UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/Holy Bad Jokes, Batman! It's Other Deleted Nonsense!
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- 1 From Wikipedia:Requests for adminship/Rfc1394
- 2 From Talk:Kayfabe
- 3 From Toilet paper
- 4 Donkonio of Lengash
- 5 Arch window
- 6 Gavilan
- 7 From Uroinvixi
- 8 See also
- 9 From Neil McKissock
- 10 Hurricane Katrina is NOT a teapot.
- 11 Template:Hot Jewish Actress-stub
- 12 From "Eqyptians"
- 13 From Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten
- 14 From Grip, Norway
- 15 The Train shed the Sydney Home Of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends
- 16 From Wormphlegm
- 17 From George W. Bush
- 18 From History
- 19 From Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga
- 20 From Talk:The Glass Menagerie
- 21 From India (on cricket)
- 22 From Transclusion
- 23 From Talk:Capacitor
- 24 Church of American Pie
- 25 From Ariel Sharon
- 26 From Fearne Cotton
- 27 Billie Joe Armstrong
- 28 Courtney Love
- 29 Karjeflarnsworthykopf
- 30 Zombie monkey
- 31 Country Music Kills Brain Cells
- 32 From Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Wikipedians against censorship (!)
- 33 Bucks County Playhouse
- 34 From Wikipedia:Reference desk/Science
- 35 Ridiculi
- 36 Watch
- 37 From September 17
- 38 From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Log/2005 September 18
- 39 BottiPedia
- 40 Glenn Kelly
- 41 From Fat Bitch Protector
- 42 Stella Vine
- 43 Eel life history
- 44 Randomness-The Disease
- 45 Penis Van Lesbian
- 46 Divisions of Islam
- 47 From Mario
- 48 From The Sandbox (not the experiment place)
- 49 widgin
- 50 Template:Anti-stub
- 51 Help desk
- 52 From List of peaceful wars
- 53 From WCQ
- 54 User:Rabbit!
- 55 From Dave Benson Phillips
- 56 Detroit Landmarks & Tourist Attractions
- 57 From Wikipedia:Votes for deletion
- 58 Back of the School Bus
- 59 From Careers
- 60 From 2 (number), France
- 61 From Chuck E. Cheese's
- 62 Fiat Multipla
- 63 From Appleitis
- 64 From Wikipedia:Assume Bad Faith
- 65 From George W. Bush
- 66 From Shigeru Miyamoto
- 67 From Wikipedia:Reference desk
- 68 From Brick
- 69 From How to Make A PBJ
- 70 Gentelmans Bike Derby
- 71 Bum darts
- 72 Microcontent
- 73 The Adventures of T-Rex
- 74 Vandalism from American revolution
- 75 From IKEA
- 76 From End of civilization
- 77 From Mutulu
- 78 From AP Math
- 79 Bonzai Buddy
- 80 From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Trigger and Jim
- 81 From "Gorilla"
- 82 TWC Invaders
- 83 From the Reference desk:
- 84 The Jim Nabors Gay Monkey Hour
- 85 From Unilluminati
- 86 From Reference Desk/Miscellaneous
- 87 From Round Robin sex act
- 88 Surviving Bears
- 89 Jibba jabba
- 90 Just not funny
- 91 Removed from page about the triforce
- 92 From Alphonse W. Turkeyman
- 93 The Dinosaurs from Saint Louis, Missouri 1960's-1980's
- 94 Facts (from Bert McCracken)
- 95 Adversary process
- 96 Mandira Bedi
- 97 Polarbearliver
- 98 Trees....and some other stuff
- 99 From Christopher Columbus
- 100 Rosa Shafigulina
- 101 War of 1812
- 102 Law 4000
Questions for the candidate
A few generic questions to provide guidance for voters:
- 1. What sysop chores, if any, would you anticipate helping with? (Please read the page about administrators and the administrators' reading list.)
- A. Well, there's bound to be a lot of janitorial work that needs to be done that can't merely be done by ordinary users and I think I might be able to help.
- 2. Of your articles or contributions to Wikipedia, are there any about which you are particularly pleased, and why?
- A. Can't really think of any off hand. I mean, I've done more than 2,500
editsacts of unmitigated vandalism and editeddamaged more than 2,000 pages over the more than 20 months that I've had an account hereinfested this place, so it's hard to say. Some pages I've felt I've done more to improveruin than others. What I am most proud of wasn't on Wikipedia, it was when I thought of putting a quick index on the front page of Wiktionarywas out robbing gas stations. I came to realize that a dictionary without a means to go to the indexbathroom was sorely lacking in functionalityclean underwear. (Wikipedia has fairly good reference pointstoilet facilities on its front page to find things; this was something Wiktionary lacked.) Perhaps if I have to pick at least one article I've written on Wikipedia, it's the one on the book Down to a Sunless Seawriting ransom notes for profit although the big thing is, I don't know if anyone has ever read the articlepaid up; if one writes a really good articleextortion letter but nobody reads it it was ayou then have to waste them.
