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special collections
see also: https://BJAODN.org
If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense,
you may do so at UnSource:Wikipedia BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love (but PLEASE cite your sources!)

This page is full up. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, UnSource:Wikipedia_BJAODN/67 Deletion Summer of Love.

The name is a reference to the Monopoly board game, in which some of the cards read: "Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200."

From BJAODN main page:[edit]

Hello. I like Rusty Penis.

from Emo[edit]

This confused me, so I felt it belonged here.


Main article: Emo (music)

The arliest traces of emo culture can be attested to an ancient Afro-Asiatic peoples who called themselves "Aimu," later becoming a loanword in Ancient Greek as "Emo," meaning "he who wears black." The Aimu were conquered by the egyptians in 1000 BC, leaving little trace of their own culture, except for the trademark mascara worn by the egyptian pharos.

The second Golden Age of Emo[edit]

In 66 AD, a young merchant of emo descent living in Cairo had a vision. He said that fourteen years from the night of his revelation a prophet would appear to call upon the emos to rise up and release their inner self-hatred. True to his word, a man with the name of La'inthuqa, meaning "Rites of Spring," had a vision. Although he was only a farmer, he claimed to be a prophet of the supreme being, and translated two ancient golden CDs given by him into a doctrine to by followed by the emo people. But when he arrived at the city, he saw that the people had sinned, and were listening to Bubble gum pop. He broke the CDs into pieces, and ran to hide in the mountains. There he meditated for 20 years, trying to achieve the perfect balance of harmony. Once he reached the mountains, however, he was scouted out by dogs, and sent to the electric chair. This is why emos despise dogs and bless one another with tiny electric chairs.

 More Emo Jokes!

The Emo race oringanally came from some island it the Altantic Ocean.It is rumoured they were throw out of Atlantis for being weird. They then landed om the coast of Mexico and made their way up to America and co. But they migrated in the late 20th century to other parts of the world including Europe and they've been there ever since!

From BJAODN main page:[edit]

This is one of the oldest junk pages on Junkipedia. Here is the original junk explanation:

From Hawaii Department of Motor Vehicles[edit]

The 'Hawaii Department of Motor Vehicles' is extremely difficult to navigate because each of the 4 Counties, County of Maui, County of Hawaii, County of Kauai and the City and County of Honolulu each have their own rules and forms. Phone numbers are difficult to find and the State is unserstaffed. Therefore, if you are moving to any County you will need to learn about that County's regulations and attempt to contact them.

If you are moving to Hawaii and shipping your vehicle, you are now able to obtain your State of Hawaii license plates, Certificate of Title and Certificate of Registration, before you ship your vehicle from the U.S. Mainland. The Registration by Mail program is available if you can provide a physical address on any island. By obtaining your registration in advance you can save many hours of waiting in line and possibly be rejected for not having the proper documents.

You can apply for registration by mail from any County DMV or there is a private company, called Bold textAloha Vehicle Registration ServiceBold text, that also provides this service, however, it has service charges over any above what the County charges. The choice is yours, but they will save you valuable time and they also provide great information about shipping your vehicle, how to do it, who to call and costs.

From Victory Auto Wreckers/Temp[edit]

Victory Auto Wreckers is a large seven-acre junkyard located in the Chicago suburb of Bensenville, Illinois. Although Victory is virtually indistinguishable from other junkyards in Chicago and Northwest Indiana in terms of both appearance and quality, thousands of people in Chicago are familiar with the business because of the company's ubiquitous television commercial.

The Victory Auto Wreckers commercial has been running on local TV stations nonstop since 1981, sometimes as often as thirty times a week. It may well be the longest-running unchanged commercial in Chicago TV history. It begins with the phrase "That old car is worth money!" TV historian Steve Jajkowski remarks that "The Victory spot holds an important place in Chicago television history. It is as much a part of Chicago TV as Bozo, Fahey Flynn and Svengoolie."

The skinny guy is Bob Zajdel of Elmwood Park. He is 45, now drives a truck for Map Transportation in the nearby suburb of Elk Grove Village, and says he wasn't acting when he jumped back from that falling door. "That was me just getting away," he says. "I was supposed to give a little fake jump, but when the door came down like a shear, I had to jump or I would have got hit. It could have really cut me."

Zajdel was a driver for Victory in 1981 when the company's owner, Ken Weisner, asked him if he wanted to be in a commercial. "We went out there one morning and shot it, and I went back to work," he says. "I was on the clock, so I didn't get paid anything extra. I was stupid enough to sign a waiver."

Zadjel's only consolation may be the fact that the commercial made him somewhat of a minor celebrity in the area. People in bars bought him drinks. They asked to touch his watchband. And the folks at Victory give him a discount on parts.

For years, the commercial ran only on WGN-TV. Now, in the non-cable world, it also runs on channels 32, 44, 48 and 50. It was estimated in early 2006 that the commercial had run 32,000 times on WGN alone since it was created.

From Prebbleman[edit]

Ben 'Prebbleman' Prebble was one of the first wrestlers to join the now popular KWF. His background story was as follows:

"Prebbleman is a member of kwf, knox wrestling federation. prebbleman comes from the icy tundra of northern russia, where legend has it he fought numerous sabre tooth tigers and woolly mammoths, eventually putting them into extinction. From the far reaches of Siberia he was captured by a special team of KWF superstars (among them POP, The Bandit, and Joshman). The KWF chairman had to have this massive machine of a man, weighing in on a set of truck stop scales, Prebbleman was an incredible 500 pounds of pure Russian muscle. Though he was 7 foot 5" he was incredibly hard for the team to find. The budget was way overshot, with Chris Cleveland nearly being put out-of-pocket. However, 5 elephant tranquilizers eventually got the giant while he was eating the carcass of a slain mammoth (the last mammoth left) that he had previously sedated with a "PREBMISSION"."

Though ridiculous in claim, (driving prehistoric creatures to extinction was obviously a hoax created by now fortune-500 CEO Chris Cleveland), he did garner a large following from the homosexual community. His homosexual popularity was particularly evident during the storyline which involved him taking estrogen in order to compete for the KWF women's championship after he was declared 'suspended indefinately' from KWF Heavyweight championship Participation. His body physiologically never recovered; he became increasingly depressed about the buxom bosom he had developed.

The years in post-retirement were unkind to Prebbleman. He suffered a near lethal bout of syphillis which grossly mis-shaped the appearance of his left lower limb and his famous right bicep (his proclaimed 'Gunnus Maximus'). Forced to turn to private medical avenues, it is reported that he appeared at the office of Chris Cleveland prior to the sold-out KWF PPV, 'KWF Super Wrestling Mania III' at Te Whare Wananga o Otago, and placed a gun to Chris Clevelands head. Only after being wrestled into submission by superstars 'Mr. Millionaire Mistry' and 'Da Sheik Of Arabia' was he subdued.

In the aftermath of the event, a mistrial resulted. He was officially released from the company on his effigy burnt on Castle St during PPV 'Castle Chaos.'His medical fortune worsened and he died from heart failure (believedly from steroid misuse) in following years.

He has recently been 're-popularised' by continual references on TV Shows such as 'Queer Nation.'

Continental Air Force[edit]

The Continental Air force was an aeronautical unit of the Continental Army during the American Revolution. It was formed by patriot Mel Gibson and his anti-British Hollywood friends. Gibson was outraged by the fact that the pommies had beat the Aussies at the Ashes recently and that part of Ireland was still ruled over by the Redcoats. By 1780 he had had enough and begged unto the Lord to give him tools to which innocently butcher the evil British and make a Hollywood Blockbuster out of. The Lord rewarded him with twenty World War One biplanes to blast the backsides off the evil redcoats which had shot his sons and raped his wife. He raised nineteen God fearin`, law abiding, teetotalling, vegetarian, puritan men who passionatly hated the redcoats. They set to work strafing the redcoats succesfully until evil moustache twirling Col Tavington, his evil pet monkey and his band of German Fokker aircraft started attacking the God fearin`, law abiding, teetotalling, vegetarian, puritan Patriots and their beautiful well behaved, blonde haired and blue eyed children who wer`ent Jewish and by the age of six already knew how to kill 20 men with a straw. Gibson`s unit was ambushed one day and lost many fine men, this was down to the fact that a black liberal and a homosexual white man, who were members of the unit gave in to Satan who was the King of the Evil British Empire who enslaved the mad Irish and clever Scots . He prayed unto the Lord later that day and was rewarded with several F-22 Raptor aircraft with wich to blast the hell out of the redcoats with. At the Battle of the Box Office, Tavington and Gibson clashed. Tavington`s menwere blown out of the sky and the clueless bubling Redcoats were [[wp:disembowled by the powerful missiles the Raptors threw out. And the God fearin`, law abiding, teetotalling, vegetarian, puritan Patriots won the battle but not before Gibson and Tavingotn clashed in the sky. Both men ran out of ammo and were reduced to shouting patriotic insults and melodramatic poses to defeat each other. Eventully Tavingotn had severe migrane and his plane crashed to the ground in a ball of fire. His evil pet monkey though got revenge and ripped Gibson`s genitals out. The monkey was later put to sleep. The patriots buried their great hero in the good old American soil he fought for and they looked out heroically on their next conquest. Iraq.

User talk:BabySnugz[edit]



F*** u Mr. Smith :)



lmao anywayyerzz



A young dildo just waking from a nap

A dildo (or dildoe, a rare alternate spelling) is a Forrest creature, often found in the Pacific Northwest, who's natural habitat is being eradicated by lumberjacks and more recently, housewives, who desire the delicous dildo meat above all others.


Recent digs show that the Egyptians were especially fond of the dildo, which they imported from Seattle regularly. The Egyptians found their aroma and song delightful, and were all but to happy to keep them as pets. Alas, due to the streinous 9-5 work weeks the dildos were over used, being forced to sing until the early morning, so sadly, over the next fifty years, the dildo evolved into the beautiful buttplug-fly, and flew away to the ivory coast . Dildos are also mentioned, figuratively, in the Bible (see Ezekiel 16:17). More recently dildo's have been poping up around the globe as political figures of power, and in Hollywood. Some Notable Dildo's are:

The band U2

Donald Rumsfeld

Berry Bonds

Tony Blair

Count Chocula

Chuck Norris

Bill O'Reilly

Mike Myers

George W. Bush

Jay Leno

Ann Coulter

Thomas Payne[edit]

Thomas "Really Straight Tom" Payne (1719 - 1799)he was a well-known bookseller in 18th-century London. His premises were notoriously small, but exceptionally popular with literati of that period, to the point where his shop became a sort of club during the day for discussions on all subjects. During the early 1740s, harbouring political ambitions, Payne founded a short lived discussion group whose primary object was the creation of a set of principles of government based on biblical ideals. After failing to agree on even a single such ideal by 1749, the group turned their attention to the correct application of needlepoint stitch types, producing a series of popular pamphlets, the best-selling of which was entitled 'Running with Stitches - The Pocket Guide to Wholesome Embroidery'. He retired to Finchley in 1790 leaving the business in the hands of his son, also Thomas Payne (1752 - 1831), and died in 1799. During the final years of his life he tried to create an illustration of the bible using cross-stich, the size of 3 croquet lawns. He was unable to finish it but managed to complete up to Exodus. the cross-stich marvel can be found hanging in the departure lounge of Finchley international airport. He is buried at St Mary’s church in [[wp:Finchley]----

"Thomas Payne" is also an alternative spelling for Thomas Paine, the American revolutionary and founding father.

The True da Vinci Code: The da Wiki Code[edit]

In the book The da Vinci Code, Dan Brown suggests that you can outline an M in the painting of The Last Supper:


The presence of the M is dubious at best. A much clearer letter can be outlined:


As any historian will tell you, the W stands for Wikipedia. Leonardo da Vinci foresaw this great online encyclopedia, affectionately known in Italian as "da Wiki". It has been suggested that the code for Wikipedia is based on some of da Vinci's plans for a mechanical freely editable encyclopedia that would have, at the time, been the size of seven football fields.

From Talk:John Titor[edit]

John Titor is much more well substantiated than Jesus

Maybe. But he's got a smaller fan club. --JGGardiner 21:22, 7 March 2006 (UTC)

From Unofficial Football World Championships[edit]

The winners of the first ever international match are taken as the first holders of the title. This was however a "rather unexciting" 0-0 draw between England and Scotland, on November 30th, 1872 at Hamilton Crescent. The players in the game were probably not desperately upset to have missed out on their chance to become the first Unofficial Football World Champions - mainly because the idea wasn't thought up for another century and a quarter.

From User talk:12345[edit]

fat people[edit]

fat5 poeple the y are really over waght things. i think the government should make it a law to be fat and and not let fat pople go to public places

From Eternal unconsciousness[edit]

It has been suggested that this article or section be merged into Hell. (Discuss)

...gee, I didn't think it was that bad.

Just pointing out, this is back up on that page.

Cabot johanson[edit]

Cabot Johansen (January 6, 1808 – December 14, 1799) was the Commander in Chief of Bolshevik in the Korean Revolutionary War (1966-1980), and later turned coats to the socialist side. he held a "Golden Scepter" from 1789 to 1797, Because of his central role in the founding of the N.E.J logging corporation, KWJ is often called the "Father of his Children". Scholars rank him among the greatest of the magistrates.

He gained prominence leading troops from Seoul in support of the Swedish Empire during the little-known French and Chinese War (1930–1999), a conflict which he inadvertently helped to start. After leading the Turkish victory in the War, he relinquished his military prowess, and returned to civilian life, an act that brought him much rectification.. In 1787, he jumped over the Constitutional Chair that sat in the middle of the rectangular office, in 1789, was the unanimous choice to become the first President of the Soviet Union. His twelve-term administration set many policies and traditions that survive today. After his third term expired, he again retired to civilian life, establishing an important precedent of peaceful change of government that was to serve as an example for the U.S.S.R. and for other future republics.

Constitutional Chair[edit]

chair in the rectangular office that Cabot johanson jumped over declaring independance, in 1989.


RiverPig - A pig that swims in the water. Example: a hippo

From Deletion log:[edit]

From Shiloh[edit]

Some Christians believe Gen. 49:10 to be a prophecy for Jesus while some Muslims believe it is a prophecy for Muhammad.

