UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/What Wikipedia is not

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From Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not/Outtakes. This content is released by wildebeest gnus under the GFDL.

This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL.
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See also: http://bjaodn.org
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!


Since Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not was first written, a number of proposed additions never made it in. These are outtakes from the official policy, and while most of them are true, none of them should be considered official policy.

Warning: Read at your own risk.

Contents

Wikipedia does not use no double negatives[edit]

It sure ain't got none no more.

What Wikipedia is not, according to the Blogosphere[edit]

It's really amazing to learn the things that Wikipedia is not...

Wikipedia is not your mom[edit]

sorry, couldn't resist

Wikipedia is not a urinal[edit]

Hey, you! Do that stuff over there, or there.

Wikipedia is not a sock[edit]

I mean, does it smell bad? No! Then it's not a sock!

W1k1p3d14 i5 n07 a p14c3 4 l3375p33K!!![edit]

if U y00z l3375p33k heer, u wil get Pwn3d.

Wikipedia is not a graveyard[edit]

So don't put dead bodies in here.

Wikipedia does not bite[edit]

OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wikipedia is not a place to get drunk[edit]

Awwww, man. That's no fair.... but it's okay if we're drunk already, right?

Wikipedia is not a swimming pool[edit]

Cannonball!!!! Aww, crap! I broke my computer.

Wikipedia is not your great aunt Agnes[edit]

Thank God!

Wikipedia is not your husband/wife[edit]

Need I explain more?

Wikipedia is not communism[edit]

Despite the assertions of many a vandal, Wikipedia is not, in fact, communism. Jimbo Wales is not really Che Guevara or Emma Goldman, Larry Sanger is not Trotsky, and Wikipedia was not founded in a bloody and violent armed revolution against Encyclopædia Brittanica imperialism. Furthermore, no matter what anyone will tell you, Wikipedia is not owned in common by the workers. Wikipedia belongs to the world. From each according to his/her convenience and addiction, to each according to his/her bandwidth (as long as the site is still up).

Wikipedia is not David Hasselhoff[edit]

It is true that Wikipedia is far more popular in Germany than in its native United States. It is true that Wikipedia is often surrounded by attractive women in bikinis. And it is true that Wikipedia has more "cool" and "sex appeal" than any other 1980's TV star. Despite these similarities, however, Wikipedia is not David Hasselhoff.

Wikipedia is not the Second Coming[edit]

Wikipedia is bigger than Jesus.[1] Wikipedia is even bigger than the Beatles![2] Hell, it's even bigger than me.[3] But only just. Wikipedia is even making a run at porn.[4] Wikipedia is more important than life.[5] Wikipedia is bigger than the universe.[6] Where will this end?

Wikipedia is not a cabal[edit]

Wikipedia is only run by a cabal. Of thousands. But don't worry—you, too, can join the cabal by making a history of constructive, high-quality edits. That, and learn the secret password. (It's "BANANAS.")

Wikipedia is not a site opposing random and trivial fictional stuff[edit]

On the contrary. Wikibooks and Wikia were created for a reason.

Wikipedia is not a place to masturbate[edit]

Wikipedia is not a porn site or any other place to masturbate. Every masturbation or "varied sex" infobox has been deleted. See {{User varied sex}}.

While Wikipedia is not pr0n, it is also not not pr0n. If that makes any sense.

Wikipedia is not a place for perky people[edit]

^_^ =3 :D ;D =) ;-) =^_^= ^^ >_> :) :P

Wikipedia is a place for well-written articles on pokémon[edit]

One of our best articles actually is about a Pokémon! (At least, it was.)

Wikipedia is not a place to find The Truth[edit]

The Truth is out there . . . wait, sorry, I mean out there. Really. I mean it. Turn off the computer and go outside now. You have had enough for one day.

Wikipedia is not a place to boost one's ego[edit]

Perhaps this one should be officially added, now that the edit count tools are whack, and considering that the vast majority of editors are non-notable individuals.

Wikipedia is not an MMORPG[edit]

Template:Main

Granted, we have edit counts for levels (but not to the extent of Everything 2); edit distribution and othat stats; administrators, arbitrators, vandals, and so on for classes; sockpuppets for using "summons" on a hacked character; over 1.3 million players; over 1,130,000 locations (including 900+ Featured towns and cities), pubs (talk pages); quest rewards (barnstars); boss battles (FAC); class change trials (RFA), and battle arenas (AIV).