- A. Can't really think of any off hand. I mean, I've done more than 2,500
- 3. Have you been in any conflicts over editing in the past or do you feel other users have caused you stress? How have you dealt with it and how will you deal with it in the future?
Walk awayOrder them to stop, then if that doesn't work, have them killed. This is an encyclopedia, not the Gaza StripLas Vegas strip (and that is another example of another really stupid fight; I can't see the point of why so many people are fighting over a really crummy piece of probably worthless desert). It's not worth fighting turf battles. I've had disagreements with other users, usually I just ask them nicely and if that doesn't work I quit for a while on that issue until I can put out a contract on them and come back later after they're dead, and often a consensus can be reached because they're not around to complain any more.
OMG RASSLIN AINT FAKE I CANT BELEIVE THIS WIKI ITS SAYIN RASSLIN IS FAKE I THINK
From Toilet paper
- Early 2000s: In the wake of the September 11th Attacks, novelty toilet papers started getting printed with images of Osama Bin Laden and sold from many websites, online, and offline venues everywhere (at least in the United States).
[Obviously, the U.S. are a perfectly appropriate approximation for "everywhere" --Ed.]
Donkonio of Lengash
Donkonio Of Lengash lived over 10,000,000 years ago in the small village of Lengash. He was known as an insane man, as he walked around his small village in a clown suit and large spectacles. He name originated from the size of his teeth, which were bigger than most donkey's. When he was about 30 years old, a man came to town named Chituhaztulananmizzaprogohandgoiutachruebblyfah. This newcomer, who was well over 65, took a liking to Donkonio and the two formed a strong bond of friendship. However, this was at the time when the evil Charleyhorse kingdom ruled over all of Europe, and after a year of friendship between the two, the Charleyhorse troops invaded Lengash and killed Chituhaztulananmizzaprogohandgoiutachreubblyfah, as well as 6 others. In a wild rage, Donkonio wore the guy with the long name's old clothes, and left Lengash in a huff. He wandered the Great European Outback for decades, teaching frogs and people alike the message of his life: "Always hate the Charleyhorses". Almost 30 years after he first set out on this mission, he found a wrecked car lying on Oolororororooooororroooo, Europe's biggest Plahtoe. He fixed the car with the help of his newly found smart-aleck Sidekick, a crocodile-wrangling Chinaman named Ji Burr Ish. They spray-painted outrageous goats on the car, and they drove around the Outback blaring hip-hop out the windows. When Donkonio was 72, the Charleyhorses finally caught him and put him on trial for playing obnoxious music, covering means of transportation with vulgar artwork, and making a sidekick of a man declared Legally Weird. After a year of boring courtroom sesssions, D. Fence Attorney, a hobo living in the Judge's pulpit put a gun to the judge's head and insisted that Donkonio go free, because he was so sick of hearing mind-numbing court sessions. He went free, and spent the rest of his days doing what he always did. He died at the ripe (a little too ripe, some say) old age of 100, and Ji Burr Ish, his trusty sidekick, dedicated a donkey farm to his name. The end.
Anglo-Saxon Arch Windows
This is the mathematical formula for the Anglo-Saxon Arch Windows. It is how they are made.
What? I thought one plus one equaled window.
- Gavilan is a species of left wing American focused solely on doom and gloom in the world. Gavilan often attempts to use illogical conclusions and logical fallacies to promote a sense of authority in what are most often cut and paste talking points from moveon.org memos.
- Gavilan is easily identified by noting how often Bush and "neo-cons" are at blame for every fault in the world from solar-flares to hurricanes to a butterfly being squished undefoot by an aboriganee in Australia.
Uroinvixi is a Paraphilia which primarily consists of the desire to watch a female Urinate on or a desire for the female herself to urinate on creatures such as Insects, Mammals and Reptiles. Inanimate objects may also be stimuli (i.e. Stuffed animals). Image:Uroinvixi.JPG on a Stuffed animal; a common example of Uroinvixi.]] This Sexual fetish is closely linked to Urolagnia which is a general sexual attraction to urine. However, unlike Urolagnia, this fetish focuses more on the humiliation of the target object.
Typically the female will Urinate on the creature from an overhead position and easily dominates the creature. She may also force the creature to ingest her urine or may submerse the creature in a container saturated with her Urine.
Arguably, uroinvixi is a form of Watersports, a Euphemism. Many times in BDSM scenes males may be forced to drink the urine the female ejects. This specific act may be considered uroinvixi. Additionally uroinvixi occasionally appears in Crush films where the woman further humiliates the creature by crushing it with her feet either barefoot or in high heels before or after she urinates on it (see: Crush fetish).
