UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/Valley of the Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense
|This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.|
|see also: https://BJAODN.org|
|If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense,|
you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love (but PLEASE cite your sources!)
This page is full up. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, UnSource:Wikipedia_BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love.
The end comes by bacon or pigs. Meaning through the power of bacon the world will be destroyed. Pigs will revolt, Mutant pigs will be created (in essence, mutant bacon), they'll create WOMD's, blow up the planet, but some mutants will survive, move to mars and create the bacon confederacy.
You may have heard about evil twins but have you ever heard of an evil triplet. Well M to the AO or should we call him Matteo is an example of such evil. He is so evil that he has even changed his name. This triplet brand of evil is known to few and those who know of it die quickly.
The Adam Pely Connection?
They were both in mi6 and now Adam Pely runs in fear. For this evil spawn of infernal spawn of evil.
This kid was developed by the government to be nuke proof but at a price. He must live in the sewers and eat garbage as cockroaches do. In fact he is the living spawn of cockroach.
His short lived job as a Rap artist included private birthday parties for 6 year olds
The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.
HELP! THE WORLD IS BEING TAKIN OVER BY HUGE WEREWOLFS! OMG! THERES ONE IN THE BUILDING! TO STOP THIS BURN DOWN THE SKYNET BUILDING! THIS IS NOT NONSENSE! WHO AM I SENDING THIS TO ANY WAY? HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!
Property insurance doesn't protect one from risks to human property because of the complications arising in that particular situation. If a human property has been lost or taken away, one is encouraged to slit their own throat to simplify things.
Gas that usually develops at hot dog stands or at sports stadiums.
Also see: Ketchup gas
this poor man was born made of playdough instead of carbon
This page is going to start out pretty bad:( so after I'm done, maybe some one should edit it. Plains of Abraham .
From a random VfD vote
VFU: McElligott's Pool
- The book is quite good, but I just cannot see
why a page without content has reason to be.
The book was quite good, I remember it well,
but somebody here doesn't know how to spell.
It was spelled with one T, I am certain that's true,
and my library thinks it was spelled that way too.
An article on it, when spelled with one T,
you can write any time, you need no help from me.
And when it is done, it would be quite correct
to make the misspelling a nice redirect.
Mistakes can occur and it's true that I see
that Amazon has it spelled -gee-oh-tee-tee.
And that's why I think that I'm not such a fool
to vote keep deleted McElligott's Pool Dpbsmith
You gotta get wet to score
Nazi Japan(1904-1938)was what is Japan,ruled also by Adolf Hitler.Nazi Japan was not only what Jpan today is,but some parts of China such as Shanghai were part of it too.In The adventures of tintin's The Blue Lotus by Herge,the story is set in Shanghai at the time Japanese troops were occupying that part of China and the great seaport at the mouth of the Yangtze Kiang.
Goatse, whilst appearing human is in fact a US government classified cargo transport robot. The G.O.A.T.S.E. "man" was created to smuggle cargo and technology too large to be moved by carrier plane to countries without being detected.
U.S. Government officials have leaked plans to adjust the internal bay responding reports that XBox consoles have been found to cause damage to the landing pad, despite the cavernous 4500 cubic feet carrying capacity.
Also, there have been some reports of Goatse smuggling Mexican midgets across the American border, as well as a number of people seeing Goatse participate in drug runs.
Fink is also a less than common last name which originates in Germany. Many immegrants brought the last name, which translated means "Finch" (as in bird), to America in their travels and now it adorns some of the most powerful leaders of our nation including macrobiologists and editors of litterary magazines.
- "The King is a Fink"(The Wizard of Id) reference
Emily's Famous Nacho Mix consists of 4 ingredients.
Cheese Chips Microwave Person
First put the cheese on the chips and put them in the microwave. Then chop up the person and sprinkle them on top. It is the most delicious thing you will ever taste. Keep this recipe away from children. Its for serious cooker and eaters only.
from Joe perella
i wrote a longer article about 1 full page about joe perella\ as i have known him for 30 years and know his history etc
then wikipedia.org froze my pc , knocked me off line so losing that article
and acted in general like fuck heads from outer space
who is the dick head doing all that ???