Wikipedia is not a place to tell really filthy but totally funny jokes[edit]

I told you it wasn't.

Wait a second, it so is...

Wikipedia is not Pokemon Yellow[edit]

Once you get 8 Good Article badges, you won't be going to fight the Elite Four (Raul, Jimbo, Curps, and SimonP).

Wikipediä ist nicht nur für Deutsche[edit]

Wikipediä ist für die Welt. Ja, die Deutschewikipediä ist more popular than die Englishwikipediä, Ja, Deutschland hat die only Printedwikipediäeditiön in die Welt. Ja, Wikipediä supports Ünicöde, allowing für Lötsöfümläuts. Ja, Jimbo Wäles ist der Übermensch prophesied by Deutschphilözopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Und finally, ja, Wikipediä ist pronounced mit einem "V-soünd" as you call it in Englisch. Nonetheless, Wikipediä ist nicht nur für Deutsche!

Wikipedia is not a kitten[edit]

Though sometimes cute and cuddly, Wikipedia is not a kitten. Please do not stroke it lovingly.

Wikipedia is not a sexual lubricant[edit]

No explanation needed.

Wikipedia is not just for Christmas[edit]

It is for life. Don't let the kids sit on it or pull it by the tail.

Wikipedia is not a giant, blue and green striped, pink and purple polkadotted, odorous, pizza-covered, telephone-eating, lederhosen-wearing, Republican, bloodstained homicidal maniac named Bob[edit]

This follows from the fact that Wikipedia is not Republican.

Wikipedia is not Wikipedia[edit]

Psych!

Wikipedia is not a spoon[edit]

But you can still eat soup with it, although it might be wise to invest in a new computer. Also, Wikipedia is there, as opposed to the spoon.

Wikipedia is not a duck[edit]

I said, Wikipedia is not a duck.

Wikipedia is not a place to post half-finished sentences[edit]

Half-finished articles and Candlejack are fine, but please finish your sen

Wikipedia is not a place for an argument[edit]

Yes it is. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't.

That's not an argument, that's just a contradiction!

No it's not.

Yes it is. An argument is an intellectual process, intended to establish a proposition. That's not just saying, "No it isn't".

Yes it is.

No, it isn't.

Look -- if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary postion.


<dead argument sketch continues in random order ad infinitum>

Wikipedia is not a place for vandalism[edit]

You said: "I think you are being anal retentive and a hardass, i see how the comments on the talk page of that are unconstrucitve but it was a joke and i thought that it would be okay on the talk page. regarding + Did anyone else think that this is some funny shit!?Cholga 19:02, 19 September 2006 (UTC) that is not vandalism it was a legitimate question about what people thought about the colbert report thing. WHAT OTHER VANDALISM ARE YOPU TALKING ABOUT, YOU SAID YOU COULD COME UP WITH ANOTHER EXAMPLE I AM FURIOUS I AM USING BOLD I AM A SUPERSTAR SHOW ME THE MONEY? I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THESE SUPPOSED OTHER EXAMPLESChola out"

I'm complaining about your claim that you have elephants in your back yard, that elephants live in Antarctica, and that they are overpopulating the world. Article discussion pages are to be used for improving the quality of the article and this is noted at the top of that particular article. Unconstructive edits are considered vandalism. --Yamla 19:38, 19 September 2006 (UTC)

Wikipedia is not a window shade[edit]

You can't use it to darken your house. Well, you could print out articles and use those, but Wikipedia itself is not a shade. Don't even think about it.

Put down the pull cord and step away from the glass.

Wikipedia is not a place to communicate secret messages[edit]

By embedding them in blocks of otherwise innocuous text. Did I just give something away?

Wikipedia is not funny[edit]

Wikipedia is not some kind of clown here for your amusement. What's so funny about Wikipedia? Tell me.

Wikipedia is not on the internet[edit]

Usefulness? On *my* INTERNET?!

Wikipedia is not an online encyclopedia that comes in many languages and can be edited by users[edit]

Oh, wait. It is. Never mind.