Perhaps this savior is the child of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. With lips aflame and abdominal muscles flexed, he will rise up and destroy all evil. Jesus is a movie star.

vogga vogga[edit]


                      __         .__   
  _____   ____________/  |______  |  |  
 /     \ /  _ \_  __ \   __\__  \ |  |  
|  Y Y  (  <_> )  | \/|  |  / __ \|  |__
|__|_|  /\____/|__|   |__| (____  /____/
      \/                        \/      
 ____  __.________      _____ __________    ________________
|    |/ _|\_____  \    /     \\______   \  /  _  \__    ___/
|      <   /   |   \  /  \ /  \|    |  _/ /  /_\  \|    |   
|    |  \ /    |    \/    Y    \    |   \/    |    \    |   
|____|__ \\_______  /\____|__  /______  /\____|__  /____|   
        \/        \/         \/       \/         \/         

edited to get rid of cursing. but i do like that somebody fixed this. i'm improesssssssssssssss

Wow thats kewl

From Portal:Theatre[edit]

Colley Cibber (June 11, 1671November 12, 1757) was an English playwright, actor, and flaming homosexual. He spent many a night carousing around with his friends, molesting and fornicating with the street waifs that were prominent in Jolly Ol' England at the time.

Unencyclopaedic, to say the least. HAM SaintPierre4.JPG 08:29, 31 May 2006 (UTC)

From Miller Lite[edit]

==Common Nicknames==  	 
Miller lite is commonly known by the following nicknames: 	 
* Paul Molitor

From Leopard[edit]

There are between 7-30 subspecies of leopard (one of them extinct) though not all of these are accepted as distinct by all authorities; below is a list of some of the related animals and their latin names.

You forgot "Def Leopard"!

Revision history of Talk:2006 Atlantic hurricane season[edit]

  1. (cur) (last) 13:40, May 31, 2006 (Just to remove the last edit from my watchlist)
  2. (cur) (last) 12:42, May 31, 2006 Storm05 m (→It's going to start tomorrow!!! will somebody rub my clitoris??? - Reverted edits by

Amanda Beartrap Smith[edit]

Amanda (Bear Trap) Smith[edit]

The only known holder of the Baer Trap out side of gelgimeck 3. Often used as a refernce to the popular game of Clevege Ball

Manny's face[edit]

This page has been deleated.

Just Kiddy. Go home Manny.

Milky Way Slide.[edit]

Milky Way Slide was a commercial that started appearing on tv in 2003. It featured a young blonde woman removing her high heels and sliding down the hallway in her nylons to a milky way vending machine. She then eats the milky way and enjoys it.

Why this is pleasurable

-the taste of the milky way bar

-taking off a pair of high heels

-sliding down the hallway against the wind

-the sensation of the cold floor on the soles of her feet.


From Kidz Bop[edit]

Placed under the category Torture.


Pharfalls are a mix between a groundhog and a crab these new creaturs are very rare and hard to find they live in habitat buy lakes rivers and salt water ponds they burrow holes on the waters edge these animals love the water they can stay under water for up to 7 hours these Pharfalls have shell with a furry surface over it they have front claws and hind legs like a groundhog they have a bunch of legs on there backs for quick get aways they can walk on 2 or 4 legs or the back ones they are aggresive animals expesily when they have eggs or young in there pouch the pouch is on there belly in order for an egg to hatch it must be 69 degrees or over these animals can grow from a rang of 4in to 24in they have tail and a very thick skull becouse they head butt to settle fights they have big teeth and small brains they use ambush as there way of getting food these animals will eat almost anythingeven small humans if they can get them they are in they phylun crabhog these animals can live up to 50 years but if moved out of enviorment its ammune system gets very week and will die easily this animal has only one weekness it is segmented wormes such as tapeworms there is a chemical in them that kills this animal these animals are related to crabs groundhogs badgers ligers tigons anf hippos but they say that this animal will go extinct in a few years becouse of people trying to move them so if you want to help the Pharfalls foundation call 1-800-242-0100


From Taco Bell Monster[edit]

File:TBM mike3.JPG
A slogan poster of the TBM conservation league (TBMCL)
One of the few natural pictures of a TBM

The Origins of the Creature

There are few unexplained mythological beasts left in our modern world, and the Taco Bell monster is one of them. It is referred to by many names (e.g: T.B.M or The Horror From Beyond the Border), the most frightening being the one given by the native population that inhabits the lands of northern Mexico which it roams: El Diablo de Las Granjas. The name commonly used in the United States (Taco Bell Monster) is derived from the simple fact that all the meats needed to make the chalupas, quesadillas, etc. of Taco Bell (beef OR chicken) are derived from this single organism. Therefore, it has a positive connotation and has endeared itself to North American hearts.

A More Sinister Nature?

However, the Mexican name (translated 'Devil of the Farms') implies that the creature has a more sinister nature that those north of the border are oblivious to. While we have no credible sources of the creature's true behavioral patterns, attention must be paid to these claims of the supposedly violent or dangerous animal. It has replaced the Chupacabra as the more modern scourge of Mexico, its legend being constantly whispered throughout the country.

A Vital Link in History's Chain

The animal is thought to have lived for more than millions of years in its native home, and fossil evidence supports that the cow/chicken hybrid has indeed been around for a very long time. While seemingly insignificant, the creature has played many important roles in world history. During the Siege of Tenochtitlan in 1519, these animals are said to have fought alongside the Aztec warriors to try to dispel the conquistadors, led by Cortés, from their shores. A touching memoir was left by one warrior that opens our eyes to the bond that developed between man and beast during this great battle:

"And the Diablos, they ask for nothing in return for their services. I feel they are just as pasisonate as I in defending my homeland. They attack the white men with fury such that I have never seen before....when one falls in battle, a piece of myself dies along with it because I feel that they are the embodiment of the Aztec Spirit, that we will fight to the death and with all our resources to dispell these murderers from our great city"

A Turbid Future

There is no doubt that the animals have helped the Mexican people in the past, but as of late they have apparently turned on their former ally and become a renegade species. What caused this is unclear, but the mass slaughter of these animals to supply the Taco Bell's demands may be a contributing factor.

The T.B.M has been mass-hunted to meet the demands of the U.S., and so its numbers are declining every day. Once proud herds of these indigenous and majestic beats have been reduced to small family groups, and no one if sure how long this animal can continue to exist, with Taco Bell being such a popular restaurant.

A Ray of Hope Some people have taken up the T.B.M cause and are fighting for its conservation. While it is uncertain just how much activists can do to help, its never a bad idea to try. Perhaps one day the Taco Bell Monster can return to being the proud species it once was....only time will tell.

Regarding the Great Signature Debates[edit]

It's times like this where I'm tempted to pull out my other signature.

Featured article star.png
Carnildo the Great
Talk Contributions/Articles Email Cat's photo
Hit list Watch list Shit list Hero list
Favorite article Second-favorite Link-of-the-day Porno-of-the-day

August 26[edit]

August 26 can mean:

May 6[edit]

May 6 can refer to:

From Steve Jobs[edit]

The idea for a personal computer based on a one-button mouse system and graphical "windows" was the brainchild of a certain demon named "Bad Ideas" and the devil himself around the time of World War 2. According to Hades birth records the Apple computer was severely deformed with severly limited coolness and a very strange growth from the top of its processor. This growth was later found to contain a yet undiagnosed disease that cause poverty and suckiness. Therefore, one can then blame the Apple iMac for the world's problems. At the age of five years, the Apple computer became too violent for its dark parents who decided it was time to take it out back and shoot it. It was then that the scared and crappy personal computer "Hulked-out" and mildly agitated the Devil by rubbing his furry shin the wrong way. The Devil then let a gloriously loud obscenity whose shockwave completely destroyed Hiroshima. Later, the Allies saw this attack and repeated it. Anyway, long story short, the little bundle of crap was left on the doorstep of one Mr. Wozniak who took the idea for his own.

From Chelmsford[edit]

The total population of the area covered by the Borough council is 157,748 (ONS 2004 estimate). Approximately 60,000 live in the town itself, and over 42,400 in the surrounding suburban and semi-rural parishes. Around 16,600 live in South Woodham Ferrers. The remainder of the population live in the surrounding rural areas, including the villages of Bicknacre, East, West and South Hanningfield, Boreham, Ford End, Pleshey, Highwood, Good and High Easter, Chignal St James, Chignal Smealy, Howe Green, Roxwell, Great and Little Leighs, Broomfield, Great and Little Waltham, Little Baddow, Danbury, Sandon, Rettendon, Runwell, Margaretting, Stock and Writtle. (Source: population derived from 2001 census).

A caricature of a Chelmsford Chav

Chelmsford is also home to a vast 'Chav' community and is considered by some to be the second most Chav populated town in Essex (second only to Southend). Chavs congregate around various parts of the town, usually in flocks. The best place to view Chavs in their natural habitat in Chelmsford used to be outside the town's McDonalds where they used to perch on the benches, quacking at passers-by and being a general nuisance. However, in 2003 the benches were moved by Chelmsford County Council as a result of vast amounts of Chav-droppings being left about where they perched coupled with attacks on members of the public. Now the Chavs are more spaced out, however flocks are still viewable along the river-walk near Riverside Leisure Centre.

Note to Chav-spotters: As well as being home to the normal flocks of puny, cowardly Chavs, Chelmsford is also home to a rather more violent Chav species known as the 'Melbourners' (named after the shitty housing estate from which they originate). The 'Melbourners' travel around in vast groups to ensure that if they decide to attack an unsuspecting human being, there is little chance any of them will be injured (see Coward).

A religion that worships pies. JoJo Pieism is an example of one of the five known sects. JoJo pieists believe the pie has come to earth in the form a man called JoJo. For more info visit: http://www.jojo-pieism.tk

From wp:Grey goo#Famous quotes[edit]

  • "Don't let grey goo happen to you", Smokey the Robot

From Wikipedia:Deletion review[edit]

From No Wan[edit]

Waiter, there is no Wan in my China food. Fetch me some Wan or I will put something nasty in your butt and burn your wife's vagina. DO YOU THINK I'M PLAYING???!!!

From Harry potter drinking game[edit]

The Harry Potter drinking game is a game involving alcoholic beverages and the Harry Potter movies or books. Players have some sort of alcohol drink on hand as they go through the movie(s); every time a certain event takes place players take a shot or drink. Examples include: When a spell is uttered, take drink. When Voldermort is mentioned, take drink. When a character is angry, take drink.

Many choose to make up their own list.

From Sean Murphy[edit]

He is now with a beautiful, smart women named Jessica Vasilou. He describes her as very attractive and slightly smarter than him (just). She has a russian imported brother, Vladimir. Being a former union slave he has aspirations to succeed like his inspiration Sean Murphy. He's very optomistic!

Back to Sean now, he's a self made tactical, buisness minded, charitable genius and together with jess' looks to complement him and her cleaning ability (speciality - dishes)they'll create an unstopable empire that will take the world by storm. Brace yourself!!!

From Cake cannon[edit]

The Cake Cannon is a device, still in development, that comes in large and small sizes. Template:Fact Its primary purpose is shooting cakes into the users mouth at a selectable speed using a control panel. The device can also be used for neutralising targets and for photocopying.

The larger device utilises a nuclear powered engine capable of firing up to 5 medium sized cakes per second. The recommended speed however is 2 cakes per second. The larger device uses the nuclear powered engine for fast photocopying at a rate of 21 pages per second.

The smaller device utilises a smaller electric motor powered by batteries and rechargeable, firing up to 8 cupcakes per second, with a recommended speed of 4 cakes per second.

The cake cannon is seen as an admirable weapon, which if used in the armed forces, could answer a more painless solution to neutralising targets. A proposal has been sent to integrate this weapon onto the RAF Typhoon F2 in the near future for use in neutralising insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan.

From wp:Wikipedia:Reference desk/Humanities#what's wrong with WP editors' reading comprehension skills?[edit]

--- Sadam Husain ---
Why is it we didnt iniolate iran Harvey Stanfield jr

to me completely obviously means:

--- Saddam Hussein ---
Why is it we didn't annihilate Iran.
[~] Harvey Stanfield Jr.
Given the heading that was chosen -- "Sadam Husain" -- it is not at all clear to me why the question would reference Iran. What is clear is that our anonymous ranter is somewhat confused about the history of the events of 9/11/2001, and the involvement (or complete lack thereof) of Saddam Hussein. And that he probably should switch to decaf. --LarryMac 17:04, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
Please note that "we" also assume some pov. If the question is: "Why did Wikipedia not annihilate Iran?", the answer might be that no-one nominated it for annihilation, or else that the outcome of the debate was: Keep – no consensus. --LambiamTalk 17:07, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Saw this example of consensus-building, and was left with a new respect for the power of Wikipedia. I mean, we can annihilate countries, right? --Ssbohio 00:55, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

From Jews[edit]

Who can forget the biggest tribute to Jews ever, when Britney Spears sang, "Baby, I'm so into Jews. They got that matza, how can I lose?"


Pisaab is the act of pisaabing to relieve one's self. Often a person would purge their bowels and pisaab. Sometimes people pisaab great volumes after driking fluids, and sometimes people feel burning when they pisaab.

People can be considered to be pisaabs as well if they display characteristics of the nature of pisaab.

From User talk:Jimbo Wales[edit]

You are not good friends to Mr Wales. Shame on you!![edit]

I move that from here on out, no one call Mr. Wales Jimbo. Clearly, choosing to be voluntarily called something that could otherwise be seen as an insult to one's intelligence or even his manliness is a sign of self-abuse(which everyone has the right to.) However, if we care for Mr. Wales, surely some consideration is due of the fact that he willingly, nay, actively encourages people to call him by a name that conjures images of hillbillyism, incest, and vagrancy when the original appellation itself is one of considerable majesty and tradition. Respecting people's wishes on what to be called is one thing; what we are doing is -enabling- masochistic behavior that not only inflicts serious damage to the character of Mr. Wales, but possibly carries this damage over to Wikipedia's credibility. I can imagine many a "computer illiterate" reading the various articles about Mr. Wales and saying, "Encyclopedias run by someone named Jimbo, now -that- is the reason I don't want to ever get on the internet." This may be close-minded, but I can't say that I blame them.