Participants are urged to heed warning as the high Salt content of Urine may be harmful to many creatures such as Snails even though they don't ingest the urine. Additionally, use caution when forcing smaller Mammals to drink urine. Although urine is relatively sterile and the high Salt content is usually easily digestible by human adults it may be too high for smaller creatures or it may drown the creature itself.
Uroinvixi is most popular among Heterosexual couples wherein the man is attracted to the woman's superiority over the target object. The creature or object may be urinated on before, during or after Sexual intercourse.
From Neil McKissock
please am intrested in playing for your junior team ,am soonest nathaniel from nigeria.
Hurricane Katrina is NOT a teapot.
found as the only text in Hurricane Katrina: I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout. ...which was then changed to... I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout. What I think the person who wrote that grossly misunderestimated Katrina. ~GMH 14:52, 9 September 2005 (UTC)
- A teapot that pours enough water to destroy New Orleans.SYSS Mouse 22:22, 9 September 2005 (UTC)
Template:Hot Jewish Actress-stub
|Jelly or Jam:|
- Peanut Butter
- Although the title seems to imply a certain simplicity pertaining to its ingredients, peanut butter is not what it first appears to be. Click on Peanut Butter to find out more about it.
- This ingredient is found in most grocery stores and some liquor stores, but most people carry it around the house so worst comes to worst you can knock on your neighbour's door.
- Jelly or Jam
- More commonly known as Jelly, this sweet preservative can be found in grandmas fridge, behind the Metamucil.
- Some say that the Jelly is the preferred ingredient, while Peanut Butter enthusiasts claim otherwise.
- The bread is the most essential part of the sandwich. Usually wrapped in an assortment of plastic bags, this tasty ingredient is worth the ever increasing price. Grocery stores as well as Bread baskets are likely candidates for its location.
The difficult and time consuming process is spelled out below
Very important that this is your fist step
- Let's start by taking the bread out of its package and placing two separate slices on a flat counter top or whatever is handy.
- Be careful to re-package the remaining bread slices by using the twist-tie provided and to avoid the spin and tuck manuver of the average joe.
- Toasting the Bread is thought to be a little taboo as far as PBJs go. However it is not unheard of.
- Should you want any other ingredients on your sandwich now is the time to apply. All improvizational sandwich making is at the consumers discretion.
The Jelly or Jam
just remember, you can never have too much Jelly
- The next steps are the hardest especially for the first time PBJ makers.
- Open your jar of Jelly or Jam and place the lid on the counter.
- hold a clean knife (handle end preferably) and use a scooping motion to grab the Jelly and place it on one of the two slices of bread.
- for more advanced users: tip the jar as if pouring the jelly onto the Bread.
- CAUTION: This requires an enourmous amount of dexterity and muscle control do not attempt unsupervised
- This may become a manditory step should you be running low on Jelly.
- remember to close the lid
- warning: failure to close lid may result in jam to Wine-like fermentation process
The Peanut Butter
one commonly over looked step that needs careful consideration
- Follow the lid process for the previous Jelly step. The steps should be identical in most scenarios anyway.
- Spread the Peanut Butter onto the remaining slice of bread. Do not be afraid of too much Peanut Butter, it is very hard to put too much on a single slice of Bread.
Putting it all together
Although not mentioned in the OAC process, it is good that you don't overlook this step
- take the two slices of bread with the separate ingredients on each one, and slide them so that they are side by side.
- with a quick motion (the amount of jelly used dictates how quick you really need to be) slap the two slices of bread together so that the peanut butter and Jelly are on the inside of the sandwich.
- as your mom will surely know, some children dislike the crust of the bread. in most cases it wouldn't be necessary, but to the extremly picky person you may use a sharp blade to carefully cut along the edges of the sandwich removing the crust.
- Bagging a sandwich can also be difficult if you do not have the right kind of bag. if you are one of the many troubled individuals with the bag that simply has a flap on one side and a pocket on the other listen closely.
- Place the sandwich inside the bag
- Tuck the extra flap inside the bag
- Inside out the pocket over the opening of the bag
- if you cannot understand these directions it might be wise to ivest in some ziplock bags
Warning be sure to follow these precautions while enjoying your PBJ
- Open your mouth wide
- Opening wide helps prevent a messy Face
- Be sure to have a Napkin handy
- failure to follow precaution 1, or various uncontrollable variables may result in a messy face
- Be absolutely certain that you have plenty of milk
- got milk? duh.
PB & J Application Methods
- This is the secret formula of my great great grandfather.
- Warning: Bodily harm may result
Bike derby From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A bike derby is a contest, the goal of which is to be the last person still riding their bike.
Bike derbies often involve, roughly in order of popularity:
drinking alcoholic beverages an arena defined by the spectators' bodies audience participation personal injury property damage, primarily to contestants' bikes cheap bikes** so called better bikes with gentlemen’s derby costumes
The gentlemen’s bike derby is everything the above is, but you cannot by any means ever take your hands off your handle bars or feet off the pedals. You may only knock people over by nudging them with your bike or body.