anyone dealing with such idiot, fuck-head monkeys attempting to contribute to this asshole run organization should realize this is what they do
and make first a copy on your notepad and save that as you will have to deal with monkeys disrupting all you attempt to do over and over over
by knocking you off line and losing all the work
having squads of un educated monkeys attack everything you write that they know nothing about whatsoever
being clowns like the wikipedia founder wales
note this wikipeida website was founded by a person named wales who claims to have been a financial expert but who was instead a clown and he remains a clown
- Index of political parties to browse parties by name
- List of political parties to browse parties by country
- List of political parties by ideology to browse parties by name
- Membership of internationals to browse parties by membership of internationals
Silly little disclaimer:
- Editor's Note: Rumor & conjecture abound that the Wikipedia is a cleverly planned effort by the publishers of the Encyclopedia Galactica to undermine sales of the Guide. We categorically deny these allegations. Furthermore, we request that any and all leads as to the identity of those persons, aliens, objects, enlightended beings, or telemarketers perpetrating these lies be sent directly to [email protected] Thank you.
It was once inquired by Olaus Magnus whether the banners in some royal flags (e.g. English, Scandinavian) are supposed to be figures of lions, panthers, or leopards. He concluded that the creatures in question were, in fact, small human babies with fur attached by use of pitch. Saint Methodius, who mythologized Goths' using bear-like creatures in war, actually referred to lions and not to small human babies with fur attached by use of pitch. This is all rather confusing, and the difficulty of the research has been the cause of many a scholarly suicide.
Pixeltendo is something like this 0 0
Våglia is the biggest community in Ytre Enebakk, a sprawling village a mere 30 minutes from Oslo. It is blessed with a gas station, two grocery-stores, and a very small mall with everything a family might need. The latter only applies if the family is Amish, unfortunately.
From: Talk:False friend
The words False Friends means a person who pretends to be real friends but are in reality enemies! A False Friend will not invite you over his house or to his parties because he in reality, hates you.
A False Friend is someone who wants to take advantage of you, Exploit you and use you for a purpose.
If you get sick and wind up in the Hospital they will not visit you cause they do not care.
They do not want to do favors for you.
Your real friends invite you over their house or apartment. They invite you to parties and weddings. They want you to meet their relatives.
False Friends tell you lies! Real Friends are truthful!
False Friends will try to manipulate you!
King Sandbox I's Official Decree
I hearby declare myself king of the sandbox, until such a time as someone removes this entry. My first royal decree is that all Wikipedians must have fun at least once a day. My second royal decree is that Wikipedians must avoid deleting articles unless they have a very good reason to. My third royal decree is that more decrees shall be decreed as I see fit.
When the village of the donkeys was first discovered, nobody was quite sure what to make of it. Who would have ever suspected that donkeys are more intelligent than humans? Certainly not I... but then, I'm but a mere human.
The donkeys demand 42 rubies.
I will not pay the donkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Incoming transmission from the Republic of Donkistania...
We, the rulers of Donkistania find your lack of contributions to the One True Donkey Empire extremely rude. If we do not recieve either 42 rubies or an amount of cheese equal in value to 42 rubies, we will be forced to take action against the world of man. You have approximately 88.8 donkey hours to render payment. This is roughly one human day.
Donkeytron, Master of All That Matters™
...End of transmission...
==You have 11.2 donkey hours left to submit your 42 rubies or 45677566 ounces of cheese to 23 Podunk Avenue.
Shoe Shopping is the act of shopping for shoes. Normally, Shoe Shopping involves the purchase of a shoe product. Necessity is not required to initiate a "Shoe Shopping" event.
You'd think that if one of these guys won a Nobel prize, they would remember and mention his name. Odd, huh? Rl 21:18, 4 Mar 2005 (UTC)
- Nah, see, so many staff members and alumni have won Nobel prizes that nobody's had time to write them all down. Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 21:47, Mar 4, 2005 (UTC)
Truth v. Hoax
It's not a hoax! I was just pretending to be sinister!
- User admitted to it being a hoax here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Votes_for_deletion/Old#Smith_N._Jones_High_School if you want us to believe otherwise, please show some sources. Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 01:24, Jan 25, 2005 (UTC)
- It does have a google hit!
- Why you little!
- 1). That wasn't Goofle, that was Yahoo. 2). The "hit" was for its original VfD page. Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 01:31, Jan 25, 2005 (UTC)
- 3). Of course it wasn't Goofle!
Smith N. Jones High School v. Andrew Lenahan
Here's an overview of the case:
- Andrew Lenahan sued Smith N. Jones High School for being excellent.
- Smith N. Jones High School countersues Andrew Lenahan to protect its tradition, which started from June 24, 1950, when it was established.
- Smith N. Jones High School officials present solid evidence to back their claims and remain confident.