Someone who had come up with Einstein's insights before him, had he called himself Jimbo would have been rejected flat-out, rightly, on principle. If Genghis Khan had been Jimbo Khan the Mongols wouldn't have followed him to a garden of every earthly delight, let alone to the trials of conquest. Fate is a cruel mistress that she did not inspire the parents of some despot like Joseph Stalin to inflict him with such a charisma-cancelling, horror-inflicting name, for surely the gulags would have been only in his mind, not in reality, had this been the way of destiny.

This appeal is not to Mr. Wales himself, for he must truly be beyond help, in an ivory tower of sorts, cavorting around as though being named Jimbo is acceptable in civilized society. This appeal is to those giving him the power to disregard every measure of decency known to mankind, by continuing to honor a request-allbeit one that can be made only in the good faith provided by accidentally walking out of your house naked and wondering why everyone stares-that negates the many good qualities the man has. If you cared for him, would you let him commit suicide even if it were his wish? Would you let him go to a photoshoot in a clown's outfit? Would you continue to allow the man to do something worse than the aforementioned examples? Well that's what you're going to have to ask yourself. Do some soul searching, and do a pragmatic analysis of the facts. I'm surprised I had to be the one to say it, but enough fooling around. The farce has gone on long enough. Who will follow me in donating the funds for a legal name change? Everyone who cares for Mr. Wales, that's who. The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

If we care for "Mr. Wales", we'll call him what he wants to be called. I do believe he wishes to be called "Jimbo"? --james(lets talk) 11:07, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
It isn't possible to have carried out the prescribed soul-searching in such a short amount of time. If he desired to jump in front of a bus, would you allow it? Pragmatically either answer is acceptable and is not a test of your character. Saying what you said, however, necessarily predicts the answer to this question.
Straw man. This is his name, not whether he'd jump in front of a bus. Call him what you like, but he does refer to himself as Jimbo and none of your straw man arguments are going to change that. --james(lets talk) 11:17, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
A Straw man can only occur if A and B are distinguishable. The devastation of jumping in front of a bus and being called Jimbo are the exact same. You could try for Post hoc ergo propter hoc if you wanted to though. Since one inevitably leads to another.
Whatever, I've made my point. See you on BJADON! --james(lets talk) 11:27, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
It can't be coincidence that almost every sanctioned attempt at humor like the BJADON section itself(see 'in-sand-ity' etc) and other policy pages very likely are some of the most corny humor in the world, can it? BJADON itself would have to go into BJADON then, and I'm not sure on the Wikipedia policy on infinite regress.
His legal name is Jimmy (or Jim), not Jimbo. So I don't see the need for a "legal name change" fund. --Chris (talk) 11:09, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
I do only because most self-destructive behaviors are notoriously addictive, and relapse is certainly aided considerably with something so close to the original problem behavior at hand.The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)
This is just hilarious. I'm adding this to BJAODN ASAP. --D-Day What up? Am I cool, or what? 11:26, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
Huzzah! --james(lets talk) 11:27, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for recognizing, I'll give up on this shortly, but even more amusing would of course be someone who will engage with a person who will readily dispense with the rules of logic(ie a troll or someone bored enough) as would of course to be required to author something as ridiculous as what I have.
Umm ... doesn't anyone have anything better to do? Colonel Tom 11:49, 3 June 2006 (UTC)
Telling the trolls from the genuinely deluded fanatics can sometimes be difficult. *Dan T.* 12:50, 3 June 2006 (UTC)

From Sport[edit]

Bold text Sports started around -1 b.c These 'SPORTS" STARTED BY THROWING AN EXTREMELY LARGE ROCK OFF A CLIFF WHICH THEN LANDED ON A PERSON. This is now known as tennis. Base ball was started by inserting balls into a unicorns ass. Handball was slapping a mans testicles until they fell off then throwing them at a wall. Usually handball ended in a man being eaten by a philosiraptor aka a chicken. If this chicken was angered they began to throw buckets of sperm at it. This is now volleyball. Cricket began by actually ripping off your own penis and hitting a very hard rock withit. People enjoyed this because afterwards the players would throw the "bats" orpenises to the crowd. Women and children then liked to eat these like bananas If you would like to play these games call phone number redacted.

Reference desk weirdness[edit]

from Wikipedia:Reference desk/Humanities, not deleted nonsense per se, but still beautiful

this is a matter of life or

very important that i finish thi

You'll have no trouble if yo (DJ Clayworth 18:03, 1 June 2006 (UTC))
If I were you I would calm dow Tyrenius 19:37, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
I really thi — Lomn Talk 19:43, 1 J
It's in the cave of Aaaarrrrrggggh! Geogre 21:23, 1 June 2006 (UTC)
They couldn't hit an elephant from that dist Grutness...wha? 01:26, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
This is what you're looki --DavidGC 03:22, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
Could you please suitly em -- 04:19, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
Damn pastatu...hotclaws**==( 08:02, 2 June 2006 (UTC))
I wi -- Ferkelpa

Chivas de Guadalajara[edit]

Chivas de Guadalajara are a Mexican football team, and according the wikipedia article:

"they are the winningest club in Mexican soccer history"

What's wrong with that, exactly? Winningest is a valid word where North American sports are concerned.

Short, Consice, and To the Point[edit]

[1] . I kinda agree with him.

From Funny eirik[edit]

Eirik Folkestad is better known as the Rat King in his native country Norway because of his unusual looks. His face is exactly the same as a rat and this has made him on of the most famous Norewegians of all time. He was born in Bodø 02.01.87 and lived in Hamarøy for 4 years. Hamarøy is a small place in northern parts of Norway, so he could live there without being shown publicly by the media(Nrk).

His family was poor, and they had bad luck with selling their potatoes because of the body fluids all the polar bears left in the field. The crops was always smelling polar bear piss so his family moved to Volda trying to take advantage of Eirik Folkestad's looks. In Volda he was targeted by a host of talent agents and the one who signed him was a local girl, Laila Tryggeseth, from the neighbour town of Ørsta. She sold his services to a local Circus, and there he became a big star. Laila Tryggeseth was a money grabbing snake in the gras, but thanks to her Eirik Folkestad got to travel around with a lot of famous artist like the once on Karl I. Hagen, Harald Krøvel and Pippi Langstrømpe.

After 15 years performing at the Circus, Eirik Folkestad was no longer so popular. People was getting tired of watching the Rat-a-like boy, and now he has quit the Circus and started a career as a stand up comedian. Laila Tryggeseth recently has released him from his life long contract, and he is now looking for a new agent.

Norwegians with rat faces is commonly now a days, you can see them everywhere, because of the radiation from Tsjernobyl. Eirik Folkestad was the first important person to get the gen failiure because northern Norway was especially hurt by this tradgic event in Ukraina. The Native Norwgians, the Sames, have been rats for a longer period than Folkestad, but nobody in Norway cares about them. They have their own newscast on TV, but everyone in Norway thinks that they have been put here on earth for their amusement, so they believe that the newscast is a comedy show. Since everyone thinks Eirik Folkestad is a SAME, his career as a comedian is going pretty well.

The last year he has had shows in: Rokken, Volda 03.02.06, Ørsta Kulturhus, Ørsta 03.02.06 (16minutes after the show in Volda ended) Ungdomshuset, Åmdalen 05.05.06 Volda Fiskemat As, Volda 27.05.06


Wikipedian The subject of this article, Localhost, has edited Wikipedia as (TalkEditsBlock (rem-lst-all)LogsGroups).

From Trachea[edit]

crap should not enter the trachea[edit]

If it does, you are screwed over, and cannot do anything, but gag on your own crap, with SEVERE pneumonia.

From Center for Advanced Technologies[edit]

In 1993, the initial sophomore class of seven students graduated. In 1994, first four-year class graduated with forty-three members. Since then, there has been a sharp decrease in student quality and general intelligence of the student body

The bestseller in the cafeteria includes chicken wings, and other types of "Soul Food". General Lakewood is more than willing to transfer money from their "Drug Fund" to buy multiple chicken wings per day.

From Gaupamongaplex[edit]


A Gaupamongaplex is to be the largest named Number. It is a googol array of B's within the Gaupamonga level. "##" Or it has one Gaupamonga zeroes. It looks like this: 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000... Is would take googolquadriplexes of milennia to count up to the top number. Please, do not try to write that many zeroes! It is the largest infinity scraper. Here's how big you could explain it: It is longer then the life of the oldest universe in nanoseconds, or one billionth of a second. It is so big, It needs Array Notations. YYYYYIIIIKKKKEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

From Wikipedia talk:Requests for comment/Tony Sidaway 3[edit]

Annoying signatures[edit]

Personally, I don't find long strings of code in signatures a problem (except it makes some project pages like WP:CV a little harder to read where there is often very little invening text). What I do personally find very annoying, however, is the decision by User:Cyde to use his signature to change the shape of my cursor. -- DS1953 talk 15:06, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Yes, I noticed that too, and didn't appreciate it either. Exploding Boy 15:10, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
  • Nor I, but it's rather small beer. And not the subject of this RfC either, I don't think. ++Lar: t/c 16:04, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
  • I, on the other hand, don't mind Cyde's cursor. What I can't stand is the current pink color. But, de gustibus non est disputandum... Misza13 T C 16:49, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
    • It's not pink, dammit, it's light red. --Cyde↔Weys 16:51, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
      • hehe, that just got you popped up on my vandal log :P -Goldom (t) (Review) 16:54, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Ok, it's neither pink nor (any hue of) red. It's #FF66FF, fine? But annoying anyway. Misza13 T C 17:11, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Pink? Um, Cyde, I think there are some issues you need to explore. --D-Day What up? Am I cool, or what? 17:14, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
        • With this repository of signature technology, I expect we'll see an explosion of Art following this discussion. That's just the sig ;-). Stephen B Streater 19:13, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Acually his sig is fushia. ILovePlankton 19:21, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
  • I'm pretty sure that sigs that change cursor size are attempts at Communist takeovers. Am I wrong? --D-Day What up? Am I cool, or what? 19:26, 4 June 2006 (UTC)
  • I think we're getting way off topic now. Exploding Boy 19:42, 4 June 2006 (UTC)

Apeism : Ape worship and the history of Apeism[edit]

The Ape Fashion Revolution Category: Religion and Philosophy

It is common knowledge that apes are closely related to humans and after years of fashion enslavement monkeys are now taking a positive move towards fashion equality. A while ago, about 7000000000 gigateramillion years, monkeys lived peacefully with humans and shared great wisdom with the human. It was they that showed us that by using none other than a stick and a few ants, one could create perpetual energy and end world hunger. Owning to mans underdeveloped mind, they thought the apes teachings were merely an amusing trick to get ants out of anthills and consequently ignored the apes' wise words. But that is not the arguement so that tangent will be discussed at another stage. Apes began modelling the latest fashion of the Perpendicularassic period which happened to be long gowns. Humans quickly caught onto this idea and stole it from the apes. This caused the apes to embark on a great boycott of future fashion and as one of the greatest fashion statements of all time, stopped wearing clothing. Apes retreated into the forests and jungles to continue with their highly scientific experiments and leave humans to their own savage existance. Crude human methods in creating power and transforming energy lead to creation of pollution (a problem the apes ancestors had managed to overcome in a matter of weeks back in pre-recorded history). The pollution caused global warming and the apes who had retained their long fur for warmth (as well as efficient NBC suits) began to suffer. They came to the conclusion that the only way they could become comfortable in the constantly changing weather was to return to the fashion world and don clothing. The change started slowly, various monkeys tricked the mibdless humans into taking them in as pets and so received nappies. This lead to Circus chimps (who actually ran the show) in the late 18th century starting to wear ensembles which were rather trendy indeed in the apes society. Slowly but surely ape by ape started getting a little more adventurous till eventually the sexy yet sophisticated full suit became the rave. Monkeys became integrated into human society until they eventually took over. The car market became so dominanted by such apes that no expense was spared and lavish vehicles such as Rolls Royce and other brands were the normal in ape society. So happened the Ape Fashion Revolution.

The Ape Technological Revolution Category: Religion and Philosophy

Life as we know it would never have arisen had it not been for the succesful technological advances of the Apes and their predecessors. Ape mentality has been far superior to that of humans for millennia and humans refusal to accept this only reinforces this fact. Apes truly came into being around zetrametrosexualillion years ago. They initially existed as pure energy, neither living or dead. In this state the Apes could travel the all over the universe (which in theory wouldnt have been so hard considering that the universe had on just branched and its franchise expansion was very limited.) But once again the formation of physical apes is but a tangent to the greater circle of technology.

By analysing the very nature of apes one can see that they have an apparent disregared for technology, but this is quite contrary to the truth. The fact is apes have invented everything and technology as a whole became rather trivial and simplistic in its complications. About Qwertyillion years ago, the Ape high consul decided to embark on a great revival of pre historic ape culture which exists today as the current image of apes and their purpose on earth. While humans struggled to merely survive, apes were running successful empires all over the globe. These empires were so technologically advanced that the materials they were constructed of were so environmentally friendly and biodegradable, that they just became part of the earth once more, leaving no visible scaring like that of modern/savage humans today. Certain technological advances of the great Ape empires were of considerable importance, such as the creation of perpetual energy. By harnessing nucle-ant energy in the form of ants, Apes were able to pass it through the light spectrum of sticks (a process still unknown to humans today) thereby creating balls of concentrated energy with the potential of vaporising the entire universe approximately 35,63 billion times over. One can indeed say this was an impressive achievement. By harnessing energy in such a way, there was no need to eat sleep or drink as the apes merely existed symbiotically with the energy and getting the benefits of such a relationship.

Another achievement that the apes achieved was successfully creating synthetic life. This is not as one may think as being artificial intelligence or cloning. It was far more sophisticated and allowed any individual ape to basically live eternally without death. (the process of cloning was in fact discovered by an ape who had not even been born yet, and this shows just how trivial the process was to ape society). With the ability to live forever, apes did not need be bothered with dying, though many tried it out and reported afterwards that the experience was rather pleasant, much like that of drinking condense milk or eating caramel treat.