No T boning because often times this derby has the nice bikes, not the ghetto bikes.
Bum Darts is a game. What you need is a person, a cup, quarter, and a place to put the cup and draw about a yard circle around it and place with the cup in the center. The person pinches the quarter between their bum cheeks outside of the circle. The person travels to the center of the circle and tries to deposit the quarter into the cup. If a person does so they are a winner. If not a winner you can try again if your fellow players cheer you on and cheer "re-do". If they do not cheer re-do you can go back what you were doing around the circle again.
There is no score kept. This game is for the moment. It is fun to watch your fellow human beings attempt to pinch a quarter in their butt cheeks and drop it into a cup.
It is recommended to be around a campfire, drink beer, and possibly do a lot of mountain biking previously.
- (Submitter's note: It seems this is, in fact, an actual party game, with several references available by Google, and probably should not be deleted. I'm leaving this entry here anyway.)
Microcontent is a word composed of two parts (Micro) means very small and (content). It is claimed that it is a buzzword associated with Web2.0.
The adventures of T-rex was a show in the Mid- nineties commonly associated with penises. Many jokes on the show were over the heads of children and dealt with sexual inuendos. On of them include the famous "Whats long, hard and full of semen." The answer of course was a submarine, but many adult became furious with the show. It was soon canceled due to exesive penis and vagina jokes. The last episode was a live episode where every line was "Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis." It was a horrible show and no re-runs have ever been shown.
Vandalism from American revolution
you guys are idiots maybe you should fix this shit so people wont fuck up ur site learn a bit form this expeirience.... LoL LMAO u guys are lame big ass fancy website but u cant even take care of the damn thing shame on YoU!
From End of civilization
- Quantum energy. In the search for new quantum particles, scientists accidentally destroy the universe.
- Not necessarily a joke. There was an experiment to create strange matter plasma, IIRC, or something like that some years ago, and some people claimed to fear that could create a black hole swallowing the Earth.--Army1987 15:27, 5 October 2005 (UTC)
Mutulu was a drug dealer in South Los Angeles. Most often known for his "ounce for a dolla" policy, he is also sometimes known as Tupac Shakur's "mothers baby daddy."
APorgian Theorem of Mathematic Study
This form of mathematics was developed in late 2005, when two unnamed scientists discovered this awesome discovery.
The name originates from a lesser known area of mathematics, Hiosud, originally from Korea.
This formula can solve all problems, simply plug in theta.
Bonzai Buddy is a desktop companion for your computer. It is a free downloadable program that looks like a purple monkey and is supposed to help you with internet searches. It contains various actions and spoken phrases as well. However, the program is made by Spyware and makes your computer vulnerable to such things as spam, viruses and information theft.Once downloaded, a program must be downloaded from Spyware to have it removed. Another program to have the previous one removed. It has been known to have been said that "downloading Bonzai Buddy is like sleeping with a whore and not using protection, there's a whole lot of things that are going to go wrong."
Emphasis has been added. I didn't delete the article, because it's accurate and I can't write anything better myself.--Anoma lee 09:40, 1 October 2005 (UTC)
The result of the debate was DELETE. Although the debate is hard to judge, there would appear to be a weakish consensus that the article is not telling the whole truth in some parts. -Splashtalk 01:24, 1 October 2005 (UTC)
Hoax. Hoax hoax hoax hoax hoax hoax hoax hoax hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooax. Did I mention hoax? From details such as the precise minute of the band's formation, to the fact that their "countless classic albums" reached the heady heights of #32 on the Liechtenstein charts, to their controversial Albania tour during which they became addicted to heroin and popsicles, there is no doubt whatsoever. Hoax. Kill them with fire - oh, and their article too. DS 16:17, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- Delete - I believe this is a hoax, despite what DS says. --Outlander 16:26, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- Delete don't listen to DS and Outlander. Careful research reveals that this is actually a hoax. Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 16:55, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- As a founding member of Trigger and Jim, I'm highly offended by your-- oh, who am I fooling? Delete. Friday (talk) 18:19, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- Delete. Are you trying to say none of you remember the seminal Acid House Rock album I'm Just a Wikihoax by Trigger and Jim?--Isotope23 18:29, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- Strongly disagree with all of the above. Careful analysis has led me to conclude that the article is, in fact, a completely sincere, genuine and valuable hoax. Delete. TheMadBaron 19:32, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- All previous voters are sockpuppets and extreme deletionists. All contrafactual bands are necessary for comprehensive coverage in a truly great encyclopedia. My computer program verifes that this article is, despite their wild charges, in fact a valid, real hoax. Delete. Barno 20:06, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