- Andrew Lenahan stutters often, provides poor evidence, and is very nervous.
- The court backs the claims of Smith N. Jones High School.
- Andrew Lenahan loses against Smith N. Jones High School.
- Andrew Lenahan
- Don Knight
- Lily Atkins
- Christopher Blackwell
- Kenneth Raimen
Do I get to talk to Doug Llewellyn?
The article is still a hox, but the thing above is awesome. I hope it gets preserved somewhere (hint, hint). Andrew Lenahan - Starblind 01:47, Jan 25, 2005 (UTC)
Jim Wilson is also known to be moving to Chittenango in July.
Apathy is a word with the letter A in front of it. Meow. Blah. Meow.
A cardinal is a professional baseball player from St Louis. Who earlier this season kicked the Houston Astro's butt. why the baseball players from Missouri get to select the next pope is beyond me.
From Talk:New York conspiracy theory
- This was from a Talk page that never had a corresponding article.
Springing from the Existential movement of the early 20th Century, Futilitarianism is the belief in nothing. It has a single tenet: everything is futile. Even believing in that tenet itself is futile. To discuss it is still more futile. The only act more utterly futile than writing about it, is to read about it.
Cowtopia is a nation located in the United States. Cowtopia is actually composed of two independant countries seperated by war. The Great Cow Wars of 1991 and 1992 caused the country to split in half. The two seperated parts became Moo Cowtopia (referred to as the Moo Cowtopian Democracy) and Cowtopia (referred to as the Great Cowtopian Empire). On Tuesday, April 19th, 2004, the two countries of Cowtopia finally became at peace and have discussed reuniting. The Cowtopian States are very dependant on one another, and the war had reduced them to poverty. Because of the two countries extremely common history, the two nations are each others' closest trading partners.
"Bill Gates ate all my fruit!"
What you say when Bill Gates has eaten all your fruit.
Source: Fat Albert
Edit summaries from Special:Contributions/I am not Wikipedia's founder
All of these were Sandbox edits:
- (I chose this name because the Wikipedia community gets upset when you use his name in your user name. Even when you make it clear that you are not impersonating him.)
- (Yessiree, I am just a common man. In no way, shape, or form affiliated with Wikipedia or its sponsors.)
- (I do not pet sit, play croquet, or dig up my apartment lot just to see whats under there.)
- (Imagine my embarrassment when I tell the maitr'd that no, I am not Wikipedias founder and I dont drink wine. Not even when its complimentary.)
- (life becomes an emotional rollercoaster ride when one minute youre treated like royalty, and the next security is escorting you out into the alley.)
- (Punctuational correction.)
- (I dont even go out anymore, because Im tired of it. Im going to try growing a mustache.)
- (I may not be "him", lets just call him:"J.W.". But I am somebody. Somebody important. Somebody who CONTRIBUTES to Wikipedia. (The sandbox anyways.))
- (I hope these posts dont get me blocked. Im just trying to be friendly, and conversational. And vent.)
- (My hatred for chalk borders on the psychotic...)
- (Chalkstorms can be fun however.)
- (If Dido would remake Stairway To Heaven, it would be a SMASH!)
- (On the other hand if Robert Plant remade "Thank You" it probably wouldnt do so well.)
- (These two should stay away from each other.)
- (That comment would have made more sense if I would have posted the pictures corectly. Oh well, looks like an extra trip to Mistress Molly this week.)
- (Stop copying me!)
- (I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED!I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED!STOP IT!) [this last one was in response to someone else posting the image at right]
From Talk:Pope Benedict XVI
Not a joke, but certainly nonsense... edit by 184.108.40.206:
- SIG HEIL!
This entry is particularly informative to people who believe that Taiwan is the Capital of Indonesia
Al-Qaeda (Arabic: القاعدة, "the foundation" or "the base") is the name given to a worldwide network of Halal fast food outlets. Built on the mujahideen catering network of Afghanistan, it seeks to feed, at a resonable price, Islamic communities that it considers to be deprived of a tasty, quick burger. It is currently in operation with the Kashmir, Chechnya, and Palestine. The group places itself in confrontation with McDonalds, due to their support for the BigMac, which Osama bin Laden (CEO) himself has called 'well ming, and too saucy'.
Any other association is purely co-incidental.
