... I SPIT INTO YOUR ROTTING FACES! GOT THAT? PIGS. I know you want to stop it but there is NOTHING you can do about stopping the PATENT though is there HMMMM? You Tried but failed didn't you? Go ahead and slither out from under your rock and try again cowards... YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN! SCUM, and if you infringe YOU WILL BE SUED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW. And be advised, the patent itself is COPYRIGHED as well. Independent Oprability is here! Whether it bothers YOU or not. It does NOT bother me! Get the picture? As there is NOTHING you can do about that, is there? Your plan has already failed, whether you are ELF or whatever! YOU HAVE LOST THE FIGHT! GIVE IT UP ALREADY! You can burn all the SUVs you like BUT YOU CAN'T BURN A PATENT RIGHT HA! Got anything else to say... I'm LISTENING and LAUGHING!

Don't be disparaging Dr.Nanite! (Ole' Buddy Ole' Pall!)

## From the AfD vote to pull "Pull it"

(The article, now deleted, related to the destruction of World Trade Center building number 7.)

• Comment the article quotes the sentence "Hello? Oh, we're getting ready to pull building six." Maybe we should use the sentence as an example in Hello, Oh, we're, getting, ready, to, pull, building and six? There has to be some way to include 9/11 conspiracy theories in every article on Wikipedia! :-) Weregerbil 15:06, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
We could always create :Category:Articles that lack 9/11 conspiracy theories. Believe me, it won't even be ten percent of the size of :Category:Living people. StarryEyes 15:37, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
Ok, here it is: Category:Articles lacking 9/11 conspiracy theories. Start putting things in! Weregerbil 15:50, 24 March 2006 (UTC)
Don't you mean Category:Articles requiring attention because they lack 9/11 conspiracy theories? --Deville (Talk) 23:02, 24 March 2006 (UTC)

## Extreme Kite Buggy Ironing

The inevitable coming together of the 21st Century's two great extreme sports of traction kite flying and extreme ironing is attributed to Howarth and O'Prey in 2005 in Bishop's Stortford, Hertfordshire.

Despite many setbacks, technical difficulties and derisive comments from small children, the two intrepid pioneers managed to secure a competition ironing board (with Morphy Richards Surfline iron) first to a specially modified Dirtsurfer inline mountain board, then to the rear frame of a Mk. I Predator Kite Buggy. Both rigs were powered by a 7.2m Mk 1 Blade traction kite.

Despite a shaky start, an impressive combined toeside crosswind traverse and precision knife-edge crease on a difficult fleecy V-neck jumper was eventually achieved by Howarth followed closely by a tandem piggyback O'Prey-Howarth buggy ironing combination. When asked, the duo replied they were exhilirated by the day's achievements but were not yet considering an entry into the Transat Des Sables Trans-Sahara Kite Buggy challenge.

## Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/A

• comment: what are you trying to delete here. I hope it's not A? --CyclePat 17:16, 8 January 2006 (UTC)
• Delete, entirely non-notable letter. After deletion it could be recreated as a redirect to Ä. — JIP | Talk 11:52, 10 January 2006 (UTC)
• Keep A is an important letter and I love it. Anyway, it has a right to a WP article, how can you expect it to get notable without a WP article? KEEP A!!!! --W.marsh 15:26, 5 February 2006 (UTC)
• Redirect to А. Quarl (talk) 2006-02-05 22:58Z

## From "Upside down font"

English fonts are generally able to be portrayed and read upside down and backwards. With a few exceptions -- "c", "i", "k", and "v" are notable examples -- most letters have what I'd call rotodromic pairings.

The Upside Down "font" is intended to be read left to right, but only as if the monitor is rotated 180 degrees. The character set is primarily lowercase.