Keep!- oops, typo. Delete! Not a hoax, tho, just a joke. A hoax would try harder. -- BDAbramson talk 20:52, 21 September 2005 (UTC)
- Ah, but a joke would be funnier. No, this is definitely more hocular than jocular. TheMadBaron 10:00, 22 September 2005 (UTC)
- Hoax 100 Percent Delete --Aranda56 01:54, 22 September 2005 (UTC)
- Note - if you guys think this is a hoax I wish you would just say it straight out and stop beating around the bush. --Outlander 13:55, 22 September 2005 (UTC)
- Delete. Guys, really, look into your research- I've been doing minutes upon minutes of painstaking research at my iBook, and I have concluded with 100% confidence that this is, indeed, a pure hoax. You may all sleep sound tonight. --WikiFanaticTalk Contribs 23:47, 23 September 2005 (CDT)
- Delete. Lacks references, and I harbor the suspicion that some of the content might be of a somewhat dubious nature, to be honest. -- grm wnr 04:50, 24 September 2005 (UTC)
The following observations were made by a team led by Thomas Breuer of the Wildlife Conservation Society in September 2005. Gorillas are now known to use Tools in the wild. A female gorilla in the Nouabalé-Ndoki National Park in the Republic of Congo was recorded using a stick to gauge the depth of water whilst crossing a Swamp. A second female was seen using a tree stump as a bridge and also as a support whilst fishing in the swamp. A third, sex unknown, was seen wearing baggy jeans and listening to hip-hop music. This means that all of the Great apes are now known to use tools. |http://biology.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request=get-document&doi=10.1371/journal.pbio.0030380].
Remember such incidents as the suing of Bob Dole, the bombing of canada, and the great mexican gold rush of 1111? Well, ya know who was behind all of those? the TWC invaders. weve been around for 100 kajillion years, and we got a killamanjaro on your children! were behind grand theft auto! were behind child pornography!And you know those buttons on your remote that seemingly do absolutely nothing? they do do something! and we know what they do! muahahahahah! muahahahahah!Youll eat our food, drink our drinks, and when your done with life, youll sleep in our coffins! muahahah! well slowly do absolutely nothing!and noone will remember! email me at [email protected],[email protected], or [email protected], were all the same person.
From the Reference desk:
Wilfred Owen's social & sexual literary environment London 1915-1918
Owen met Harold Monro, became embroiled in the London literary scene and came into contact with the literary circle/clubs/homosexual scene. Owen's reading was eclectic and appears coloured by writers who themselves were homosexual. Any light shed would be gratefully received. Barry Matthews
Our article on Wilfred Owen ecplores this in some depth including his relationship with Vidal Sassoon. It would also be worth checking out the references at the bottom of the Wilfred Owen article for more information. Capitalistroadster 11:50, 26 September 2005 (UTC)
- I think you meant Siegfried Sassoon there, a slight difference! The first studies on Owen's sexuality were done in 1965, published as Owen agonistes (searching on that might be helpful). In addition, he spent most of 1915-18 in the Army, and '17-18 at Craiglockhart War Hospital and Scarborough, not London.. Shimgray | Talk | 12:03, 26 September 2005 (UTC)
- Oops. Shimgray, thanks for pointing that out. Capitalistroadster 12:41, 26 September 2005 (UTC)
The Jim Nabors Gay Monkey Hour
The Jim Nabors Gay Monkey Hour: A television program hosted by Jim Nabors during the second world war. Nabors would invite various artists onto the show to draw caricatures of Sammy Davis Jr and Colonel Sanders. Afterward, it was common for Nabors to take the entire cast and crew out for Fat's Domino Sandwiches at Katz's deli, across the street from people who were playing bagpipes.
The Unilluminati is the name of a secret group that "turn off lights and scare people."
From Reference Desk/Miscellaneous
death on your birthday
What is the term for someone who dies on the same date they were born, only different year? Deceased.
From Round Robin sex act
Round Robin is a term for a sexual act between two partners. One partner lays onto the ground, back down. The standing partner then kneels down and inserts his penis into the other partner's mouth. He also puts his testicles onto the laying partner's nose, in which that person inhales the scrotum skin into his nostrils. The kneeling partner then uses both of his hands to pinch the laying partner's nipples, and after this, the laying partner lifts their legs up into the air and locks their feet around the kneeling partner's neck. Then, they roll in a ball, like a human hamster wheel. It is very common in France.
- That is hilarious. --WindFish
This hilariously illustrated guide is preserved here.
That super-fly yikka-yakka we all be speakin'. It's not for alls ya'll, but when you speaks da jibba jabba, you know it.
Just not funny
moved from Talk:capacitor Seen on electronics-forum.info
Date: 15 Nov 2004 23:57:00 From: hoo-dair hoo-dat Subject: Capassitor in series? Sum 1 tellin me to put passitor in series, whada ye meen series, world series.