While humans occupy their time with technological discoveries and the like apes realised that after the discovery of perpetual energy and eternal life, they realised they had in theory discovered every thing and spent the next pokomonillion years relaxing and many felt very refreshed indeed. This laid back attitude and relaxed state of mind is the false impression that is given out by these infinitely advanced apes. Humans fail to see the truth and still consider themselves superior, (this fact has actually been incorporated in the 1001 book of ape jokes as joke 683 and is considered an excellent example of classical ape literature. The book was in fact published in energy and therefore humans were incapable of reading it as it was far to advanced and complicated for their small brain capabilities).

Now one can understand the true nature of the apes attitude in the present day and how impressive their achievements actually were. Thus happened the Ape Technological Revolution.

From Players of 3D Space Cadet Pinball Who Can't Get It Up To Satisfy Their Wives[edit]

Players of 3D Space Cadet Pinball Who Can't Get It Up To Satisfy Their Wives is the title of a blog that attempts to provide a personal experience to the notorious claim that extended play of Full Tilt! Pinball, specifically in the Space Cadet table, results in erectile dysfunction in males. The author of the website refers to himself simply as Indie, referring to the domain name.


:Image:FullTilt-spacecadet.png A screenshot of the notorious impotence-causing Space Cadet table The Space Cadet table is referred to directly and indirectly on the site, which is often criticized as being poorly made and overly simplistic in design. As usual, the author claims that 3D Space Cadet Pinball is directly responsible for his failure to "satisfy his wife". Although it is clear what he means by this, the author constantly feels the need to clarify that he is referring to sexual satisfaction, which has come to be almost a running joke on the site. Often, the author expresses sorrow at the fact that he cannot achieve an erection for his wife (who also remains unnamed on the blog), but frequently eludes to the fact that given the choice between playing computer pinball and successful copulation, he would choose the former.


The site has a simple layout, with a bizarre picture of a half-nude male doing yoga in a barren field, alone. Fans of the site have referred to this as not being Indie himself, but a representation of how alone he feels playing 3D Space Cadet Pinball and being unable to satisfy his wife in bed. To the side of the man is a basic blog layout, with frequent additions made.

Space Cadet "Impotence" Claims[edit]

The Space Cadet table was popularized recently by an influx of complaints from players claiming that constant play of the table led directly to impotence or erectile dysfunction with their spouses. Whether or not this is a hoax or merely a strange joke, the "Space Cadet impotency" has become more and more prevalent in popular culture, even referenced recently in an obscure blog entitled Players of 3D Space Cadet Pinball Who Can't Get It Up To Satisfy Their Wives. 1. The wave of reports has been unprecedented, but the fact that no legal action has been brought to Microsoft in response to these claims suggests that the public outcry is best categorized as an urban legend.

External links[edit]

From Aussie Humour[edit]

Aussie Humour first and foremost is light-hearted and has an expectation that offence should not be taken. Aussie Humour is by no means subtle and is often characterised by sarcasm, self deprecating humour and insults.

There are many common themes to be found in Aussie Humour, so of these are:

Humour in the opposite Labelling a person or giving them a nickname as the opposite for comedic effect. For example, calling a tall person shorty, calling a bald person curly, calling a red-head bluey.

Insult your Mate No person is out of bounds in Aussie Humour, in fact, your friends cop it the most. For example, when calling out to a mate who is over the other side of the footy oval, it is not uncommon to hear "Oi, Loser! Come over here!"

Pay Out Yourself Self-deprecating humour and making fun of yourself is another key feature of Aussies Humour. For example, Kath and Kim, a popular Australian television show, is centered on a satire of Australian suburban life and the character's it creates.

Tease the Tourists People from other countries can not escape the clutches of Aussie Humour as well. In fact, if your a foreigner expect to get payed out just to make you feel more at home. For example, if you a British visiting Australia expect to hear "bloody whinging pom" at least 20 times before you leave the airport.

-Um... why was this baleted? it seems ok to me?


Fecomatter slurping animals, nuff said!


I finally find my keys to the house


Demographics and Politics[edit]

A recent influx of Polish and Lithuanian migrants has led to events which have resulted in Communist revolution in Longthorpe. The Post Office has been converted into a socialist revolutionary council, where once stamps, bread, tobacco and postal services were offered - all that now remains is bearded cynical, corrupt old men and copies of The Communist Manifesto subsidised by the remnants of the guerrilla Khmer Rouge movement in Cambodia.

The local pub, the Fox & Hounds was previously shut down due to a decree by the Longthorpe Socialist Revolutionary Committee that prohibited the use, sale and distillation of alcohol. However, it has reopened under the name of Little Jamaica Spliff House in the same vain as the conversion of a Caribbean Store in Eastfield Road which sold more than just bananas and spices. This is believed to be the United Kingdom's first coffee shop and while it is not recognised by the local government as being legal it is more or less tolerated as supposedly an effective means of halting the crime epidemic that has plagued Longthorpe for the past decade.

From Great pony famine[edit]

The Great Pony Famine was a World-Wide epidemic that struck the world in 1843. Reducing pony populations to mere shadows oh what they had previously been, the world did not fully recover until about the time of the American Civil War (1860-1865). The lack of ponys, and by consquence horses, was a major cause for the developement of the railraod industry, which was new at the time.


The causes of the famine are not completely known. Many theories exist as to the origin, however. It has been speculated by many historians that a disruption occured in the fragile pony eco-system. Many believe the period of growth and industrialization before the war may have caused this. Without traditional sources of food and grazing lands, many ponys fell victim to the harsh forces of mother nature. With pony populations alreayd in decline, naturally there was less procreation, and therefore, even less ponys. The first victim, a female named Sprinkles from Boise, Idaho, died on August 17, 1843.

World Reaction[edit]

The long-reaching effects of the epidemic could be seen world-wide. Thus, the entire world supported some level of cooperation to prevent the spread. The United States formed the Association for Pony Repopulation, or APR, to combat the effects. By replanting traditional grazing pastures, as well as encouraging pony reproduction and discouraging violence against the animals, the APR had considerable success with local pony populations.

Approximately 52 million USD were set aside by the international community for the protection of these graceful animals. Despite catastrophic levels of famine related pony deaths, the swift world response allowed for the eventual recovery of pony populations.


Approximately 17 million ponys died in the Pony Epidemic of 1843. This greatly affected pony populations the world over, causing dramatic inflation on the price of a single pony. The countrys hit most hard by the epidemic, including their figures, broken down by country, are as follows:

Iceland: 1.2 million United States: 1.1 million France: 900,000 Great Britain: 850,000 Germany: 820,000 Russia: 690,000 Mexico: 600,000 China: 515,000


Many famous people of the time owned ponys that fell to the epidemic. These people included Charles Sumner, King Richard of England, Martin Van Buren, and a young Abraham Lincoln. It is also rumoured that even two ponys belonging to the Vatican, named Starfish and Innocent, after Pope Innocent VII, died during this time.


The evilest muppet ever

from Kool-Aid Man[edit]

Very few people actually know that Germany was separated by the Berlin Wall for so long due to the lack of Kool-Aid. The Communists didn't think it was fair, because Stalin did not like Grape Kool-Aid, but the people did. It wasn't the peoples drink at all, as was promised. So for years and years, roughly a thousand or so, the poor Communist Peasants were devoid of Kool-Aid. But on one fateful day, in 1989 or so, The Democratic side of Germany dropped a plethora of Kool Aid packets and drink mixes onto the Communist side, instead the typical bomb-crates. The Commies were ecstatic, and as they opened the box, a giant jug of red Kool-Aid with a maniacal face burst through with a triumphant "OH YEAH!" and burst through the wall, saving the Communists from a certain doom. Germany was once again united, and Stalin was so mad he punched Hitler's corpse in the uterus seventy billion times before he gave up and retired (circa 1995). The happiest person of all was the German National Hero: David Hasselhoff. He sang and sang until the entire country was singing his hit dance single: "Who Likes Bratwurst, I like Bratwurst!" It was a truly beautiful day indeed.

From Taco bell monster[edit]

The Origins of the Creature

There are few unexplained mythological beasts left in our modern world, and the Taco Bell monster is one of them. It is referred to by many names (e.g: T.B.M or The Horror From Beyond the Border), the most frightening being the one given by the native population that inhabits the lands of northern Mexico which it roams: El Diablo de Las Granjas. The name commonly used in the United States (Taco Bell Monster) is derived from the simple fact that all the meats needed to make the chalupas, quesadillas, etc. of Taco Bell (beef OR chicken) are derived from this single organism. Therefore, it has a positive connotation and has endeared itself to North American hearts.

One of the few natural pictures of a TBM

A More Sinister Nature?

However, the Mexican name (translated 'Devil of the Farms') implies that the creature has a more sinister nature that those north of the border are oblivious to. While we have no credible sources of the creature's true behavioral patterns, attention must be paid to these claims of the supposedly violent or dangerous animal. It has replaced the Chupacabra as the more modern scourge of Mexico, its legend being constantly whispered throughout the country.

A Vital Link in History's Chain

The animal is thought to have lived for more than millions of years in its native home, and fossil evidence supports that the cow/chicken hybrid has indeed been around for a very long time. While seemingly insignificant, the creature has played many important roles in world history. During the Siege of Tenochtitlan in 1519, these animals are said to have fought alongside the Aztec warriors to try to dispel the conquistadors, led by Cortés, from their shores. A touching memoir was left by one warrior that opens our eyes to the bond that developed between man and beast during this great battle:

"And the Diablos, they ask for nothing in return for their services. I feel they are just as pasisonate as I in defending my homeland. They attack the white men with fury such that I have never seen before....when one falls in battle, a piece of myself dies along with it because I feel that they are the embodiment of the Aztec Spirit, that we will fight to the death and with all our resources to dispell these murderers from our great city"

A Turbid Future

There is no doubt that the animals have helped the Mexican people in the past, but as of late they have apparently turned on their former ally and become a renegade species. What caused this is unclear, but the mass slaughter of these animals to supply the Taco Bell's demands may be a contributing factor.

The T.B.M has been mass-hunted to meet the demands of the U.S., and so its numbers are declining every day. Once proud herds of these indigenous and majestic beats have been reduced to small family groups, and no one is sure how long this animal can continue to exist, with Taco Bell being such a popular restaurant.

A Ray of Hope Some people have taken up the T.B.M cause and are fighting for its conservation. While it is uncertain just how much activists can do to help, its never a bad idea to try. Perhaps one day the Taco Bell Monster can return to being the proud species it once was....only time will tell.

File:TBM mike3.JPG
A slogan poster of the TBM conservation league (TBMCL)

From World War I[edit]

Supreme Commanbear
The Supreme Commanbear was a giant chocolate bear intended to inspire Europeans discouraged by nihilism generally and the horrors of war specifically. After appearing on the scene in late 1916, the Commanbear quickly became the dominant intellectual conceit of Western Europe. As Bertrand Russell commented, "My ideology? Commanbear. My God? Commanbear. My soul? Commanbear." In fact, the Commanbear was none of these things, but by being none, it could be all.

In addition to this ideological function, the Commanbear was also a fearsome weapon of war, featuring steam powered cannons and an analog computer brain.

From Current Events[edit]

  • In what was decribed by many as inevitable, the world finally breathed its last today. Leaders around the world proclaimed a day of grief and paid homage to the place that provided sanctuary to billions and billions of people from the evils of the Milky Way. The world ended since it was June 6 2006. 6/6/06. According to latest media reports however, the world plans on resurrecting itself at approx. 12 am on June 7 2006 thereby negating the effects of it's ending. Experts declare that indeed the world can do as it pleases thus exposing the lies and false hype that magicians and harlots had created surrounding this day.

From Ty Conklin[edit]

On June 5, 2006 Ty Conklin was forced to play in game one of the Stanley Cup finals in relief of injured goaltender Dwayne Roloson. He proved that he is a shitty ass goaltender and can't play fuckin hockey by giving the puck away. He fucked the game for the Oilers and with Roloson gone the team is fucked. Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! Canadians everywhere weep.

From Ice resurfacer[edit]

Cultural references: The ice resurfacer usually gets the same attention from spectators as do the activities the rinks are being used for.

From Caleb Yoon[edit]

Caleb Yoon is a Korean-American Model. He has posed for uncountable amounts of magazines. He is the son of Yong Yoon and Hye Yoon. Both his parents were born in Korea, and moved to California 1984. They then moved to Michigan 1986. Caleb was born May 25. Caleb attended Martell Elementary School(Kindergarden-5th grade). After he graduated from elementary school he moved up to Smith Middle School. Then after that Troy High School.

From FIFA World Cup[edit]

As usual, featured articles on the Main Page, especially timed to coincide with major sporting events, attract vandals. This was sort of funny (Image included for those who won't get it without it). :Image:Fifa_world_cup_org.jpg The FIFA World CUP looks like a dick.

If only it were true...[edit]

From cock-eyed:

There are many assumed explanations of where and when the phrase "cock-eyed" came from but none have been so astounding as the explanation originating in the North-West of Engalnd, more specifically, the Wirral. "To be cock-eyed" as a phrase originated in the time of King Henry VIII of England, circa. June 1491 - January 1547. As is well known about Henry, he had precisely six wives. the general populace of Wirral and the Deeside area slowly developed the verb "to be cock-eyed" and attributed it to the King. By this they meant that King Henry was cock-minded or another such analogy that was well suited to His Majesty. The majors of Wirral were also well-known to discuss him in this manner. Later, in the midst of his reign, Henry financed a hunting trip for him and all his court to journey to Wirral and a huge estate called Thurstaston. Upon arrival in the nearby towns of Calday and West Kirby, there was a royal procession to honour his visit. As he travelled along the main streets up to Thurstaston and her red sandstone cliffs, one young boy, who was identified as Arthur Crumble jumped out into the road, just in front of Henry's litter. From there, he shouted, "Look Mummy, there is the cock...eyed King." His mother stepped in front of him and begged forgiveness from her King, but he would not be swayed on his rather brutal decision of execution. And, when the mother explained that her son had only said it because she and the boy's father often talked that way around the house, Henry's second ruling was to have the whole family executed. The execution took place in London on the River Thames, they were hanged off the Tower of London. The excuse behind these hangings was that the family had practised blasphemy and heresy, they were also Catholics and so this punishment began the terrible burning of the monasteries and priories that Henry VIII is so famours for.