From Latin Goddess
A girl by the name of Amy Skillicorn carries this noble title. She claimed after battling her way to the top, her beauty, brains, and charming grace have at least in part contributed to her earning the recommendations of her many servants, she is known to be carried by her group of followers, affectionately termed, The Science Team Boys. They answer to beckon, and that of no other maiden could sway them in their path of servitude, they are prepared to drop everything to honor her slightest whim. She is Amy Skillicorn and she is not a Latin goddess, she is THE Latin goddess. She is also a super genius.
(EDIT: who wrote this?)
(EDIT: I would have, if I'd only thought of it sooner...)
From Talk:Conjestion road charge (sic)
You shoud not put delete this as it is a laugh and gives you a break from the real world. it is not nonsense, it ios a mind of a very funny guy!!! So just leave this alone as you deleted his talk page (I mean Huddle's talk page) before which had similar material which was also a great laugh.
A boner or blunder is a spectacularly bad or embarrassing mistake. This is a list of history's greatest boners.
(Editor's note: "boner" has a very different meaning in modern American slang.)
Hi. This is a static IP with only one editor, so there is no one to blame but me.
from Museum of Welsh Life
Museum of Welsh Life
A Welsh Museum showing the Welsh through time and how they evolved from sheep.
His edit summary was: gay is cool! gay is a way of love. marmots say "HEIL HITLER"!
Wikipedia does not want you! luis magana is taking over the world by using drunks in nascar races. stop the canadian with militay force.
tom's mom's cookies are full of poision.
your system is being deleted.haa.userrdropdeadgorgous is a goner
us military force has invaded canada and raided their bars and farms.
save america from from the french's complaints.
From Ashlee Simpson
ED: This is not the exact article but it was the best I could create from the history
Ashlee "Lip Syncher" Simpson (born October 3, 1984 in Dallas) is an American POTATO, POTATO and the younger POTATO!! of singer POTATO. She rose to prominence in mid-2004, when her first album, the now triple platinum Autobiography, debuted at number one in sales, accompanied by a successful reality show, The Ashlee Simpson Show. In October 2004, SHE WAS CAUGHT LIP SYNCHING to a pre-recorded studio track on the sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live; this highly publicized incident drew substantial negative attention from the POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!
POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!POTATO!MMMMMMM....potato is good!
From Pope Benedict XVI
"His opinion on homosexuality has spawned a subculture amongst the homosexual community, with members trying to convert the Pope himself."
Saksham 20:10, 21 Apr 2005 (UTC)Saksham
From Communists for Kerry
Reportedly inspired by Billionaires for Bush, this political parody group describes its mission as "to inform voters with satire and irony, how political candidates make decisions based on the failed social economic principles of socialism." In character, the group fervently supports John Kerry in his Presidential bid, through violent revolution if necessary. When asked by WorldNetDaily about his motivation to begin Communists for Kerry, Bert Plugg, the founder of the group, was quoted as saying: "I'm a Libertarian. I decided to be a Libertarian in College. Basically it was a way for me to resolve my identity crisis. I was gay but I still felt uncomfortable around minorities, especially blacks and Mexicans. I was also greedy as hell, and so Libertarianism just sorta fell in my lap. You know we Libertarians basically have a message: 'We're just like Republicans except we don't beleive in God, morals, or religion, and instead of BEING poor inbred hicks from the South, we just use them to gain power. Oh and we're gay AND PROUD.' Communists for Kerry is all about reaching out to people with that message, in a compassionate way ya know?". As far as the question as to whether the group merited a 527-group clearance, Mr.Plugg replied off-record "Off course we do sweetheart, we're a political group! Of course, that doesn't mean the 527 status doesn't bring us freebies every now and then. Check out these FABULOUS drapes Matt Drudge gave me!".
During the 2004 presidential campaign, FOX News portrayed the group as a serious organization which actually supported Kerry. In a published story, FOX quoted a "Communists for Kerry" member stating that both he and North Korea supported "Comrade Kerry". The story continued, "It is unclear whether the Kerry campaign has welcomed the Communists' endorsement." FOX later apologized.  The group highlights a less-publicized incident in which The Washington Post reported of an anti-Bush protest, "Kerry might prefer to eschew the four-member "Communists for Kerry" contingent, whose placards advocated a "France First!" foreign policy." KommanderDjin comments on the group's web site, "Do note that this article received zero mention from the leftists out there, while the mistake made by FoxNews, is cause to dismantle the entire news organization."
Its members hold demonstrations in Union Square on irregular occasions (and once at the 2004 Republican National Convention) dressed as such figures as Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and a Ivan Lenin, based on Vladimir Lenin.