Wikipedia is not written in code[edit]

let section = ("Wikipedia is not written in code") & if {
readerMood = (bored) then closeWindow;
else:
keepReading OR vomitUncontrollably;
repeatUntil laughter = (stopped) &then:
changePants (underwear) + changePants (trousers) & remember ("use bathroom before laughing")
if pants = (not wet/soiled) then continue reading|letter|word|line|paragraph|section|page
{&if
page = (boring) then ([email protected]$&ingBad4u) and mood= (Angry) - XP
soThen
vandaliseUncontrollably}
&endFunction} loopIf
discoveredByAdmin = false
}else{
if discoveredByAdmin = true then {
run4Life &pray that JimboWales (know) = doesNot
else
bleedOn (floor) & (mercy)begFor
ifDead then Pwn3d = true
endStatement}
}
bleep
end

Wikipedia is not for disambiguity[edit]

Wikipedia is not a place for disambiguity or Purple Toe-Eating fungus.

Is it?

Wikipedia is not ON WHEELS!![edit]

Anymore, that is.

Wikipedia is not a flotation device[edit]

In the event that someone is drowning, do not throw Wikipedia to him/her. This will only make matters worse (see electrocution).

Wikipedia's Javascript doesn't mean be hyper[edit]

Perk!Perk!What?Blah!Let'splay!PLAYPLAYPLAY!*thud-snoooooooore*

Wikipedia doesn't have an infinite amount of processing power[edit]

So please don't add lots of links that could use up its bandwidth because the bandwidth is needed for real articles. Thank you very much.

Wikipedia is[edit]

not the[edit]

place to[edit]

create infinite[edit]
Headlines[edit]
like I am[edit]
doing now[edit]

Wikipedia is not the place to sabotage articles with personal info[edit]

Wkipedia is not the place to explain that Jim Hersha is a 12th grader in Arkasas who loves chocolate.

Wikipedia is not an airline[edit]

Wikipedia cannot process your flight arrangements, and Wikipedia does not have cheap flights. Wikipedia cannot help your boyfriend see you, and Wikipedia cannot charge $2.00 per minute for a telephone conversation.

Wikipedia is not.[edit]

It was, but that didn't work so well.

Wikipedia is not for everyone[edit]

Please consult your doctor before starting Wikipedia. Do not use if under the influence of alcohol. Serious side effects may occur. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while using Wikipedia. If you start experiencing discoloration of your right toes, discontinue use of Wikipedia and consult a doctor.

Wikipedia is for everyone[edit]

Please do not consult your doctor before starting Wikipedia. Use if under the influence of alcohol. Serious side effects may not occur. Do drive or operate heavy machinery while using Wikipedia. When you start experiencing discoloration of your right toes, continue use of Wikipedia and don't consult a doctor.

Wikipedia is not my beautiful house[edit]

Nor is it my beautiful wife.

Wikipedia is not the call of the Seventh Trumpet of the End Times[edit]

It does, however, hang out with war, famine, death, and pestilence.

Wikipedia is not the Governor of California[edit]

Hasta la vista, one-liners!

Wikipedia is not gay[edit]

He is going out with google.com. I heard he got her pregnant!

Wikipedia is not something you just dump something on[edit]

It's not a big truck.

Wikipedia is not in the process of sucking[edit]

Depending on what your reply is, you could suffer... *cocks shotgun* Any Questions?

Wikipedia is not also in the process of blowing[edit]

Do note that although this is the alternative of sucking, you should think accordingly as to whether it does or does not blow. *waves shotgun*

Wikipedia is not my shotgun[edit]

It isn't really possible to blast your enemies in the face with Wikipedia, although additional cardiovascular damage may occur as a result, making it roughly as dangerous.

Wikipedia is not a game[edit]

Too many people think it is.

Wikipedia is not The Game[edit]

However, you just lost.

Wikipedia is not a series of tubes[edit]

That would be them there internets.

Wikipedia is not a carrot[edit]

Wikipedia is also not Britannica, nor is it a radish.[7]

Wikipedia is not original research.

Wikipedia is not a gameshark[edit]

You can't use Wikipedia to make your life as easy as breathing. It leads to serious problems.

Wikipedia is not deoderant[edit]

Yup.....what were you expecting something funny? Well your not gunna get it cuz it really isn't deoderant.

Wikipedia is not a banana[edit]

Don't throw it on the floor and let people fall on it. JONJONBTTalk to me! 02:06, 6 June 2007 (UTC)


Wikipedia is not any kind of fruit or vegetable[edit]

It is a website. Well duhhhhh!!

Wikipedia is not The Matrix[edit]

Although it is an alternate reality of sorts.