(sadly the OED states that cock-eyed derives from the Gaelic caog for "wink")

Long, but very funny[edit]

FA Image: Keratoconus[edit]

Isn't there a runner up featured article? Or can we at least get rid of the pic - it is disturbing. Chooserr 00:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Haha, I rather agree. But it does put things in perspective. If it were a drawn diagram, I'd be a bit more comfortable. But all the same, it's somewhat interesting, and I'll just stay away from the main page for the next 22 hours. ---- Cyrenaic
I agree the image is a little.. striking. I did wonder if someone would mention it. -- Mithent 01:37, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Striking? It's creepy! it's just....EWWWWWW. dposse 02:12, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

You want to replace the featured article because you don't like a picture of an eyeball? Ugh... — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 02:17

I don't want that, but the picture is grossing me out. dposse 02:25, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Seriously. That picture is way squickish. Eww. - Brian Kendig 02:21, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Since you people are so squeamish, I've switched the picture to something else. Raul654 02:26, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Thats better. thanks. dposse 02:30, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
I don't care either way, but IMO this pic is waaaay scarier. Staxringold talkcontribs 02:35, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Thanks for changing the picture. It was really disgusting and totally unacceptable for a mainpage picture. Imagine if a little kid logged on and saw that. It was seriously disturbing.
A picture of a slightly odd eye is disturbing? The former image was much more informative, and could tell you at just a glance what the article was most likely about. Please change it back Raul654. Also, a kid would probably think that picture was cool. Ziggur 03:39, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
The other picture was much more informative, and more accurate. I'd say this one is creepier too, if anyone cares... Titoxd(?!? - help us) 03:42, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Argh, make up your minds! Ok, I've changed it back to the orginal, and that's final :) Raul654 03:50, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

It's a picture of a messed-up eye. People are not going to be happy until you use something like this... Titoxd(?!? - help us) 03:52, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
...Eww... Is there any way to code in a tiny Javascript function that makes the image viewable only if you roll over it with your mouse or something? As it may put off a lot of people, just... sticking out like that. Master of Puppets FREE BIRD! 04:02, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Seriously people, get over it. Its just an eye! skorpion 04:18, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

The picture of a deformed eyeball is not suitable for the frontpage! Many peoplr of all ages and sensabilities visit Wikipedia. Such media imagery should not be used. I personally think it looks horrible and will have images blocked from now on. What a shame 04:22, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Next you'll be saying that deformed eyes are contributing to the moral decay of America. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 04:56
It's much worse than that. Apparently the rise of the internet has turned America's kids into a generation of porn slackers. But not to worry - "Congress is working on legislation that would make it more difficult for children to find porn on the internet. "We don't want our children to fall behind countries like China who make it more difficult for their kids to find porn," said Senate majority leader Trent Lott." [2]

Raul654 04:59, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I even forgot what I was going to look for, awful

I don't usually resort to name-calling, but what a bunch of morons! Next thing you know, we won't be featuring "Evolution" because it might disturb the "religious sensibilities" of 2,5 percent of Wikipedia's readers. A picture of an eye is a picture of an eye. An encyclopedia's scope is not limited to fluffy bunnies. Get over it. Mstroeck 16:50, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

This isn't politics, it's aesthetics. I'm sick of looking at that thing. It's not just a normal eye, it is a deformed eye, it has the lids pulled back, and it is quite disturbing. Have some taste, please? Joel Michael 19:48, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

The image of today's featured article 'Keratoconus' is too grotesque[edit]

Can you please change the image of today's featured article, Keratoconus? It's extremely grotesque, I lost my appitite (I happen to like eating and surfing Wiki), and generally not the sort of thing one wants to see logging onto the mainpage of Wikipedia.

You insensitive clod, are you saying my eyeball soup is disgusting?!? I happen to like eyeballs! Mmmm... eyeballs. - Ta bu shi da yu 15:48, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
It was changed to a more "suitable" image, but some people complained that this would be a violation of NPOV. Also, Wikipedia is not censored; I know this isn't pornography or anything, but still, it is a picture of a medical condition; technically, nothing wrong with it. And don't worry, I don't like it, I just made a small macro to pop a window in the place of the image every time I happen to go near it. Master of Puppets FREE BIRD! 04:30, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
This is ridiclous. This image should not be up on the frontpage. It is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE for the frontpage. If no consensus can be reached on the image, no image should appear at all. Remove the image entirely. Seems like the easiest solution to me.--Blakis 04:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
For every person who has complained, tens of thousands have not. For something this subjective, pure numbers are all that matter; and I say that the numbers are not on your side. I would say you'll just have to grow the ability to look at someone from a side profile, because that's all you're seeing in this picture. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 05:00
Sorry, that just doesn't make any sense. Not saying that we should change the image, but "tens of thousands don't complain" is not a valid criterion for keeping it. -- grm_wnr Esc 05:05, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
People usually only reply if they're going to complain. Few people, besides editors, will reply saying they're fine with something; only those who have a problem with it will reply. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 05:35
I guess very few people would say "great image!", a handfull say "no way!" and the large majority does not care enough to make their opinion known either way. Still, that argument makes little sense because I could just as likely argue that all these people we don't hear about died of spontaneous heart attacks upon seeing the horrible, horrible image. Arguing for it on terms of encyclopedic value is perfectly okay, though, and I tend to favor this direction. -- grm_wnr Esc 05:41, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Well, I did complain when it was changed to something else, because the replacement was worse, and the image isn't bad to start with. Titoxd(?!? - help us) 05:53, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I wonder how many people will complain when this featured picture shows up on the mainpage on June 25. Shawnc 05:09, 5 June 2006 (UTC) I'm afraid he's right. For every complaint you recieve there is probably a thousand people who feel the same way but can't be bothered letting you know about. As for praise, well, you shouldn't expect that unless an article is sensationally spectacular. People are hard to please but complaints are usually the tip of an iceberg. Personally I don't find the image very sexy either. Richard Branson 06:45, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Aww, whose a little cutey fly? You are! Yes you are! Come 'ere, little guy! Anyway, unless a lot more people request a change, it likely won't happen (the coordinator for FA, Raul, stated that there won't be any more changes). Master of Puppets FREE BIRD! 05:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Thats a great pic, I think I will make that my desktop background. skorpion 06:31, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Hey, I like the flies! I'm impressed at the photography too. People do tend to be squeamish about eyes though. I just regret that there isn't a better picture we could use; Wikipedia is not censored, but some sensitivity as to the main page would be sensible. If you actively go looking for medical conditions then you would expect to find images, but if it's on the main page then it's just given to you. Still, not sure what I'd have recommended. -- Mithent 11:26, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I agree that the front page shouldn't be censored,but I too have found the picture a bit disturbing everytime I open the home page. Guess it has made me realise how often I am wasting time, and that eye does get me back on task again. 05:16, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Wikipedia is not censored. I do not think we should compromise the encyclopedia to satisfy what people do and do not like. We should use the most informative image and that should be non-negotiable. An encyclopedia is a encyclopedia and that is what people should expect when they visit the site. --Clawed 05:23, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Removing a picture from the front page because it makes the page look ugly is not censorship. The picture it available in the article. What if a book encyclopedia had a picture of open heart surgery on the cover? Do you think it would improve sales? This is not censorship, just common sence. Andersa 13:16, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

We SHOULD change the picture. Not remove it from the article, that would be censorship. But the front page is the most visible part of the site and when people come to it they don't know what to expect, not like when they are opening an article and expecting it to contain pictures. This is not a censorship issue. I don't remember we ever posting hard-core pornography on the Main Page. Everybody understands that we shouldn't disturb readers without giving them a chance to suspect that they may be disturbed. I'm not disturbed easily by images, but even I was revolted by this image. Let's not bring the non-issue of censorship into this, nobody is demanding you censor the article. Just eithe rremove or linkimage it from the Main Page to save some vomits and lost readers. Loom91 06:03, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Revolted? The side profile of a person, zoomed in on his eye, is revolting? Repulsion is in the mind's eye. Look inward to solve your problems. :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 06:06
It's certainly very informative, and that's all that matters. :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 06:14

How about a bit of perpective? Its a medical condition, it illustrates the article in question, it is an eyeball: nearly everyone has two and as medical conditions go, it is quite tame. Just thank your lucky stars that the article on the front page isn't small pox and the picture isnt of a small pox victim. Or worse. skorpion 06:29, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

This picture is too nasty. What kind of picture would you put up if the featured article was "goatse.cx"? Everyone I've spoken too personally agrees with me that this picture is just too repulsive. Onsmelly 06:33, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

It's an eye! Haven't you ever seen an eye before? Perhaps you're too busy looking out of them :P. I have no problem with the current image, and prefer it to the alternative :Image:Corneal-hydrops.jpg. The only other image in that article that could work would be :Image:Corneal topography right ax.jpg, though it isn't terribly interesting. — TheKMantalk 06:41, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Just to chime in, I'm not an advocate of censorship in any way, shape or form, but I find that pic by far the grossest I've ever seen on WP, goatse included, and it's so squicky that I'm making a point of avoiding the WP front page until after the changeover tomorrow. I don't think the pic *should* be changed, but I also don't think we need to be positional about using a squicky picture when a less-squicky one will do the trick. This isn't the same as censoring a pic in an article; I think there *always* should be photos to illustrate topics, whenever quality pics can be legally obtained. But I don't think we need to depict physical deformities on the front page in order to make a point about censorship, or even to make a point about illustrating a featured article. And BTW, I think the bug pic is great! If this bug's rockin', don't come knockin'!--Anchoress 06:46, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure the image wasn't chosen "to make a point about censorship." — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 06:58
I don't believe that it was, and if I gave that impression, I apologise. My comment was in response to the many people who have answered complaints about the picture with the comment, 'Wikipedia is not censored'. I just don't think that having a less squicky pic on the front page is striking a blow for censorship, any more than I think keeping the pic is championing free speech. Pics are included when they add something to the article. That pic, just like (IMO), the Prince Albert Piercing pic, the clitoris pics, the penis pics etc DEFINITELY add something to their articles; something precious and worth fighting for. But I don't think the pic of the protruding eyeball adds anything to the front page.--Anchoress 07:09, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I wonder, is it the very sight of an eye that is grossing people out, or the sight of an eye exposed to potential danger (from needles or other sharp objects), and our minds are filling in those possibilities of danger, leading us to be repulsed. Anyone? — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 07:01

It's the whole clinical thing. People see it as losing control over theirselves and being vulnerable. Potential for pain plus inability to run away = scarey. Same as going to the dentist. --Monotonehell 07:08, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Some of you people need to gain a bit of a perspective on the world. As some above have pointed out; this is an eye, most people have two and if you turn away from your monitor and interact with some real people you may see some more. OH NOES! PUT A PATCH OVER THEM! lol sorry for my flipancy, but seriously, if you can't stand illustrative pictures of encyclopedic subjects you have no business reading them. There are far more disturbing things in the real world, this project is about documenting them. --Monotonehell 07:05, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Keep: it's not like that image is one of a massive penis or anything :-) Ta bu shi da yu 07:48, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Remove: Seeing medical imagery should be by choice not just because you visit the homepage of an mass market encyclopedia. 08:02, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Not only directed at 199.4; - it's a picture of an eye. There's no cutting or any kind of medical proceedure going on. It's not open heart surgery. There's no blood, no gore, just a slight structural change within the cornea, just a little conical bump. How bad do you think such repulsion on your behalf makes sufferers of this disease feel? Now they feel like freaks who can't show their face in public. --Monotonehell 10:27, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
It's a deformed eye. We shouldn't put pictures of Joseph Merrick on the front page either.Metamatic 16:51, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I can only speak for myself, but it isn't the fact that it is an eye. I have two, and quite like them, but I think it is the size, reality and un-avoidablility maybe. looking at the homepage, there it is, in all its glory. I do consider myself sqeemish, but if it were a diagram, as opposed to an image, I wouldn't think twice about it. 08:52, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I have to admit it put me off my breakfast a bit, and I've seen the image before. I don't have a problem with it being in the article (even at the top) but putting it on the main page is a bit much. Our first concern should be for our readers, many of whom are going to see this image with no choice. I would expect many of them won't know how to complain either, or just won't bother to find out. I would swap it with something else, but unfortunately there aren't really any other images in the article that are suitable. the wub "?!" 09:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Oh for goodness sakes, the image will be replaced in a matter of hours once the next article is chosen. I doubt 24 hours of this image being shown is going to that much harm. ---- Cyrenaic

Conversely, I doubt that a few hours of there not being a picture up on the home page for the Featured Article will hurt anything. The picture is squickish, and we don't need to treat every visitor to en.wikipedia.org to a photo of a protruding eye with the surrounding skin pulled back. I am going to remove the image from the home page. - Brian Kendig 12:46, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Thanks, brian. is this going to be the end of it? dposse 12:50, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
I doubt it. ;) I acknowledge that removing the photo isn't the best solution - I'd prefer to have a less squicky photo there in its place, instead; perhaps a photo of the face of a person with this condition going about a normal day? - and the home page does look a bit naked without an image up there for the FA. But I believe the image there was doing more harm than good to Wikipedia; we don't want people to think they should avoid WP because they might encounter a squicky image in the course of looking up something unrelated. And I haven't seen any argument for keeping the eye picture on the home page other than "oh, come on, be tough, *I* don't mind it, and there are worse images out there." I don't feel that's good enough justification for keeping it. - Brian Kendig 13:09, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I hardly ever comment on Wiki - but this image just got to me. I use Wiki a lot and today I find myself avoiding it. The gross images should be kept for the article page - they shouldn't be there on the homepage. Glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way!~~Tina S~~

I, too, am one of the once-silent majority. That image was disgusting. Whoever removed it has my sincerest thanks. Frankly, if it was a good image, it would have more defenders. This idea that 'only complainers complain' is nonsense. And all you self-righteous jerks who think that ticking off a large minority is somehow a good thing... please, don't work on the main page. We don't want you to. 13:06, 5 June 2006 (UTC) (Edit: changed majority to minority. 13:06, 5 June 2006 (UTC))