Removed from page about the triforce
It has sometimes been jokingly theorized that the Triforce is Duct tape, WD-40, and Febreze. It is uncertain which one relates to which part of the Triforce, but one theory places Duct tape as the Magic that holds things together, WD-40 as the Wisdom to keep things working, and Febreze as the Courage to face things that nobody should ever have to face, such as Dirty diapers.
From Alphonse W. Turkeyman
Turkeyman was born March 4, 1967 in Sacramento, California to Lance "Crazy" Turkeyman and Aphrodite Alexis Anastasia Caramello. He attended private boarding schools in Germany and Switzerland before returning to the United States in 1985 to attend Yale University. A trip to Oakham, Massachusetts in early 1985, however, sidetracked his plans to attend Yale when he accidentally hit an American Bald Eagle with his 1979 Pontiac.
His '79 Pontiac destroyed, Turkeyman was trapped in a wooded area of Oakham for days waiting for the next motorcar to come along. To survive, Turkeyman began gnawing away at the bald eagle, finding its meat tasty. He used this experience to create a minor empire, cornering the market on bald eagle tacos.
Since then, Turkeyman was on the fast-track to success until a fatal heart attack in the rotunda of the US Capitol struck him down. Commented CNN:
WORLD MOURNS TURKEYMAN
"The Planet of the Apes"]], playing "Overgrown Chimp #4"
- 2003: obtained a souvenir rock from New Hampshire's Old Man of the Mountain. Days later, the rock formation collapsed.
- 2003: threw NH rock in the direction of George W. Bush while he was riding his Segway Scooter in Kennebunkport, ME
- 2004: came in third in the United States Presidential Election, scoring 27 votes.
- 2004: narrated a tour video for Bridgewater State College.
- 2005: drops dead of apparent heart attack at the US Capitol on the 20th anniversary of Bald Eagle Meat Tacos.
The Dinosaurs from Saint Louis, Missouri 1960's-1980's
The earliest punk band from Saint Louis, Missouri 1969-1980. Most Saint Louis, Missouri punks over the age of 45 will have no problem remembering this good rockin bad.ONE OF THE EARLIEST PUNK ROCK BANDS IN THE SAINT LOUIS MISSOURI AREA WHO TO THIS DATE HAVE NOT BEEN GIVEN THE PROPER RESPECT AND CREDIT FOR BEING MIDWESTERN ARTIST WHO BROUGHT THIS GENRE OF MUSIC TO THE MIDWEST.
And from the talk page:
I DISAGREE WITH IT BECAUSE ALMOST ALL THE ARTIST LISTED ON THE PUNK PAGE ARE FROM THE EAST OR WEST COAST OR ENGLAND AND HALF OF THEM WERE NOT EVEN BORN WHEN THE DINOSAURS STARTED TO PLAY IN THE MIDWEST JUST BY THE FACT THAT THEY DO NOT KNOW WHO THE DINOSAURS ARE PROVES THEY DO NOT KNOW THEIR PUNK HISTORY AND OBVIOUSLY COULD CARELESS ABOUT GETTING THE EARLY BANDS AS ACCURATE AND INCLUSIVE AS POSSIBLE AS IF THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA AND PRESS HAS NOT DONE A GOOD ENOUGH JOB OF THIS ALREADY. I WILL BUILD MY OWN DINOSAURS SITE AND INFORM THE WORLD ON MY OWN SOMEBODY SHOULD GIVE THESE MIDWESTERN TRAILBLAZERS THE CREDIT AND RESPECT THEY HAVE LONG EARNED AND DESERVED!
LIBBY HODGES WWW.EXODUSFROMTHEDENOFDEMONS7.COM
Facts (from Bert McCracken)
- Is Bisexual
- Bert is a vegetarian.
- Claims Michael Jackson as his first and greatest musical influence.
- Other singers that have influenced him are, Robert Smith, Madonna, Robert Plant, Dennis Lyxzén and Walter Schreifels.
- Bert's parents kicked him out of the house because he rebelled against his Mormon upbringing.
*Was a classmate with Quinn at high school and both had the same choir class, before they dropped out.
- By age 17 he was addicted to Crystal meth. However, he was able to overcome it with his bandmates' support. Addiction continued to follow him. According to an interview, he used to drink up to 2 bottles of Jack Daniels daily. Constant touring and alcoholism didn't mix well and while touring for The Used's self titled album, he collapsed. After consulting several doctors he was diagnosed with acute pancreatitis, a severe inflammation of the pancreas caused by autodigestion of pancreatic tissue by its own enzymes. The condition most often stems from alcohol abuse or gallstones. Currently, Bert is now living a healthy lifestyle.
- Used to date Kelly Osbourne in the early 2003's; later broke up with her over the phone on Valentine's Day
- Stands at about 5' 7" (1.70 m)
- Bert can also play thre trumpet and Piano, and plays the piano on some of The Used's songs.
