From Uncyclomedia, the UnMeta-wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Bing is a fairly new "search engine", run by Microshit. Bing stands for - But I'm Not Google. Bing has been surrounded in controversies that Microshit stole the whole damn thing from Google - The Greek God of Empires and Tycoonships. Bing has also been rumoured to internally, within Microshit, stand for Bastardly Inhuman Nonfunctional Gay. Bing was released at the same time as Wolfram:Alpha, and they both competed in the GeorgeBush Award, for not delivering on things they promised. In the end, neither won, rather France won, for it's spectacular performance, embarrassing Bing is hosted on a server, also rumoured, to be 40 MegaBots wide. This serving capacity, would provide Main Courses to 57 People per hour. To get a Michelin Star, a Server must have the capacity for 87 Mains and 11 Desserts per hour. Bing is registered to a company called Microshit. Nobody knows who these people are, although there is some public knowledge of them developing a program called 'Vista'. There is said to have been a mind wipe for the whole of the population of every country bar France, as they are the only ones who know of this 'Vista'. As they are French, nobody believes them, and there is some speculation that whatever happened to this 'Vista' shall happen to Bing. Bing is said to be usable as a Calculator, although it probably has an algorithem of sorts, that inputs this term into Google and steals the results. Bing has released a mobile version of the 'popular' 'search engine', although the only people who would want to use it on the move are the French, because they've always got a stiff drink with them. Bing is currently subject to an advertising campaign advertising it's accurate results. It cost 18 Gigabillion USD, and features Mr T 'playing with his Bing'. There is currently a civil case being undertaken against Microshit for damage to the sight of 47 Trillion people, due to sight of the Ghastly colour scheme Bing uses. Bing has multiple search modes. Bad, Worse, and God Damn Awful. Bing spokespeople have told the media that 'Bing is 90% faster than it's nearest competetor.' They were immediately found to be lying.