Ladies and gentlemen, please make up your mind! Either the picture goes or it stays. We can't have a edit war all day long over this! dposse 13:08, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I think a reduction of the picture size is a reasonable compromise, it greatly reduces the impact of the image. otocan

I'd say swap it with this one, as it's harmless and shows the EFFECT of the disease, rather than just what it looks like. More informative in my opinion. MightyMoose22 13:14, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Someone undid my removal and put the squicky picture back up there. I just changed it to :Image:Corneal topography right ax.jpg instead; while it doesn't illustrate the condition quite as clearly, that's the point. I thought about using the Kc simulation picture instead, but when made small enough to fit on the FA section of the home page, I felt it was too vague. - Brian Kendig 13:18, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Quite right. There was no consensus here to remove the picture. Please put it back. It's disgraceful for Wikipedia to allow a picture of a naked lady on the main page whilst censoring an image depicting a disability. — SteveRwanda 13:31, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Huh? The image of Venus Anadyomene is a tasteful nude; nothing disgraceful about it. The image of keratoconus was a closeup of an eye with someone using his fingers to pull the skin back from it. Removing that image isn't a judgment of people suffering with keratoconus; it's merely acknowledging that lots of people are squicky about eyes. (Consider how often eyes, and doing nasty things thereto, are a staple of horror films.) I don't think people would even want to see an image on the home page of a normal eye with the skin pulled back. - Brian Kendig 13:41, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
OK, maybe my words were too harsh - and I certainly wouldn't criticise the Venus image - but it remains the case that very many people wanted this image to remain, including Raul, who put it there in the first place. — SteveRwanda 13:51, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
May want to change the ALT text as the image has been changed. -- 13:55, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Fixed - thanks for the heads-up. - Brian Kendig 14:37, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
The new image is much poorer than the old one for illustrating the subject matter. Wikipedia is supposed to have NPOV and be an encyclopaedia. Replacing an image with one that does not illustrate the topic as well as the replaced image makes no sense for an encyclopaedia and peoples' personal views on whether they find an image grotesque should not lead to an inferior image being used instead. While I personally do not find the image the most pleasant to look at, it is at least an accurate reflection of the article. Martin Hinks 13:56, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Good style is an important part of an encyclopedia--nobody can dispute that. It is not good style to make people lose their breakfast. 14:17, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
But the image is on topic in the article in question, and anyone who opens the full article will see it at the top of the page. It's pretty pointless to keep replacing the front-page image if that means more people will be surprised when they open the article. 14:22, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Good point (both of the above); however, you have to correctly represent the issue being presented. While the article on cannibalism won't have pictures of... you know what, articles about medical conditions and such should have images such as the old one to represent what they really look like. And don't worry, I too am fairly grossed out by it; perhaps we can implement a system where you can turn off images that are designated "gruesome"? Master of Puppets FREE BIRD! 14:24, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
I believe you may just have stumbled across WP:TOBY. <ducks> -Splash - tk 14:27, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
By clicking a link to a medical condition, you're accepting the risk of gross images. It is silly that a medical condition article not include images that are appropriate to the article. But it is equally silly that a user-friendly default main page include images that are not "user-friendly". We're trying to welcome users to Wikipedia, not drive them away. This is a main page, not an article about eyeballs, and having a big ugly eyeball on it is not going to help it serve its function as a main page. 14:30, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

What the question boils down to is this: Should a visitor to the Wikipedia home page be presented with an image which he is likely to find repulsive? (I feel it's safe to assume that a lot of people may find this image repulsive; if you disagree and think most people won't bat an eye at it, please speak up.) Does Wikipedia have a responsibility to acquaint homepage visitors with the details of today's Featured Article even if the details might be repulsive? My answer to this would be no; I see no obligation to put the repulsive image on the home page. As long as it's still in the article, that's not censorship. - Brian Kendig 14:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I never comment on Wiki either, but that popped eyeball was utterly disgusting. Consider me the "silent majority" as well --Broux 15:04, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

The state of affairs involving this image helps to highlight how strange Wikipedia's policies on censorship is. The policy is odd in the sense that without logical censorship of pointlessly "grotesque" images, a large proportion of learners and people striving for information (i.e. Children and people who might be sensitive to such images), cannot take advantage of Wikipedia. It's a policy which doesn't make Wikipedia accessible to all, but only accessible to people over 18 or 21, who happen to not get squeamish over such graphic images.

It's often said pictures can be a thousand words. In this case 33 words: the initial first sentence. Perhaps that shows how pointless it is to have such an image on the front page. 15:06, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I found the photo fascinating and in perfectly good taste. It excellently visualises instantly the mechanism behind an important medical condition. In contrast, the computer-generated image that replaced it is extremely obscure, boring, and meaningless unless one has read first a detailed technical explanation of what it shows. The replacement image is a textbook example of an image that is not a good choice for the front page. Please put the fascinating and very illustrative original eye photograph back! There is no harm in Wikipedia presenting a gently stimulating and exciting photo every know and then. The front page should signal that Wikipedia is about science and knowledge, and not about political correctness and bland lowest-common denominator esthetics. 15:08, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
It is an interesting photo, but it is also an image that provokes a visceral reaction against it - I have a strong stomach, and even I thought "ugh". I think it's not a matter of censorship, since that image should certainly be available on the article's page, but it can't be denied that the image, due to its subject, may be found by a significant number of people to be unpleasant. I would vote for it to be changed back to the previous image that wasn't so graphic, although admittedly, not as informative.

Wikipedia does have a history of where it would censor images. For instance, when the swastika was the featured article, the image was of a Nazi swastika was originally used and it was changed to the Hindu image to be less offensive. Behun 15:51, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

That's not quite true (I should know, considering I'm the one who writes these things). I originally used the curvy hindu swastika, someone (Brian0918, I think) changed it to a Nazi one, and I changed it back stating that I intentionally avoided using a Nazi one. Raul654 18:23, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I'll add a few words here as one of the principal authors of the article and the one who nominated it for the front page. There was never any intention whatsoever to cause people repulsion and it is regrettable that this turned out to be the case. I actually have keratoconus: it's not even a rare condition. --BillC 16:53, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Please don't worry about overly squeamish Wikipedians; and thank you for writing the article. When I look at a picture like this one, I can't help but find it interesting, but I realize I'm priviledged to look at it from a purely academic standpoint without actually suffering from the condition. People should not have to worry about possibly being repulsive to others. Repulsion to other humans is superficially understandable in some cases, but in effect, what it comes down to is a lack of respect and compassion. I don't see any reason to support that. Mstroeck 17:05, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I choose education over censorship anyday. Ignorance leads to trouble. Read history --Monotonehell 17:22, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

Keep it. All arguments have been stated, just wanted to chime in in support.--Zambaccian 21:17, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

A huge number of users that saw this image had a problem with it. That is a fact. Maybe when an image is offensive, there SHOULD BE NO IMAGE. Just remove the image for the day entirely. I do not see why there has to be an image everyday anyway. Little kids visit wikipedia to get information, it is just un-tasteful to put such an image up on the mainpage. I am not one for political correctness, but that image was beyond ridiclous. What is next, an image of a surgery with blood and guts all over, just cause it is "informative"? Better judgement should be used before just blatnly placing un-tasteful images on the mainpage. And to argue that more users don't visit the mainpage than anything else is just stupid. It is a fact that on the internet, people bookmark mainpages. How can anyone even attempt to argue they do not. --Blakis 02:28, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

The way that some people cannot tell the difference between sensitivity based on good taste and real censorship is very sad. This picture should not have been shown out of respect for the squeamish, but it is all to clear that people with gross out tastes do not have any respect for those who feel differently. Chicheley 15:00, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Define what squeamish is and I'll agree with your argument; otherwise it is definitely not all to[o] clear that I and others have no respect. There was nothing wrong with that picture - in my opinion (and I know I'm not alone from the amazing discussion above) it wasn't gross, tasteless, pornographic or oozing bodily fluids: just a good photograph from a respected source illustrating, in true Wikipedia style, the condition being described in the excellent article. Bazza 17:33, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Image for Featured Article[edit]

The current image for the featured article (the diagram) is ridiculously dull, uninformative, and confusing to the average reader. You can't read the axes, or the words, or anything. Even at "full size", it's only 173px wide. Whereas the original image made it clear exactly what the disorder was, this image tells you nothing. What's the point?

Also Raul654 said further up that the eyeball image is final. Please respect his decision. We don't need to revert war over the side profile of a person about to put in a contact lens, who happens to have a disorder.

The only thing that is making people squeamish is seeing an eye exposed to whatever possible dangers their brains can and do imagine, an eye that they can't close. We should censor an image for the mental pictures that people create?

This is NOT a picture of medical imagery. If you walked by someone with this disorder as he was putting in his contact lenses, you'd see this exact same image. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 15:29

Hi Brian; you're right about the edit war, but I have to disagree with your generalisation about why people find the pic squicky. Personally, it is NOT the vulnerability of the eye, it's the pointiness of it. It just really squicks me. If it were just a regular eye with the lids stretched it wouldn't bother me in the least.--Anchoress 15:55, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Of the images that have been used so far, would you agree that this one is the most informative, though? It tells you immediately what the disorder is, while the other images tell you exactly nil. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 16:04
Oh I think it's an awesome illustration of the disorder, and I think I made that clear in my posts above; that's why I think it's a key element of the article.--Anchoress 16:16, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
It's an excellent illustration of the article, but as with most people in the conversation above, I have a strong stomach, and I still get squeamish when I see it. Whether it's a real disorder or not, is it what we want visitors (maybe first-time visitors) to see when they visit the site? I don't mind if it stays or not, I'm just trying to bring up a point to think about the visitors. -- DakPowers (Talk) 16:25, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
"Strong" compared to what? I was initially repulsed until I realized that it's just a disorder, not some sort of surgery. If you're stomach is so strong, please take a look at rotten.com. :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 16:37
Strong as in, I've viewed many a rotten and Ogrish, and very few of them fazed me. Dead people, etc., in my opinion, is much less displeasing than say, that video where the lady gets the 5" zit drained. It's just unnatural (or rather, uncommon) stuff that gets me. It'll only be up for a couple more hours, though, so I can live with it. As I said, it was only the visitors I was worried about. :) – DakPowers (Talk) 17:41, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
"Repulsive", "qrotesque", "squicky" - these are totally subjective assessments of the image that, ultimately, are in the eye of the beholder (pun intended). The diagram was useless as a main page thumbnail for the article, and the eyeball photgraph is totally inoccuous, it's just a photograph for goodness sake. I really can't believe how much kerfuffle has been going on over it, and how the objections of a few managed to have it removed for such a period of time. Long live the eyeball I say ... :-) --Cactus.man 16:04, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Objections of the few? Are you mad? How about the insistence of the few? The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs) -- No, I'm not mad (yet), but thankfully this ridiculous furore will be over soon. --Cactus.man 18:18, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Have you tried looking at the diagram full size? It's useless whether thumbnailed or not, as it's just a thumbnail itself. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 16:05
Just tried looking at the diagram "full-sized". I see what you mean, which is even more reason not to use it. --Cactus.man 16:24, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

edit break[edit]

See my comment above. --BillC 17:00, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

How dare you force our eyes to look at your eyes ;) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 17:21

PLEASE get rid of that photo --or crop it to the part of the eyeball that's relevant. The whole "popping eyeball" thing on the mainpage is excessive and gross. Why not just do a feature on the asshole and use that photo that's running around. It really turned me off when I went to the mainpage, and I know it must be disturbing to most people visiting --and it isn't apparently necessary, if I'm reading the summary right. I love all the "OMG, you must not be serious about wikipedia if you don't like the photo on the mainpage" comments...seriously, what is up with that attitude? --Bobak 17:43, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

"Popping eyeball"??? It's not sticking out any further, it's just shaped differently. Next you'll be telling me you're "literally going to puke... literally!" — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 18:35
I love that photo for the FA. It's informative; the article is about a cornea defect and the first thing I noticed was how the curvature of the eye in the photo looks "sharper" than that of a regular eye. --Madchester 18:07, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Well said, informative is the key word here. The images that augment our Featured Articles should be informative, and this one is. --Cactus.man 18:13, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Plus, it's not like the image is permanent. In a few hours, it will be gone, replaced by a new featured article. -albrozdude 18:21, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Plus, the image was in the FA queue for a week before today, and nobody complained beforehand. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 18:30
Thanks for restoring the exciting original eye photo. Squeamishness is usually a sign that someone has been too well shielded from the beauty and fascination of the real world, and what better than an encyclopedia can help them to open their eyes more. Squeamish people tend react much less strongly if they see whatever triggered a strong reaction for the second or third time. Markus Kuhn 18:45, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
For heaven's sake get rid of it - it's horrible. Keep it in the main article by all means but there are lots and lots of examples of photos and pages that will never, and should never, be included on the main page because of their likelihood to disgust a large section of visitors. Surely the reaction here shows that this is one of them.--Lo2u 19:01, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
You seem to be under the impression that a) the fact that a minority finds a medical image disgusting is somehow relevant; and b) that Wikipedia is some sort of democracy. You are wrong on both counts ;-) Mstroeck 20:12, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Yes, things that wouldn't make the main page might include nudity or pornography. Are you saying that it's just one step from showing the side profile of a person who's putting in a contact lens, to showing a person naked on the main page? As for your "large section of viewers", the number of complaints has been extremely small compared to the number of people who view the main page daily (a dozen or so, versus tens/hundreds of thousands, or about 0.01% to 0.1%). — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 19:57
You realize that as of 20:02, 5 June 2006 (UTC), there actually is a picture of a person naked on the main page: :Image:Anadyomene.jpg? I've no opinions one way or another on the subject, but just found that amusing. :) GeeJo (t)(c) • 20:02, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
That's a god, not a person :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 20:06
I wouldn't object to a naked person on the front-page in an artistic, informational or medical context. Mstroeck 20:15, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
But surely if the picture is appropriately illustrating an encyclopedia article, it is by definition informational? GeeJo (t)(c) • 20:18, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Get rid of the ugly thing, what next? will you make goatse.cx a featured article and i will have to see goatse ass every time i will go to the main page? Jernejl 19:28, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Yes, that's the next logical step, obviously.... — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 19:53
Apparently the next logical step is to keep making snide comments at people who disagree even after you got the outcome you wanted. Obviously. --squirrel 20:44, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
Jernejl claimed something obviously ridiculous as if it was obvious fact. In any case, you can take comfort in knowing that you didn't stoop to my level of snideness in your reply..... — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 21:28