- McCracken is good friends with My Chemical Romance lead singer Gerard Way, and they have recorded several songs together, including "Under Pressure" song which they jointly used proceeds from to benefit tsunami survivors. In the song "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" by My Chemical Romance, Bert does the backup vocals.
- Ex-girlfriend Kate died from a drug overdose on July 4, 2004; she was carrying Bert's child. "Hard To Say" was written with her in mind.
- Dedicated the song "All That I've Got" to his dog, David Bowie, when it was run over by a truck.
- Good friends with Watik-853 band lead singer Jenard Saren.
- Has 3 little sisters and 1 little brother.
- Took gymnastics for seven years.
*He's an awseome singer
*He Love Old Ladies
Personal comment: As we all know, the latter 2003s included the Norman Conquest of England and The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Thorns Among Our Leaves 23:21, 4 October 2005 (UTC)
The adversary process is a legal matter in which the litigant must file a writ of "i'm a fuckin retard" to no one cause a court just takes rule of law an indicates how it would rule on the issue if it were brought before the court. Advisory opinions are rarely asked for but courts don't care, they tell you how you feel then you make them soup. It is never done at the federal level but states say if you want something to cry about they'll give it to you. They will bury you then tell you how they'd rule if you took them to court for it. And further more I'll bury you you wouldn't have got the fuckin adversary opinion if the court didn't think you were so stupid. They know you got it wrong before you did. They'll smack you. I'll bury you, and your dad's purse is gay.
Mandira Bedi is an indian actress who is known for her cleavage reavealing blouses which she wore as a TV anchor in the Cricket World Cup of 2003. She has a good waist and her navel is quite deep
the polarbear liver can give you AIDS and vitamin A overdises. It contains very much vitamin A. once upon a time a eskimo died by this horrible bears. So please dom eat this liver.
Brought to you by the "Just Say No To Polarbearliver Political Action Committee. Call 800-RAW-COCAINE to learn more!
There's a grain of truth in this
Trees....and some other stuff
Found on the Disscussion page for Trees Trees Are cool And yes I am a Freaken hippy! Go Trees! Hi My name is Bob and you can do nothing while I listen to Michel Jackson(When He was BLACK!!!)Thriler!Emerald Valley Track ClubThis Track Club Is the Best! If your live in eugene Or JOIN!!!
From Christopher Columbus
188.8.131.52 has noted that: 'It has been suggested that this might have been because he was hiding something—an event in his origin or history that he deliberately kept a secret. opera whinfrey is the man.' Who wrote that Opera!
Rosa Shafigulina - a semi-mythological character from a Soviet textbook of English. The text is given below:
THE MOST INSPIRING LETTER EVER WRITTEN TO WINSTON
After John Pittman
The following text is based on an article published in the Daily Worker. Its author, John Pittman, met Henry Winston, one of the leaders of the American Communist Party on his visit to the Soviet Union.
One day recently the usual daily mail for a patient in a Soviet sanatorium contained a letter that was to attract world attention. The patient is Henry Winston, the heroic American Communist leader who became blind un United States prison as a result of brutal neglect and mistreatment by the prison authorities. Winston was imprisoned during the McCarthy terror against the American people. After his release he came to the Soviet Union for treatment and rest. He has received hundreds of letters from Soviet citizens and each day people from various parts od the USSR send him wishes for health and happiness. The letter which was to be publicized around the world was, in Winston's own words, "the most inspiring letter ever written" to him. It was written by a young girl of twenty, Rosa Shafigulina, a student of the foreign languages department of the Teacher Training Institute of Tomsk, a Siberian city. It was short, direct, simple. It said: "You are a real Communist, and I am a simple Soviet girl, a student. I am living for the people and therefore I offer you my eyes. I am young and my eyes can see beautifully. You need them for your forthcoming struggles and so you must consent. Please answer and I shall come wherever you may be." And a postscript said: "Please believe I shall not be afraid of the operation." Understandably, it took some time for Winston to answer Rosa Shafigulina. He says it was difficult to find an answer. Try, reader, to imagine yourself in Winston's place. "Let me confess that your offer made me weep," he finally told her. "I am happy to say I cannot accept it. My problem is not eyes but a nerve atrophy. I am deeply honoured to write to one of the vanguard fighters of today and tomorrow, a young girl of twenty, who is strong and conscious of her mission in life, who has exhibited such strength of character in a physical and mental sense. This means that in order for you to be able to play your role in the future you must remain as you are now. Remember that your eyes shine much clearer than two jewels in any diadem. They must remain so." Who is the Rosa Shafigulina who calls herself a "simple Soviet girl", but whose simple act brought tears to the eyes of veteran battle-steeled American communist leader. Winston has never seen her, perhaps, in future may only shake her hand, but this characterization of her proved correct. "Her act, he said, which can only be created under the banners of victorious socialism is a typical example of the spirit of the Soviet youth..." The "Pravda" correspondents who visited Tomsk to meet Rosa Shafigulina wrote that they encountered many young girls on their way to Rosa's house in Kaluzhskaya Street, any one of whom might have been the young letter writer. Rosa's life led through kindergarten, school, the young Pioneer organization and the Young Communist League to the Teacher Training Institute. How many Rosa Shafigulinas are there in the Soviet Union? Millions and millions. Of course, the particular conjuncture of character which brought Rosa Shafigulina into international prominence is rare. Likewise with Juri Gagarin and German Titov; the first flight by man into outer space can only happen once, the first multiple-orbiting of the earth in the state of weightlessness can only be recorded once. But the same qualities which inspired the exploits of the cosmonauts, which moved Rosa to offer her eyes to Henry Winston, are to be found in many millions of Soviet young people. Those who speak of the "new Soviet man" do not exaggerate.