Wikipedia will not help you lose weight[edit]

That why dieting and/or exercise were created.

Wikipedia is not a pipe[edit]

Or, as the French would say, Wikipédia n'est pas une pipe.

Wikipedia is not sold in stores[edit]

So call now! The next fifty callers receive a free Wiktionary! Sorry, no CODs

Wikipedia is not gonna take it[edit]

no, it ain't gonna take it, Wikipedia's not gonna take it, anymore


Wikipedia is not blasphemy and/or madness[edit]

THIS... IS... WIKIPEDIA!!

Wikipedia is not not not not not an encyclopedia[edit]

Of course it's not not not not not. It is, however, not not not a fruit.

Wikipedia is not Uncyclopedia[edit]

  • That's right! You tell 'em! -Oscar Wilde
  • Yup, you're right on the money there! - Kanye West
  • In Soviet Russia, pedia wikis YOU!! -Russian Reversal on Wikipedia
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Wikipedia is not DeviantArt[edit]

  • Yay! First comment!
  • You've been tagged! Put this in your user page and send it to six other Wikipedians!
  • [comment hidden by owner]
    • [comment hidden by owner]
      • [comment hidden by owner]
        • [comment hidden by owner]
          • [comment hidden by owner]
            • (1 Reply)
  • WAAAA...Kawaii desu, ne? ^_^
  • Overall, I'd give Wikipedia very high marks. My only criticism is that the "anyone can edit" philosophy makes the website very prone to abuse. But, otherwise, a very good encyclopedia.
    • Well, bitch, that's how my f***ing website works, so leave me f***ing alone.
      • Wow. You're mature </Sarcasm> If you're going to bitch every time someone gives you constructive criticism, then maybe you shouldn't be here.
  • SAVE THE YELLOW ALIEN!!! SAVE THE YELLOW ALIEN!!!

(three hours later...)

Wikipedia is in read-only mode for system maintenance.

Wikipedia is not yo mama[edit]

If wikipedia tells you to do something, you don't necesarilly have to do it. Now clean your room!

Wikipedia is not The Flying Spaghetti Monster[edit]

Please don't get your friends to worship it, please.

Wikipedia is not the place for cybersex[edit]

Go do that to a chat room, despite the fact that the person you're not talking to is not a blonde 19-year old girl.

sdrawckab gnihtyna tpecca ton lliw aidepikiW[edit]

.siht detpecca yeht ,nosaer emos rof tuB

Wikipedia is not your diary[edit]

For more information, see this page.

Wikipedia is not Radioactive[edit]

Okay? It safe, just take off that damn protection suit, its smells, like your ugly face.

Wikipedia is not Encyclopedia Dramatica[edit]

So don't do it for the lulz!

Wikipedia is not Cyndi Lauper's house[edit]

No girl should just wanna have fun here. This is serious business!

Wikipedia is not The Price is Right[edit]

Come on down all you want, but you aren't winning a new car anytime soon.

Wikipedia is not Who Wants to be a Millionaire[edit]

Is that your final answer?

Wikipedia is not the Paris Hilton Fanclub[edit]

Go to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Wikipedia is not a maid[edit]

Pick that up!

Wikipedia is not KAT-TUN[edit]

So take your kawaii's and kakkoii's elsewhere fangirls. D:<

Wikipedia is not suitable for vegetarians[edit]

It also isn't suitable for people with nut allergies.

Wikipedia is not The Weakest Link[edit]

You are, instead.

References[edit]

  1. "Google Trends:wikipedia, jesus". http://www.google.com/trends?q=wikipedia%2C+jesus. Retrieved 2006-05-18. 
  2. "Google Trends:wikipedia, beatles". http://www.google.com/trends?q=wikipedia%2C+beatles. Retrieved 2006-05-18. 
  3. "Google Trends:Wikipedia, me". http://www.google.com/trends?q=Wikipedia%2C+me. Retrieved 2006-12-07. 
  4. "Google Trends:Wikipedia, porn". http://www.google.com/trends?q=Wikipedia%2C+porn. Retrieved 2006-12-07. 
  5. "Google Trends:Wikipedia, life". http://www.google.com/trends?q=Wikipedia%2C+life. Retrieved 2007-07-09. 
  6. "Google Trends:wikipedia, universe". http://www.google.com/trends?q=Wikipedia%2C+universe&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all&sort=0. Retrieved 2006-07-12. 
  7. Template:Citeweb