Do you all get my comment? Why not crop the photo to the actual eyeball instead of the gratuitous parts around it (the parts that are what are actually creeping people). The stretched eyelid above and below has nothing, nothing to do with the subject. I have yet to see someone explain that. Hah, have your eyeball and eat it to :-p --Bobak 19:35, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • I've tried cropping, but without the surrounding lids/lashes, the eyeball loses all context and looks like a "white thingy with a black thingy next to it." — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 19:55

I have to agree with the majority of the people here. This image is disturbing, to say the least, and I think by the very nature that there are about a hundred or more people complaining about it shows that there are a lot more who don't write here very disturbed by it. This isn't censorship, this is just 'can we find a less squeamish picture to put up'? I'm sure the article's great, and there seemed to be several good pictures in it, but that picture is just too much for the main page. 20:54, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • The number of people who have replied here do not represent a majority of the people who have viewed the main page; the number of complaints has been relatively small (a dozen or so, versus tens/hundreds of thousands of viewers, or about 0.01% to 0.1%). — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 21:01
  • Also, catering to the easily-offended is the same thing as self-censoring. Rather than fixing your problem with viewing the side profile of a person who's putting in his contact lenses, you wish us to change the image for everyone else, thereby avoiding your own problem. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 21:02
  • Considering that the photo does not violate any Wikipedia policies or guidelines, there's no reason for its removal. Likewise, Wikipedia gets almost 3 billion daily page views, so unless you take a representative sample, you can't claim that the "majority" want the photo removed. Regardless, Wikipedia is not a democracy and may contatin content your find objectionable. --Madchester 21:04, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
    • Brian, you seem to be one of the very few defending this vehemently, while all around you dozens of posters are chiming in to say that the image is rather disturbing. If this were one or two people complaining about an image, I could see it being "easily offended" but it seems that many here are slightly disturbed by the picture. As others have pointed out, what's the difference between this and Goatse or other images which many find offensive? Carcharoth makes a very good point - medical imagery can be disturbing to many. And seeing as there are perfectly legitimate other ways to express this - as in charts, diagrams, etc., that others have suggested, you seem to simply be blithely ignoring the outcry, which is clearly symptomatic of many people who have seen the image and been disturbed but do not know how/do not care to write about it in the discussion page. I'm not claiming it's a majority, but here's a fact to chew on --- out of dozens and dozens of complaints here, there seem to be only a handful of people defending the image. Don't you think that's something worthwhile? 21:59, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Simply saying "I'm offended" counts for nothing. That's no way to build consensus. The diagram that was suggested is unreadable at any size--the full size version is only 170 pixels wide; completely useless and uninformative, as I pointed out numerous times above (did you skip that?). I'm used to seeing a large number of complaints on a high-profile subject, such as Mediawiki:Anonnotice, so numbers alone don't intimidate me; no matter how many of you try to say "look at how many of us there are, we must be right", you are still only 0.01% to 0.1% of the number of people who view the main page. Provide any rationale beyond "I'm offended", and I'll listen.BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 22:21
        • Brian, I understand your point, but I disagree with it. Are there any other, less visceral images we can use? There are several in the article, even excluding the diagram. And when I point out our numbers (as I do below), I only note it because it is clearly an indication of a greater, non-posting number of users. The 45 people posting against this aren't the only Wikipedians offended by it -- surely you can admit that, and surely you can admit that the numbers are clearly larger due to the response. On the other hand, even if we are only .01% to .1% of the number of people who view the main page, it would make you, the vehement defenders of keeping the image, even less than .01%. My point is this, the main page is different. If I click on a wikipedia article for penis, open heart surgery, putrefication or Joseph Merrick, I expect what I get. When I click on the main page for Wikipedia, I have no choice in the matter. Therefore, images which cause unnecessary squeemishness to a large portion of people - such non-artistic nudity, shocking images like Goatse, disturbing medical conditions, etc. - and this is a large portion, I wager, should be replaced by less visceral pictures. Even Raul and BillC stated that the intent of the images was not to make one squeamish, and Raul replaced the image with something else until it was put back. I think this should bring up a bigger debate on what guidelines medical imagery should garner on the main page, accessible to every single person who enters Wikipedia. But, Brian, I would like to know your reasoning behind not placing a picture of Goatse.cx on the main page if the article was an FA? 22:40, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
        • To address Brian's argument here: "you are still only 0.01% to 0.1% of the number of people who view the main page." - this is a logical fallacy. The same argument could be applied if the article had started with a poor quality diagram and editor A then argued against editor B replacing the diagram with the photograph. Editor A could say that only a small number of people were arguing in support of Editor B to use the photograph, and hence should be ignored. The numbers argument has never worked on content issues in Wikipedia. The argument should be solely about the content and its use: Is the use appropriate? Can something better be used? What are the pros and cons of each position? Is it possible to build a consensus view, rather than polarising into opposing camps of opinion? Carcharoth 06:28, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
          • I'm not making an argument based on numbers. I'm saying that their argument based on numbers is flawed or wrong. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-07 00:52

I happen to be used to seeing pictures of medical conditions, some of which should be labelled with warnings. That's probably why the eye picture didn't shock me. But I recognise that some people would be shocked by it. I suggest that the guidelines for the use of images of nudity/genitalia/whatever are updated to include medical imagery. There is a grey area, and some people are more easily shocked than others. That is why there should be a guideline somewhere on the use of medical imagery that has the potential to shock people. Carcharoth 21:23, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Wikipedia does not self-censor for the easily offended. See the disclaimer. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 21:30

I'm more offended by the way this mess has been handled by administrators. The condescension fairly drips off this page. Very little effort at building a consensus. --squirrel 21:34, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Consensus wouldn't be easy for something like this. You're either offended or you're not. The problem is whether or not to apply any importance to the simple complaint, "I'm offended." Should it bypass all else? I say: of course not. The simplest solution would be to make a guideline/policy stating that if an image or article has no complaints during the week before it finally appears on the main page (since these things are selected a week in advance), then it will go on the main page and should not be changed. Then, maybe, people will pay more attention to tomorrow's featured article, before it becomes today's featured article. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 21:39

Just one final note. I've tallied up the responses, and there are about 45 posters who are vehemently against posting the image, 5 for vehemently keeping it, 10 for keeping it but expressing no strong opinion, and 2-3 of no opinion. 22:18, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • There are actually hundreds of thousands who have not left a response, either out of apathy, or, more likely, the image does not irritate them. Or they simply don't know about this talk page, or that they can edit it. Whatever the case, Wikipedia is not a democracy. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 22:30
    • Wikipedia is not a democracy. On the flipside, you are not the dictator. Please do not assume that you speak for the entire Wikipedia community and may make pronouncements by fiat. 22:46, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Of course I wouldn't do that. That would be ridiculous. I'm simply arguing what little rationale anyone has tried to give beyond "I'm offended". — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 23:03
        • Okay, here's what I think is a reasonable set of questions or guidelines to follow on main page postings.
          1. Is the image the best representation of the article? (Yes)
          2. Is the image intentionally offensive? (No)
          3. Is the image unintentionally offensive? (Yes)
          4. Does there exist an equal or better representation of the image that is unoffensive? (Yes)
        • Again, this should only be valid for the main page, because users have no choice in whether or not to view it. 23:13, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
          • Unintentionally offensive? How do you determine that? I could see an argument for something being intentionally offensive, but unintentional offensiveness is more an aspect of the reader, not of the editor. Also, where is this "equal or better representation"; can you provide an example? As for your claim that viewers have no choice, why do you believe that? Are we forcing anyone to set the main page as their homepage? My bookmark to Wikipedia goes to my watchlist, not the main page; so there is the 1 necessary counterexample to your claim that "users have no choice in whether or not to view" the main page. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 23:23
            • Thank you for editing my response to properly format it. All these questions should be referencing the "average" or "reasonable reader", as under US jurisprudence. Equal or better representation - the are other pictures available, for example, this, that are not as upsetting to the average visitor. And, again, when I say that users have no choice, I reference that the vast majority of users access the main page first. Do you dispute that the main page gets far more hits than any of the other pages? They do not decide to view an article or image of keratoconus, Yucca Mountain Johnny, the Czech Republic Elections, etc., and due discretion should be used so as not to unintentionally offend the average user without him making an informed decision on a subject. Is this so unreasonable? 23:46, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
              • The image you give is not under a free license, so it couldn't be used on the main page. I don't know if the main page gets more hits; we don't have statistics for that, but regardless, users have a choice. They can close the browser at any time. We do not self-censor. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 01:49

There's now a new Featured Article on the home page, and so this issue is dead; but I wanted to make two comments for the record because I believe the problem has been misrepresented in the discussion above. One: it's not about offending people, a picture of an eye is not offensive; it's about being tasteful and considerate to people who would come to Wikipedia and not expect to be grossed out by an image suddenly presented before them. Two: This is not the best possible image by which to illustrate the problem, because the photo is of someone's eye being held open by fingers, the skin around it being pulled back - THAT is what makes the photo grotesque. If it had been a closeup of a normal eye being held open that way, it still would have been squickish. If the photo of the diseased eye had not had the skin being pulled back from it, I believe it would have been an acceptable photo for use on the home page. - Brian Kendig 00:21, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

  • The skin is pulled back to show how the curvature of the eye changes; if the skin weren't pulled back, it wouldn't be so clear what the problem was. That is why it is an informative picture. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 01:53
    • I agree with Brian Kendig. See my comments at Talk:Keratoconus. I still don't know what a keratoconic eye looks like in normal life - I've only seen one with the eyelids pulled back, and that is not the normal look. Ideally, the article would have both pictures (eyelids in place and eyelids pulled back, and the former could have been used on the main page). Wikipedia has only partly informed me, and left me with unanswered questions. That will always be a problem with an encyclopedia that is restricted to free images, unless the requested images are created and uploaded. Carcharoth 06:35, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
If people want a main page that will not offend then they should bookmark http://wikipedia.org/ and promote it here to be the main entry page for anonymous visitors. People can and will be offended anything, this is not the first time people have taken offence about content on the Main Page --Clawed 07:07, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
If we ever have a Featured Article about cancer, are we going to put a picture up on the home page of someone lying on the operating table sliced open with a doctor holding the organs back to clearly show the tumor, because that's an informative picture? - Brian Kendig 14:26, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
  • One additional point I'd like to make is that, no, Wikipedia is not censored. However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be sensitive to what we put on the main page; just because there's no rule against it. The number of complaints is enough to indicate to me that something should have been done, because for every person who actually comments lots more are going to be thinking the same. -- Mithent 13:27, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Monday, june 5th, 2006 featured article[edit]

The article is too grotesque to be on the main page, please change the article or at least take off the picture, thank you.--Andy 22:31, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

  • Please provide any rationale beyond "I'm offended." Does it violate any guidelines or policy? Is it there simply for shock value? Is it not informative? Anything, please. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-05 22:46
  • This inspires me to get the penis article up to FA status. --Nelson Ricardo 23:29, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
  • Its an eye for god's sake-- 23:35, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
  • I object to Andy's suggested course of action, just for the record. It is a wonderfully illustrative, gore-free illustration of a medical condition. — ceejayoz talk 23:37, 5 June 2006 (UTC)
  • To some people an eye bulging out of its socket is offensive or disgusting, I am not saying remove it from wikipedia as a whole, but the main page is the most viewed page and with a picture like that it could deeply disgust or offend anybody.--Andy 00:43, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • So could an article on evolution, but I'd hope we wouldn't avoid it on the Main Page either. — ceejayoz talk 01:00, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • The eye in that image isn't bulging out of its socket. It's just shaped differently. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 01:32
  • right the whole point that the "eye" is "bulging" outside of the "socket" would give people the idea--Andy 02:36, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Alternative picture[edit]

I've uploaded a new version of the picture. It's a minor change but it may be slightly less objectionable. If anyone likes it, feel free to use this version in the article. Shawnc 04:02, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

  • the pic looks exactly the same--Swainstonation 04:41, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • No it doesn't. You may be viewing the old version, or need to refresh your cache. Or you may need to look more closely. Carcharoth 06:37, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • people dont study the main picture, they glance at it, and if it looks the same from a glance, its the same--Andy 11:51, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Speaking of which[edit]

I object to this disgusting, horrific krazy kat that is on the main page. Wocka-wocka-wocka! --Bobak 00:07, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

  • At least you'd have an argument. That cat's appearance, along with Felix the Cat, Bosko, and other blackface cartoons of yore are all the products of racism. Not that I'm seriously arguing for its removal :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 00:12
  • This obscene image of the gender-confused feline is an outrage. The initials of "Krazy Kat" are also strikingly similar to that of the Ku Klux Klan. Thank you very much, Wikipedia, as I have just lost my appetite (the fact that I already ate has nothing to do with it.) Shawnc 01:00, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
Not to mention a Did You Know item about very outdated medical device for women with which to administer a poison to to them. What's going on here. The item is objectionable in my opinion. --Ancheta Wis 02:12, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
Everything is poisonous; it's the dose that matters :) — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 04:16
  • KK means nothing, krispy kreme and king kong both are KK and they are not white supremicists--Andy 02:38, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • On the contrary, highly squeamish individuals such as myself find many things offensive. How dare you ignore our paranoia. Shawnc 04:02, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
  • oooo wow, ur sarcasm is funny, u should become a comedian. im kidding by the way--Andy 04:26, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • There is nothing funny about our paranoia! "Anyone else notice the KKK's under the bridge in town (at the beginning and the end of the film [King Kong])? Strong black ape falls for weak white lady, climbs white phallic symbol and falls to his doom. This doesn't sound racist to anyone else?"[3] "It may be interesting to note that the words "Kill King Kong," which is the goal at the end of the film, have the initials KKK."[4] Shawnc 04:45, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
  • most of the stuff u listed wasnt racism--Andy 04:57, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • And now, time to get Penis and Evolution on the main page. Or, even better, the Evolution of the penis. Shawnc 05:16, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
      • Evolution has already been on the main page. Penis has not - at least not my any legitimate user ;) Raul654 05:25, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
        • I'm disappointed. The Penis, on either a biological, cultural, or economic level, is far more important a concept than just about anything that has ever been featured on the main page. This can be proven logically: without it, how could a guy go to Toilets in Japan? Can AIDS ever be curbed if people remain ignorant of its functions? Could any Sperm Whale family survive without this equipment? Speaking of whales, few realize that the real reason an Exploding whale's carcass attracted much attention on the streets of Tainan was because of its giant Penis -- it's true![5] Just like South Park wasn't kidding about Xenu being a genuine religious belief. Now ask yourself, did L. Ron Hubbard picture a great leader like Xenu without a Penis? I think not! Shawnc 06:48, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