Some of the group's slogans include "The welfare state = the shining city on the hill!", "Eradicate SMALL business! We need BIG government!", "End the two Americas! Create one homogenous welfare state!", "Communists for Kerry: In alliance with the Negroes-on-Welfare Organization and Gays-Who-Love-Bareback-Sex Union!", "Fascism is bad! *chuckle*" and "Green Cards to Guantanamo Bay prisoners!".
In September 2004, an Australian chapter of the group was opened, claiming, "John Kerry" is pronounced "Mark Latham" in Australian. The group is willing to help anyone form their own chapter, if they can first prove all of their members have less than 5% Negroid racial heritage. As of October 12, 2004, it is unclear what the group will do after Howard's winning a majority government. In mid-October 2004, the group announced the opening of a French chapter in connection with ProtestWarrior. No word on whether the French Chapter has any qualms with associating with a group that referred to their home nation as "Frog-eatin', Surrendering Ass Monkeys!".
The group refers to the American Civil Liberties Union as the "secret police" as a parody of the ACLU's supposed zealousness for left-wing issues. To highlight this, the Communists for Kerry website features the letters 'ACLU' with a Hammer-and-Sickle below it and the phrase "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING". 2nd-in-command Gaylord Goatse, also known as 'Kommissar CommiesAreBad' in the group, described this as being "Witty" he added "My frat brothers all LOVED it. The idea came to me for it while I was sucking beer out of this dudes bunghole at a Frat party." His friend then added "Yeah, Gaylord, or Gayyie as we call him was all like eating my asshole out and shiz, and he came up for this radd idea to compare the ACLU to the Nazis. Or wait, maybe communists I forget. But like either way, the ACLU is like totally out to take away your freedom dude, like man, they don't want you to do shit. Like can you beleive they wanna make raping drunk women illegal? That's gonna totally rain down on my frats parade!."
from Lucifer Rising
I like very much Lucifer,but I'm not a satanist.I want to see more about him.Maybe someday I will be a satanist,only God knows(if he knows).He is a damn bad angel,he is beautiful,very beautiful,but in the same time very-very bad.So I want to see more because i don't know much about him.I Love U,your slave,Miss Lucifer'Bold textBold text-- 16:28, 22 Apr 2005 (UTC)
Rim jobs are the funnest to do, just be sure that the area has been wiped down to eliminate unsavoury conditions. Ask Keith for his expert opinion on this topic.
A restaurant and shop can be found at the top station, just below the summit, offering those who have made their ascent by train the chance to purchase "I Climbed Snowdon" T-shirts.
This is so true. The sort of tourists to buy the naff T-shirts are exactly those who would also have taken the train rather than walked up. But unfortunately not very encyclopaedic, so with great regret it had to go. Reworded as:
- A restaurant and shop can be found at the top station, just below the summit (selling, amongst other things, "I Climbed Snowdon" T-shirts).
From Hydrochloric Acid
The Island Pokai, located south of Malaysia, with a population of 1500 is unknown to the rest of the world for it has no language and no communication with humans on Earth but they communicate in their dreams with the planet Zigon, located within the depths of the galaxy Gip. The government of all the nations worked together to conceal their existance to preserve the alien colonization that is to take place in 2013. The truth was evident to a fisherman who unknowingly was stranded on the island when his ship capsized 2 years ago. He was able to communicate to them by drawing on the wet sands of the beach. He, who is not to be named, discovered that they were growing marijuana and he quickly become good friends with them by smoking out with them. He also said that most of the time he was there he was high. But we will not take that into consideration when they communicated to him about the invasion. They teleported him back to Australia and he told the reporters of Truth Is Out There paper about his encounter with the Pokai people. When reporters asked President Bush about the hidden Island, he said "What Island? All the Island we have are Cuba, Iceland, Pokai, Australia, Taiwan, and Egypt. There is no such Island named Pokai, and they do not, i repeat, do not grow marijuana."
Random encounter in Wikipedia:Sandbox/Hangman
THOU HAST ENCOUNTERED A BATTLE WITH ENEMY "n00b". THY COMMAND??
@-. _ )\\ _ / \/ | \/ \ @/`|/\/\/|`\@ / \ | ^ ^ | | . | | (\_/) | .-"-\ \_/ /-"-. / .-. \___/ .-. \ @/` /.-. .-.\ `\@ @` \ / `@ @
A coconut is something of which it is not unusual to have a lovely bunch of, with sizes ranging from
* Big ones * Small ones * Some as big as your head
Some people theorize they always come standing in a row.