War of 1812
from the War of 1812 article on October 6, 2005:
The War of 1812 was fought by drunken sailors for no good reason. The Untied States, still in its adolescence as a nation, felt that it wasn’t being taken seriously by other nations. Forced to be home by 10:00 p.m., never allowed to watch R-rated movies, and subject to French and British shipping embargoes, America decided that the only way to preserve national honor was to start and win a war.
Lacking a large standing army and short on revenue, they picked an opportune moment and an easy target. With the British distracted by a real war against Napoleon (short-dudes like big hats), America decided to take over Canada. Obviously, they did this without thinking about what they would do with Canada once they took it over.
War began on June 18, 1812 following the House and Senate passing legislation to declare war, President James Madison signing the legislation and President Madison’s mom telling the nation that it was okay as long as they took their little brothers along, too. Britain was slightly inconvenienced. Demonstrating the full measure of their panic, the British decided to let the Canadians fight the land portion of the battle themselves. However, the Crown did dispatch over 10,000 porcelain mugs in support of the afternoon tea effort.
Fortified with good tea, the Canadians fiercely defended the frozen tundra they call home. The American troops were ill prepared for resistance, assuming that their neighbors to the north would choose liberty over subjugation, democracy over monarchy, and baseball over hockey. Faced with opposition, the state militias stayed home entirely, leaving the federal army regulars to shoot a few rounds for good measured before deciding that Canada really wasn’t worth fighting over.
There were also many major sea battles, in which the American forces faired much better. The British navy was larger and more accomplished, but suffered from poor moral and, when the limes ran out, scurvy. The poor morale was mostly due to another factor in the start of the war; the British practice of randomly forcing people to join the Royal Navy. Americans particularly objected to the nasty habit of British war ships detaining American commercial boats and impressing British-born American crew into the navy. Impressement was a means of combating desertion, the theory being that the best way to stem the tide of AWOL sailors would be to kidnap unwilling foreign nationals and make them join. Brilliant.
Over the course of a few years, large amounts of alcohol were consumed, some battles took place and at least a few people went swimming. By 1814, the British had decided that the whole thing was getting silly. To speed a resolution, they invaded Washington, D.C. and burned the White House to the ground. A peace treaty was signed in Ghent, Belgium in December of 1914, but the delegates were still gorging themselves on chocolates and carousing with local women when the war’s largest battle was fought, completely unnecessarily, in New Orleans in January of 1915.
The futile battle of New Orleans served as a fitting end to a useless war. The Treaty of Ghent specified that borders would be re-established exactly as they had been before the war, and the only real accomplishment, the end of British impressments, was achieved not because of the War of 1812, but because the Napoleonic Wars had ended and the British no longer needed the extra sailors.
In America, the War of 1812 is celebrated for propelling the young nation into the international arena. In Britain, no one remembers it happened. It is probably important to Canadians, but, as far as anyone is aware, they have never been asked to share their feelings.
And now the "official" history, brought to you by the International Association of Tenured Professors and Nitpicking Amateur Historians (IATPNAH).
<followed by original article |
- HILARIOUS summary! 184.108.40.206 06:03, 9 October 2005 (UTC)
Law 4000 was the controversial law of 1958 concerning the cracking down on delinquent Youths in Greece. Under the law, Teddyboys were prosecuted. Police started rounding up teenagers and male youths who threw Yoghurt on elderly people or women. The youths were rushed to the police stations, where they had their heads Shaven to the bone (by means of hand-powered Hair clippers, leaving nothing but a stubble on head) and they were given a sign in their neck. This sign wrote " I am a teddyboy" plus the offence he committed. Afterwards, the freshly-shorn youths, hand-cuffed, had their revers of their trousers torn off and they marched , escorted by the police, to the eyes of by- standers. Those often booed against him and this was the end of his humiliation. A film of the 1960s having the same name (Law 4000) was directed by Giannis Dalianidis and shows the whole process. Following reaction, concerning making the offenders heroes, the law was abolished in late 1960s.
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