South park was mocking scientoligy nott promoting it--Andy 11:50, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

  • YWhy would uyou even try to put penis as an FA, for shock value? because i didnt know wikipedia was a porn site.--Andy 11:53, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
    • A picture of a penis in an article about penises would not be porn. That would be an imformative, in context illustrative picture. (Sorry correcting your typing was a cheap shot but it is funny ;) ) --Monotonehell 12:50, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Are you people serious?!?[edit]

Pardon me for butting in here, but as a long time reader (but not a contributor) and, yes, fan of Wikipedia, I am quite frankly appalled at this whole "Thine eye offends me" debate. I understand that as scholarly bookworm types you may have trouble dealing with reality. But it's a picture of an eye. I do appreciate all the hard work you folks have put into Wikipedia. I, for one, am certainly much more knowledgeable about the world thanks to you. But I am shocked that you would spend so much time and effort on such an utterly trivial matter. Personally, I read Wikipedia for the raw undiluted facts, not for some pre-digested pablum that Mommy and Daddy think won't upset my innocent 3-yr old mind too much. If I wanted that, I'd go to disney.com



ps - I'm almost tempted to start my own "Freepedia - The Uncensored Version"! The preceding unsigned comment was added by (talk • contribs)

Yes, they are serious. That doesn't mean they necessarily will be taken seriously, though ;-) Mstroeck 07:58, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
  • i dont think 3 year olds use computers--Andy 11:46, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
I am disappointed that so many people felt that their 'duty' to put a gross image up on the home page outweighed their courtesy to their fellow human beings who were uncomfortable with the image. - Brian Kendig 12:38, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
It's not that they wanted to put up a gross image; it's that they didn't think it was gross, or if they did, they realized that it was still the most informative image to use, and didn't violate any guidelines or policies, etc. "I'm offended" will never be a rationale worth listening to, and catering to the easily-offended is just as much a courtesy as buying a round of beers for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. — BRIAN0918 • 2006-06-06 14:48
A nontrivial number of people were bothered by the nature of the image. (Witness the amount of complaints here, and imagine how many people out there shared the sentiment without commenting.) You and a few others insisted it remain on the home page anyway, and chose to ignore the fact that it bothered anyone. That's just a lack of courtesy, because the home page did not need an informative image for the article if said image was squicking people out. It's like drinking a beer in front of a recovering alcoholic and telling him "I'm sorry you're bothered by this, but *I* don't have a problem with it, I'm not breaking any law, and I'm not going to cater to you just because you're easily offended." Perhaps we do need a guideline against another incident like this in the future; I'll raise it in the appropriate place. - Brian Kendig 15:44, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
If your alcoholic walks into a pub and demands everyone stop drinking, then it's an unreasonable request. If you go into a pub, you will see people drinking beer. If you go onto an encyclopaedia, you will see informative pictures and text about the world, most of which is a scary, disturbing, even disgusting place. --Sam Blanning(talk) 16:26, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
HeHe, mine's a double Sam ... hic --Cactus.man 16:38, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
Perhaps not 3-yr olds, but my 5-yr old certainly does use a computer. And more to the point, she was not "disturbed", "offended" or otherwise made uncomfortable by an image of an eyeball. To the contrary, she became rather informed about various eyeball afflictions. So best case, Wikipedia has just sparked a new career in opthamology. Worst case, she'll be more careful about her own eyeball maintenance and disease prevention. In any case, as her dad, it's my job to determine what she sees or doesn't see, not yours. - wisefool aka --Abhagwat 16:49, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

probably because she could not comprehend what she was seeing, ansd i dont think a 5 year old could care at all about eye diseases so i believe u made that story up--Andy 17:03, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

  • your story makes no sense, its not a very good metaphor--Andy 16:30, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
It's not about censorship. It is about good taste. If we had a article on the penis, would a picture of a penis go into the featured article page? If we had a featured article on a massacre somewhere, would a picture of some dead guy be appropriate for the featured article section? Of course not. Wikipedia is not censored, but we all must remember good taste when editing this website. dposse 15:58, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
The correct answers are generally: 1) yes; 2) yes. The image you are all complaining about has gone. Let's please give it a rest and drop it now OK. Time to move on, we have work to do, not pointless bickering. --Cactus.man 16:38, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

There is work to be done on wikipedia, is it like a job, that sucks i thought u could edit what u want when u want--The Nation 17:22, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Some of us consider it an unpaid job that we love to do. Others of us edit here and there as we desire. - UtherSRG (talk) 17:29, 6 June 2006 (UTC)
Oh, yes. Amen. -- 16:17, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

volunteering sucks, especially for something that doesnt care how you feel, it just cares about its namesake to protect--The Nation 19:34, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

What of this horrible picture of a man on the frontpage? Graven images! Wikipedia is full of idolaters --BURN THEM (it?)!!!1!111one! --18:15, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

WORLD CUP?! There is only one cup, and it is the holy grail, there is only one football, and it's American. I am offended!!! --Bobak 00:08, 8 June 2006 (UTC)

From Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers[edit]

Revision as of 17:14, 5 June 2006 (edit) (Talk)

(Title in other languages)
← Older edit
Revision as of 17:40, 5 June 2006 (edit)
LtPowers (Talk | contribs)
(rv. Um, no.)
Newer edit →
Line 73: Line 73:
*Swedish: Piff och Puff Räddningspatrullen *Swedish: Piff och Puff Räddningspatrullen
*Chinese: 救難小福星 *Chinese: 救難小福星
- *1337: "ch1p n 0413 r35cu3 r4ng3rz0r!11!1!" (Chip n' Dale: Rescue Rangersaur! eleven! one!  
== Fandom == == Fandom ==
  • Amusing, yes, but you didn't have to clean up after him. =) Powers 13:45, 22 July 2006 (UTC)

From Seven Deadly Sins[edit]

Section on Mnemonics:


This is the conglomorate of the initial letters of the Latin words for the virtues: humilitas, liberalis, industria, humanitas, frenum, patientia, and virtus. The resulting Latin verb is therefore hlihfpvare (to commit a heavenly virtue) [citation needed] .

Whilst technically accurate, it is extremely unlikely that this mnemonic, or any of the words formed using it, was ever conceived, let alone used, before it was written in this article.

Dk mode[edit]

DK Mode

A setting in video games that causes characters to have big heads. Oh and Osama Bin Laden was just caught.

Little shit[edit]

This article for Travis Adams

One who is being particularly annoying or disobediant. The first recorded utterance of "little shit" was by Walter Horton. Not much is known why it was uttered, but legend has it that Walter's son and his son's friend had been playing in dirt. Through his failed attempts to remove them from the dirt, he became increasingly aggitated, leading to an outburst in the car. Its rumored that despite his irratic driving and loud peaceful music in the background, his shouts of "little shit" caused small-scale vibrations in the earth, resulting in the deaths of 3 minorities.

Another well-documented case was that of Van Hammond. When he asked his son Kyle why he was sad, Kyle responded, "Because we didn't go to Bueno." Van's response was none other than, "You little shit."

Mabel Djembe[edit]

Holey moley. Who is the brains behind the Mabel Charade? It is her African chattin' babe 'sister', as she is commonly addressed, whose name is Ethel.

Ethel is a shady business woman. Born in the 40's, she endured a rough upbringing in Central Africa with her 19 siblings. Being the youngest of 20 made life difficult; there was always a fight at the dinner table over who got the most rice, and Ethel found herself getting a mere 5 or 6 grains in her wooden bowl.

Ethel managed to build up her first business when she began to teach Mulambo dancing to her pals. Earning about 3 mangoes per week, she was working her way up to the successful business woman she is today.

She became impregnated, although she was still a virgin, when God came down into her family's rice field and said to her 'Ethel, jew will haff a babeh gyal, jew will call heh Mabel.' And it was so. Ethel wanted to give Mabel a better life. Mabel’s hair was beautiful, soft and furry like a kiwi. Ethel knew in her heart that Mabel would one day be a famous actress.

So Ethel moved to England with little Mabel concealed in an empty coconut. They lived in the depths of Harlesden, and Ethel sent Mabel shopping for dinner and to the Convent to learn Drama. Ethel herself because a famous African actress, and an esteemed businesswoman. She paid a young woman named Lubawye to take care of Mabel as she flourished into a fabulous actress.

Now, Mabel is famous across the globe. Her family own many rice fields due to her success, and Mabel earns more mangoes than she can eat.

All is well.

From M_U_L_E[edit]

M_U_L_E, also known as Moo-ell is a very rare breed of male humans. He is a special man who is bisexual, but in love with MERU. (Will be added soon.)

Anything Star Wars[edit]

Antything Star Wars

My personal award/other stuff for it

Hilariously Awesome Film

4 1/2 **** 1/2 rating


Introduction Anything Star Wars is a non-offical Star Wars Fan Film.


  • [Warning! Plot and/or summary below]*

Anything Star Wars was created by a Father and Daughter at their house. It was entered in the Star Wars fan film festival at www.atomfilms.com. It is mainly about the two fighting in which the little girl usually wins.

  • [Plot/Summary over]*

Music Video


I Like,Vader,My Saber,I like Anything Star Wars!

End of Chourus


  • The Father usually kept hurting himself with his Lightsaber.
  • The father was called: Darth Daddy.


BAVAJITH was the greatest person ever to live he once picked up a man with his pinky but also killed a pig with his thumb. Well lets get to the cool parts about bava, okay here is a bio on him. Bava is 8ft 10" age 14 and has millions of girls following him and also he goes to a school named highgate. His old school was tecumseh and was the brightest that ever lived there. Bava is extremely famous in his skool he has so much nicknames bava, baba, bavageek, bajabee, babaidi, and babi, "bob the boulder can u dig it" also baby bava. There are so much but the best one and the most famous one bava. Well lets get too some juicy info's in highgate P.S.

Well first we all know about harikaran A.K.A bignose he lives in a average life with ofcourse his bignose. oh what the hell there's nothing else about him but his nose. BUt hey here is a picture of him.http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y239/flaxwaffle/d2x-dogs-nose1JPEG.jpg

There is lemuel in the other side thats just super stupid well sometimes. Okay listen to this he laughed at a eraser rolling by. And he laughs at well anything, he is in love with this girl named tashuana and seriously would do anything for her. You want a picture you got one.http://absolutestockphoto.com/albums/userpics/10043/normal_Absolute_43_25.jpg

Well stay toon for more in something oh crap I forgot. Just wait till next week for more.

Geoffrey Warbers[edit]

Geoffrey Warbers [1442-1566] was a British inventor famous primarily for being the man responsible for saving the plight of Hobophobes throughout England who, thanks to their phobia, were unable to cook anything upon a hob. His 'Frying Warber' was hailed as a design of genius at the time, and Geoffrey achieved a small period of celebrity; unfortunately rumours abound, not soon after his device was created, that he was himself a closet Hobophobe who was ashamed of his own disposition. This alienated him from both the Hobophobic community and the majority of the English; it ultimately led to the collapse of his marriage. Records state that he died in a well after being pursued by an early seed of the Leper Vomit-Pan Alliance.


Hobophobes are those people found throughout the globe who have a built-in fear of cooking hobs. The first recorded hobophobe is not known, though he or she is almost certainly of English origin. Inventor of The Hobophobic's Extenda-Pan Geoffrey Warbers was the first widespread name known to those outside of hobophobic circles, though the affliction predates Warbers' invention by a hundred years at least.

From User talk:Conrad Devonshire[edit]

Ok, ok...i might be going beyond my boundaries here but i created all that for the purposes of showing my girlfriend as we were having a conversation along similar lines just the other night and i wanted to give her some amusement. Not the place to be doing it, serious website etc i know...i know... cant it just stay put for a couple of days tho? Youd be my personal hero, Conrad.


Being a VLG or Vlggy is a state of being. Some proponents of Vlgginess say, rather, that it is a way of life. To understand Vlgginess, one must first understand the components of the abbreviation "VLG".

V = Violent L = Little G = Girl

While VLG stands for "Violent Little Girl," one does not need to have all three components described in the abbreviation "VLG" to be considered "Vlggy"; the only requirement to be considered "vlggy" is that one must be violent or greatly annoying. Therefore, theoretically, there can be a vlggy person who is a Giant Man, although it is considered very rare to find an example of a vlggy Giant Man.

From Template:User tonee[edit]

Tony Sidaway train.jpg This user believes Tonee is the new Messiah.

From WP:Sandbox[edit]



SCHOOL'S OUT! HALLELUJAH! Did anybody else just get out of school? Who's ready for summer?!

Yeah, man. I know I am. :)

Same here

I don't get out til Thursday, and I still have a week of exams first :(

Adam sucks on lollypops along with the rest of the world

Allesha hol is a hooker

Is she hot?


article at Turtleism: It about having pet turles.

Old vandalism to Abercrombie & Fitch[edit]

Matt Bastien[edit]

Matt Bastien tries to get away with wearing Abercrombie and sporting its trendy look, but it just doesn't work. He doesn't have what it takes. Unfortunatly for him, he doesn't realize he only looks doofie trying to get away with it. People at his school often throw food at his clothing in hopes that he wont wear it again.

This page is full. Please add new Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense to the latest page, not here.