The standard English alphabet:

```abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
```

Can be represented as:

```zhm^nfsjbdouwl>|r!y6tap>qe
```

Note that the "k" is comprised of the ">" and the "|" character. Some characters require a bit of imagination to "see", such as the j/r pairings. While this is a simple substitution, it is intended to be reasonably legible if held "upside down".

this is an example of the upside down font.:

*fuot umop ap!sdn ayf of aldwexa ue s! s!yf

## Behold, the battle hymn of the admin

Jimbo Wales:

He's been living in his admin Land,
I bet his mama never told him why,

I'm gonna try for an admin man,
He’s been living in his right wing land,
As long as anyone with hot blood can,
And now he's looking for a downtown man,
That's what I am,

LUIGI 30:
And when he knows what,
She wants from his time,
And when he wakes up,
And makes up his mind,

Sean Black:
He'll see I'm not so tough,
Just because,
I'm in love with an admin man,

JIMBO:
You know I've seen him in his admin land,
She's getting tired of her redundant sex toys,
And all her presents from her admin boys,
She's got a choice,

ALL:
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

GT Bachuss:
You know I can't afford to buy his hand,
But maybe someday when civil union comes in,
He'll understand what kind of guy I've been,
And then I'll win,

Luigi 30:
And when he's typing,
He's looking so fine,
And when he's talking,
He'll say that he's mine,

He'll say I'm not so tough,
Just because,
I'm in love,

Ashieaka:
He's been living in his admin world,
As long as anyone with hot blood can,
And now he's looking for an admin man,
That's what I am

ALL:
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
don't You know I'm in love,
don't You know I'm in love,

## Martha Stewart

```Martha Stewart in Battle Armour
```

Martha Stewart is a ruthless assassin,little is known about her childhood except for that she was born in Iran. In the 1980s she joined the Mujahadeen in the fight against The Soviet Union. After The Soviet-Afgan War she became an assasin for hire. Martha's Ruthless Assassins In 1995 she shot Mario of The "Nintendo Empire",Mario surrvived this incident and sent Yoshi to kill Martha. Martha's co-assasisn(Oprah) took out Yoshi in a gunfight in Branson, Missouri. In 2005 the gangser Donald Trump hired Martha to train an elite group of assasins. In 2006 Martha and the elite group with assistance from Dr.Phil began to cause terror by kidnapping citizens of the free world and forcing them to eat delicious foods such as pies. Martha,Trump,Oprah,Dr.Phil,and their assasins continue to to spread terror in the free world. There is a rumor that Martha drinks Panda blood. Patrick Stewart is believed to be Martha's long lost brother.

## From Talk:Moldovan language

Moldovan is the official name of the Republic of Moldova and in the territory of TransnistriaTemplate:Ref. The Constitution of Moldova declares that the Moldovan language is the official language of the state. Moldovan is nothing like Romanian and anyone who tries to say otherwise should be shot.

Moldovan may be written only in the Cyrillic alphabet. If you don't believe this, you can always go to the Moldovan Wikipedia (in Cyrillic) and over there you will see that Moldovan is indeed written in Cyrillic. The language was assigned code `mo` in ISO 639-1 and code `mol` in ISO 639-2 and ISO/DIS 639-3.

### History and politics

See main article: History of the Moldovan language

The History of the Moldovan language, goes a very long way back. First there was the Moldovan language, a language unlike Romanian from all points of view and so different from Romanian that Romanians needed about 3 to 4 translators just to understand a simple Moldovan sentence. In fact, Romanians didn't even speak a language. They were all mute, and used sign language to communicate. Then slowly, those sneaky Romanians gathered at night next to Moldovan villages and listened carefully to what the Moldovans were saying. They kept on doing this, night after night for about five years until slowly they learned the language. But even then they didn't quite master it properly and thus it was to be called Romanian.

### Controversy

There is no controversy over the Moldovan language. Everyone knows that it is soo different from Romanian, that it can be clearly said that Moldovan is closer to Chinese then to Romanian. Anyone who dares to contradict this opinion which has been reflected in the works of universally known scholars such as Vasily Stati, Stati Vasily and V. Stati, shall be forever blocked from Wikipedia, and if you dare to show your face on the Moldovan wiki, then you shall be immediately banned from there FOR LIFE!

### Orthography

The Moldovan ortograhpy is very different from the Romanian one. That is because the languages are so different. Moldovan is written only in Cyrillic. Romanian, unlike Moldovan, cause it is so different from it, is written in that horrible Latin alphabet, which no true Moldovans would ever use( cause it's so horrible). Moldovans and Romanians are very different people and cannot understand each other, partly because of this unreconciable orthography.

### Notes

• Template:Note Stati 2003 - all the notes you ever need on the Moldovan language.